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- By Life Coach Ritu Singal
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Many parents think that the end of pregnancy is the end of the most laborious part of parenthood. What they don’t know is that it is the beginning of a very crucial phase of life, which is developing a good parent-child relationship. Apart from all the roles that you play professionally and personally, the parenting process becomes the most important of them all. Parenthood will and should take over all your other aspects.
A few days back, a family came to attend a counseling session with me. The parents had a 16-year-old boy. They thought that their son has gone out of their hands and that he does not obey anything they say. The health of the father had started declining because of the irresponsible behavior of the son. As they started counseling with me, I realized the problem behind all this was the generation gap.
The parents were still following the orthodox methods of parenting where they wanted their son to study all day, perform well at school, avoid social gatherings, and all such activities. The father always shouted at him, thinking this the method of handling stubborn kids. This method of the father had made his son least bothered about anything.
When I counseled the father and asked him to be polite and a bit more open to his son’s lifestyle, he agreed. In the next session, I asked their son how things have been with his dad lately, he said, “Suspiciously well!”
He was surprised to notice his dad was no more shouting at him. Gradually they all started adjusting to each other’s way of living. The son started performing well.
On the third session, when I asked his dad how his health is, he said on a scale of 1-10, my health has reached 5, from 3 in just two sessions. They were very satisfied and happy with the counseling.
This incident made me think that most parents give the best of parenting when their kids are young, but as the kids grow up, they start getting away from their parents. The healthy parent-child relation should last forever and not just for a phase. I know each one of us tries hard to be the best parent to their child, and I know we give our best in the process.
A Healthy Parent-Child Relationship
As a parent, you give a perfect start in life to your child. You nurture them, protect them, and always guide them towards the right path. In a way, you prepare your child to be more and more independent as they grow.
This parent-child relation will lay the foundation for your child’s life choices, personality, and overall development. Even after your child grows into an independent being, there are certain things that you should do to help them.
Why is a parent-child relation critical?
- The relation that you form with your child is the relation they will carry forward in their lives. Loving parents or a single parent will create loving children, and these children will bear the legacy of forming kind relations with others in the future. It is how a parent-child relationship is crucial to be maintained from infancy to adulthood of your kids.
- If the relationship between you and your child is a loving relationship, then the child will always feel secure about sharing his feelings, problems, and challenges openly with you. In this way, the child will not hide things from you or try to find peace in strangers.
- A good family relation creates a child who is emotionally, physically, and mentally well developed. The child remains optimistic as long as he knows his parents are by his side. If you are a single parent family, your responsibility towards your child doubles. You have to make sure your child does not feel a void in the family.
How to build a robust parent-child relationship?
Now that you know how important it is to create a healthy parent-child relationship, let’s learn some ways in which you can do so:
1) Start even before the child arrives
The mother of the child develops a bond with the child even before it is born. The father flourishes the bond as soon as the kid arrives. Even before the child is born, you have to start preparing to be parents. Set your priorities right, make all the necessary lifestyle changes, and set a schedule where you spend most of your time with your kid. It is very crucial to give complete attention to a kid during his infancy to toddler age.
2) Be available
Nothing makes children feel worse than seeing their parents being unavailable for them. Your kid will always look up to you from the very beginning to feel safe and secure. Make sure you are invariably available to them. Do not make excuses to miss their school functions or ceremonies. Make them a priority.
3) Eat meals together
It may sound very cinch, but eating meals together is an essential step in a healthy parenting process. Mealtime is the best time when families converse, discuss their days, and share their thoughts. Make it a habit from the very beginning, even if however busy a person is, they have to take out time to eat dinner together.
4) Trust your child
Getting too involved and interfering too much in their life will lead to distance between you guys. You need to trust your kids, their activities, and more importantly, you have to trust your given morals. If you know you have raised the child right, then there’s no need to blame them now and then. Also, your child should trust you equally. Being trustworthy is very important. If your child trusts you with their secrets, then it is your responsibility of not breaking their trust.
5) Parenting counseling
Even if you have tried all you could, but could not build a good parent-child relationship, then you should try parenting counseling. This counseling will help you learn how to raise your child in the best manner. Many times people don’t have a clue about how to raise a child and steadily feel their relations getting sour. If you are going through the same, then parenting counseling will help you tremendously. The counselor will understand your situation, expectations, and then will guide you to form a healthy relationship.
Final thoughts
Parenting is hard and can sometimes even get to your nerves. When you see your child becoming the person you never wanted them to, it makes you doubt your efforts. A healthy parent-child relationship is to be formed in the very initial stages and should be carried throughout life. It may take longer than you expect, but upbringing is a very gratifying job. If you try your best now, you shall see the rewards later, and then you won’t deplore any part of the parenting process.
- By Life Coach Ritu Singal
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Have you ever felt confused?
Have you ever asked yourself “What I’m doing here”?
Am I on the right path?
Will the things done by me lead me to achieve the goal of my life?
Time is running very fast. Time does not have hair at his backside thus we cannot pull it back once it is passed. On the other hand, work to be done and tasks are many. We often waste our time doing unwanted things that are taking us away from our goal.
It is called sleepwalking when you try to do so many things together and none of them is going to serve your purpose. It’s a sheer waste of time and energy. Ritu Singal says that one has to fix his or her goal and outline the priorities of life first, to live a meaningful and happy life.
I have a very interesting story to help you understand the concept-
Once a very interesting person came to her. His name was John and he wanted to become a successful film producer. As he saw the successful people around him, he used to note their routines and activities. He saw that some people used to work for 12 hours a day and even 7 days a week. To copy them he too started working day and night. He indeed got success and started getting films but not as much as he desired. The rate of progress was slow despite the number of efforts he had put upon it. Also, he was feeling depressed and restless. He was not at all happy.
After listening to his story and knowing about his hobbies and routine it was discovered that he was a family loving person who used to love time with his family. But due to work stress, he started to ignore them. To sum up he had ignored the priority of his life- His family and relations. This made him incomplete and was the biggest hurdle in his success.
She advised him to fix the priorities of his life and do the things which makes him happy and take him closer to his goal and asked him to spend some time with his family too apart from working. Now he started living a balanced life. He spent family time as well as worked with full dedication for the rest of the time.
As a result, his business flourished and he became a very successful and famous film producer. He not only achieved what he wanted but was happy from the heart. He was now a confident man who lived the life he desired because he was able to set a line of priorities that run parallel with the achievement of his target.
First of all, let’s start with
What is a Goal?
The goal is the desire or the ultimate aim of your life. It is remarked as the destination for which you are going to work and run for the next part of your life. It is the target at which we have to point our proverbial arrow.
After setting the goal the next step is fixing the priorities of life so that you can achieve your target as soon as possible as desired.
What is the priority?
A priority is anything which is always given the first number in our to-do list. The act which takes us closer to our target. The priority is such that it helps you walk on the desired path that helps you take to the destination you always wished.
“A priority is the concern, interest or desire that comes before all others.”
Management of time becomes easier If you have defined priorities clearly. We have so many things to do that at the end of the day we end messed up and confused. Priorities in life are different from person to person and can be related to any aspect of life like social, work or relationships.
Priorities help to outline our day to day tasks and activities. IT makes life simpler and fixes what should be done and what has to be ignored. It thus helps in decision making. If your vision is clear your words and action will be always supportive.
A man who has not yet fixed his priorities and goal is bound to do contradictory things that are valueless. Through this article, I would like to help you recognize your goal and setting priorities.
What is the difference between goal and priority?
A goal is an ultimate milestone that everyone wants to achieve. Thus, the goal is a long term target that a person strives for. Whereas priority is ranking the activities of your life following their importance. This makes us more focused and accountable. Also, we feel so satisfied and happy in realizing that we are making progress towards our goal. Thus, Goal is a bigger term- a tangible result which can be achieved by a dedicated and focused person who has fixed his priorities rightly and is thus living a happy life from within as well.
You may be wondering why is setting priority so important?
Priorities help to:
-Make the correct decision of what has to be done and what not
-Live a meaningful life that has an aim and as well as a process to achieve the aim.
-Achieve goals
-Build self-confidence
-Set an example of how to live a balanced and happy life
We often feel frustrated and complain of feeling low or disheartened. Life coach says that it happens when your subconscious mind is not happy with the things going on in your life. Due to the lack of knowledge, we are not able to listen to our subconscious mind.
How to prioritize work when everything’s important?
List of Priorities
When we start working on a goal but forget the real priorities of our life we often become restless and depressed. Thus we need to set our priorities and then work on our goal so that we can give up our 200% for the achievement of the desired result. Now I would like to illustrate some types of priorities so that you can get a more clear picture of this concept. Here is a list of priorities –
- Family: A family is like the backbone of your life. No family life and no love always makes a man feel incomplete and restless. Family is needed to share your happiness as well as your sorrows and nobody else can better support you then your family. Family always has to rank first in the list of your priorities. One who Is blessed with the love of family will surely feel real happiness and success.
A man bad at his home and relations often ends up depressed and all messed up.
- Friends: They are not a part of our biological family but they are no less important to us. A friend in need is a friend indeed is an old but true saying. They act as great motivators and mood busters. They help us take a break from our busy lives which is very important to regenerate energy. For some people, friendship is above all relations and they can do anything for their friends. They hold their friends on priority.
- Aim of your life: set a mission and be very desperate about it. Fix your activities and habits such that they are in perfect sync with your aim. You ought to prioritize things and people who help you achieve your aim. As time is limited and we need to do much to achieve our goal one has to be focussed and serious. Wasting time on not so important things can make you regret your whole life.
- Money: I heard once “ Money can’t buy you happiness, but it buys you a car to sit in and weep” !! Very true. Money is very important to fulfil the basic amenities of life and live the desired life. Some people have the aim to become a millionaire and have all the luxuries of life. So it differs from person to person. Money should not be everything but it is an important thing without which life is impossible. How much priority is given to money depends upon the mindset and desire of the person. Social security and safe future are very important for a satisfied and confident life
- Health: Even if you have achieved your goal it is of no importance if you do not have good health to enjoy its benefits. Thus a fit and healthy body are very important. It is very crucial as bad health robs all your happiness and hampers your productivity as well. It is very important to be energetic and active. One must prioritize the health and indulge in exercises, yoga, Meditation and a nutritious diet
- Fun: “all work no play make Jack a dull boy”
Thus monotonous and boring life is a sin. Everyone must have a factor in his or her life. This keeps the spirit of happiness and liveliness alive. Too much fun may stop your growth but enjoyment in balanced amounts is important for a happy and healthy life and thus ultimately in the achievement of the set targets. If you are fresh; you can better focus on your targets and the means to achieve them. Therefore must be given someplace in the priority ranking tool.
The personal priority of everyone is different and one has to fix them accordingly. Here I would try to enumerate what should be done to choose priorities
How to choose life priorities?
Vision: Firstly get a clear vision of
What do you want to achieve?
Where do you see yourself after a few years?
Firstly set a goal of what you are longing for. Exercises like Meditation and listening to the intellects can best help you in making a clear picture of your desired future.
- Make a list: Make a list of things you do regularly. See what is your routine and sort out things which you feel are important and must be done regularly to make you feel satisfied and happy.
- Categorize: Divide the activities of your routine into subheads like- family, friends, personal, health and wellness.
- Choose: Out of the categories you have made above, Choose the areas you want to concentrate upon. This choice must be based on-
What helps you achieve your target?
What gives you happiness and satisfaction from within?
Move ahead: After deciding what is important i.e. what are your priorities; you can now focus on your target. Eliminate the steps of your routine which are a time waste and take you away from your real happiness. Concentrate your priorities and forget the rest. Say “No” to anything that is not in the list of your priority chart. This will help you to manage life better.
In this era of competition doing the right things rightly at the right time is of utmost importance for sustainable and long term growth.
To conclude
Ritu Singal is a well-balanced and very successful lady. She has achieved name and fame in not only the business front but is a very good mother and a very good motivational speaker too. All this was possible because of the focus. Clear vision and life priorities go hand in hand.
Live a life such that you can set an example for everyone. Become an epitome of success and glory. All this is possible only if you have sketched the blueprint of your life which clearly defines the goal and the priorities. Recognizing the priorities of life and living a meaningful life is the key to success and happiness of a person.
Don’t be a mess and do everything worth it, there are short term and long term goals as well. All can be achieved easily is one is balanced and has a vivid thought process. An active and fresh mind with a great idea is the reason for the success of all successful personalities. Whether it is family or friends or work, be the best. Fix your priorities and strive to achieve whatever you want.
- By Life Coach Ritu Singal
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Many of you have felt the sudden rush in your mind and a numbing feeling at the same time, usually in the morning when you wake up or just before you are about to punch out for the day at the office or just before an important meeting.
The rush is your brain working overtime to find excuses to justify why you are late again or why you didn’t finish the assigned tasks or why you prepared aren’t.
The numbness is because you don’t have a justifiable and rational answer for the question “Why didn’t you do it?” or “you are late for the fifth time this month, and it is only the 20th!”
Do you wonder why many of your co-workers and friends are never late for work or meetings and are also prepared when they arrive? They don’t leave anything on their desks unfinished when they call it a day.
When your co-worker wakes up at, say, 5.30 in the morning, she has more time to look after herself and her family. She can go for a walk or do Yoga or only workout. She is in no rush to have a healthy breakfast with her family in a pleasant setting.
She can shower leisurely, dress nicely and neatly, and pick her favorite coffee on the way to the office and read the day’s important news on the ride. She also has time to plan and prioritize her work for the day and recheck her schedule to bring it together.
For you, it is more like that you wake up wholly dizzy and short of sleep even at 8 or 8.30 am because you were binge-watching the new web-series till late last night or, should one say early morning? Your head is clogged and spinning due to lack of sleep, you are irritable, can’t shave properly, and can’t even find a proper dress.
Your irritation shoots when you see that your breakfast isn’t ready, and you have to make do with biscuits and cookies again. In your rush to office, you jump the light, are pulled over by the traffic police officer, pay the fine, and make it in the time you are late again.
Solution: Routine
Have you noticed there is only one difference between your friend and you? And it’s not intelligence or skills. It’s called THE ROUTINE.
Following a routine means, you know how to prioritize and don’t want to complicate your life. Because of repetition, they are powerful and answer the question of how to plan better.
When the famous martial artist and actor Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” He referred to the power of practice and following the routines of daily exercise.
Life Coach notes that with a routine, our brains start working on autopilot, like:
Step 1: You associate things and events as a cue for doing something else.
Step 2: Execution. When you do the task, you reach a milestone in the daily routine. This leads to further cues and actions, all automatically.
Step 3: Collect the benefits of routine with more tasks complete as you go ahead.
Peers and bosses appreciate your co-worker, and you are scolded because of following a schedule. She has a daily schedule for success, while you have the perfect recipe for disaster.
Life Coach has great daily planning tips to help you get out of the chaotic mold and set up and follow a routine for yourself. She has coached many students and executives to set up their daily plan for success.
Ritu Singal breaks down the question of “how to plan your day effectively” into a few simple building blocks and helps you put them together. When you learn how to plan better, you have won half of all the battles.
She says building a success routine or learning how to schedule your day effectively must be divided into parts. When we split, it sees things in isolation, and as just this one thing to do.
Morning Routines
Setting up your morning routine is of prime importance as it will affect everything. This will be your first lesson in how to plan better and create a way for success.
A little discipline and following the routine on day one will have a cascading effect on your entire day, week, and even life.
Your morning routines can include meditation or jogging. She suggests, regardless of what you do, the following daily planning tips to start your day:
- Rise Early: All, well almost all, high achievers rise early and prepare for the day ahead. They can think clearly and plan while everyone else is fast asleep. Apple CEO Tim Cook, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Indra Nooyi, and Richard Branson are all early risers. Even if they have late-night flights or meetings, they have trained themselves to wake up early to disturb the routine. It helps in increased productivity, greater creativity, and more “me” time.
- Make Your Bed: A simple yet powerful task. And day’s first achievement! The mind needs continuous doses of the accomplishments for self-encouragement. So even such ‘small’ tasks completed can start making a difference in attitude. Also, as Ritu Singal often says, small things in life matter more as they are many. If you start celebrating and acknowledging them, you will do the more important things right.
- Positive Affirmations: Life Coach insists actively designed and written affirmations, if repeated daily with conviction, have the power to rewrite the coding of your brain and alter your psyche. She suggests simple affirmations: I love and accept myself as I am, without judgment; I have strength, courage, and clarity of purpose; I attract opportunities that create more money; I make a difference at my work and my work.
- Healthy Routine:This includes daily exercise or Yoga, meditation, morning walk, cold showers, and a healthy breakfast with fruits. Their simple things have a transformative effect than many of the fancy and expensive items in your life.
In doing all these, you get to know yourself better, come closer to your inner self, and have a clear mind with a healthy body to face the day’s rigors.
Day Planning
During the day, there are many things that you can plan and set in your schedule or adjust them. These can be meetings, paying bills, servicing cars, maintenance at home, attending a wedding, or anything. You can have a separate office and personal planners, or you can have a typical planner. You may use online and mobile apps to schedule your day and make appointments, or you can have a daily diary to take notes in.
Life Coach says that whatever the medium is, the message is essential and prepared and stick to the routine.
- Create a Daily Plan:Create a daily plan at least 1 to 2 days in advance so that you have enough time to think through all factors. The blanks can be filled in the night before, and some room left for contingencies.
Please make special note of appointments, team, place, and time and never make anyone wait for you; it’s impolite. Schedule some ‘me’ time within a planner even during the day, like office walking or stretching.
- Prioritize:Identify your top 2-3 priorities and get them done to help the whole team move forward. This will also help your team prioritize their work. Be realistic and practical and always leave the room of unforeseen events.
Evening Routines for Tomorrow
Reflect and plan. With a night-time routine, you prepare for the next morning, taking its shoulders’ burden.
- Prepare Goals: Finding the most critical daily aims allows you to identify essential tasks in advance and allows your brains to process them while you are asleep. You may, in the subconscious, come up with a brilliant strategy to solve a pending issue.
- Reflection:Every moment in life is a learning opportunity, and in life’s hullabaloo, we miss them. When we reflect on the day gone by, even for 5 minutes, we will find many instances where we could have done better or not done anything. Evening reflections are like running daily “spell-check.”
- Clear your head: It is like tuning yourself out of the world and tuning into yourself. You should be with yourself when going to bed, as in your sleep only you exist! Emptying the head helps you put aside the challenges and relax like a baby.
You can meditate, read something light, and listen to light classical music, or go for a walk to clear your head.
Conclusion
According to Life coach, it can be challenging to build routines in the beginning. It takes active willpower, support, and coaching to design and execute a realistic way.
The best news about routines is that they become easier to follow with repetition until they become a habit.
It is generally said that it takes 21 days for a habit to set in, and a routine intends to change many old practices. So, according to Ritu Singal, daily routine monitoring and follow-up is necessary at least for 6-8 weeks for them to solidify to the extent of becoming habits.
Initially, it may seem to be uncomfortable, tedious, and boring. But with each day, you’ll see small and large problems in your life start disappearing, and you will have more time to give to yourselves.
If you make a checklist and pass it in your room, wardrobe, in your briefcase, as desktop wallpaper and set as an alarm on mobile, you’ll have many visible and active cues to bring you back from any diversion from the routine.
So, what’s your routine for tomorrow?
- By Life Coach Ritu Singal
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Throughout the day, we face many situations, some good, some bad, and some extremely challenging. We train our minds, and we decide that we won’t react badly to anything in life. We decide, we remember, but as soon as we face the situation, we react in the same old way. When asked, we say, “The situation made me do this, I cannot control the situations”.
Well, it is somehow true. You cannot control the situations, you cannot determine and pre-plan the challenges you might face, but what you can do is, attain clarity of mind.
Ritu Singal remembers an incident where once a young man came to her for counseling. He was well-settled and accomplished, yet he somehow felt unhappy. She asked him what exactly he feels.
To this, he said, “I feel I can accomplish anything in life, but I cannot control my thoughts, and it gets disturbing at times. I feel I don’t know what I want. My mind is always full of thoughts.”
Being an experienced life coach, she soon realized what he was looking for was within him, but somehow he was not aware of it. She told him that no matter what he has achieved in life, it is worthless if his mental state is not good.
She asked him to slow down for a few days. Maybe take a break from work or explore old hobbies that he had somehow lost in the process of becoming successful.
She quotes that within two sessions, the smile she saw on his face was priceless. She asked him if he was happy now and he said, “All I needed was just clarity, clarity of mind, clarity of thoughts, and clarity of who I am, and what I am looking for!”
You see, this is how we have made simple things of life complicated just because of our thoughts. These thoughts keep our minds foggy throughout the day. All we need is to clear our minds, and you’ll see how everything seems simple.
Mental Clarity
Mental clarity means different to different people. In simple words, we can say the clarity of mind is nothing but the act of cleaning your mind of the clutter of uncontrolled thoughts. It is the process of removing mental noise or unwanted thoughts to develop a clear, positive, and organized mind.
Signs That You Require Mental Clarity
Are you confused, whether or not you require clarity of mind? Look out for these signs in your daily living to find out.
- Do you read the same paragraph again and again because you continuously lose focus?
- You constantly question yourself seeking the answer to what you are doing.
- You start a project with zeal but get lost midway and do not want to complete it.
- You pick up your phone to make a call, but after 1 hour you realize you forgot to make the call.
- Are you unable to finish your tasks because you do not know how to prioritize your work?
Let us tell you, you are not the only one. Most people go through all these situations daily. All you need is the focus and mental clarity.
Why is mental clarity important?
Many people ask this question that they are doing everything the same way from so long, why do they even need mental clarity! Here we have listed some reasons why mental clarity is crucial:
- Clarity of mind removes doubt
If a person continuously thinks about things that do not benefit them in any way, then a point comes when people start doubting themselves. This thought of doubting self-worth is deadly. If you have a clear mind, you will not have time to think about these things. With a clear and focused mind, you won’t heed much attention to such thoughts.
- It increases awareness
Once you get out of the world that you have created in your head, you will become more aware. And by awareness, we mean aware of yourself, your surroundings, and aware of each thought that crosses your mind. With perfect awareness, your decision making will be hastened. You will know about opportunities and problems in advance, and you’ll know how to handle them.
- You will learn to prioritize work
The biggest setback of not having a clear mind is not prioritizing work. A person who does not have clarity of mind will not be able to know how to prioritize their day to day tasks. It can lead to extra hours of work because you were not clear about what work was important and whatnot. By mental clarity, you will be able to make efficient to-do lists.
- You will find peace of mind
Isn’t peace of mind what we have been looking for everywhere? How will we be able to find peace and joy in life if our thoughts are not filtered? A foggy mind cannot create a tranquil environment for you to live in. For living peacefully, you need to remove the clutter of thoughts that are not benefiting you in any way.
- One can gain focus
In today’s time, everyone is so much occupied that they have completely lost focus. It has become very common, from kids to adults; people cannot concentrate on one thing at a time. Do you know why this happens? It is because physically we are performing one task, while mentally we are somewhere else. Maybe we are planning what we’ll do next or thinking about what someone said to us. With such a lack of focus, no task can be given 100 % effort. Mental clarity will help you gain focus in life.
How to get mental clarity?
Most of the time, people already know they need to declutter their thoughts but don’t know the method to do it.
A lot of clients ask counselors, “How can I improve my mental clarity”? To which they believe that, even if you have thought about improving your mental health, you have already taken the first step.
Here are a few methods of how you can get clarity of mind:
1) Start with mindfulness practice:
Throughout our day, we make multiple efforts to keep our physical body fit, but what about mental health? To start with, start practicing a mindfulness practice daily. Take out just 10-15 minutes a day for meditation. Meditation will help you in numerous ways. According to scientific research, meditation is known to help a person gain focus.
2.) Assess your mental focus in advance:
Before you start any task or job assigned to you, make sure you have gained complete focus. Let yourself know for how much time it has to be done and how it is to be done. Starting a task already and then planning things will only distract you and will lead to extra consumption of time. Check your focus, and once you feel you are completely attentive, and then you may start the task.
3) Avoid multitasking:
We know in today’s fast speed world, we want to acquire a lot in a short period. Instead of doing 4 tasks together, you can set them according to the requirements and then plan a schedule where you complete all four tasks but one at a time. This method works tremendously. You will be able to complete your work with full efficiency and on time.
4) Remove distractions:
The prime reason for losing focus is a work desk filled with distractions. For example, suppose you are working on a project which you have to complete within 3 hours. While working, a message pops on the screen, you pick your phone to check, and after 30-45 minutes you realize you had to finish work. Isn’t this what happens with almost everyone? Experts suggest to their clients that in order to perform a task with focus, you firstly need to remove all the distractions around you.
5) Try activated Vitamin B:
A deficiency of vitamin B12 is known to cause mental fogginess, or inability to focus. The nervous system requires this vitamin for its proper functioning. If you feel you are unable to gain focus in your daily activities or that your mind is always full of thoughts always distracting you then, taking vitamin B12 can be helpful.
6) Proper rest:
People have created a very busy lifestyle these days. The sleep pattern of most people is quite irregular. Sleeping at 3 A.M and waking at 10 A.M creates a lot of overwhelming thoughts throughout a day. If you feel tired or restless, leave your work, and take a nap. Taking a nap will help you gain better focus and clarity of mind.
7) Take short breaks from work:
Sometimes, we do not even realize how long we sit and work continuously. In such cases, a point comes when we lose focus and are unable to do the task as efficiently as you were doing it before. It is because of mental exhaustion. When you feel this way, instead of trying harder and harder, just take a break. You can have a cup of tea or coffee or maybe meditate for a few minutes. Now when you’ll sit back to work, your brain will be more active, and you’ll get fresh ideas.
8) Regular Exercise:
Giving out some part of the day to exercise is a great investment. You can do exercises as simple as a brisk walk, jogging, to push-ups, and planks. Doing regular exercise is the first step of showing devotion towards your own body. Your health comes before anything, and so from today, make time for exercise.
9) Minimize focus while working:
Most people try to do many things together. For example, you might be working on a report while listening to your favorite playlist. There’s nothing wrong with doing so, but it decreases your work efficiency. You might get distracted when your favorite song comes along; wasting your 4-5 minutes followed by another and another, and before you know, you have already lost 30 minutes! Try to maintain focus by removing such distractions. It is believed that one should take less time for doing work by dedicating full attention to it, and then you can take a break and relax.
10) Yoga:
Yoga is by far the most effective and proven way of helping a person get clarity of mind. Yoga is not just an exercise for physical health but also mental health. You can try poses like Child-pose, Mountain-pose, deep breathing, and Tree pose. These poses not only improve mental health but also help in gaining focus.
Throughout the day, we face many situations, some good, some bad, and some extremely challenging. We train our minds, and […]
- By Life Coach Ritu Singal
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Self Affirmations That Will Change Your Life
Our beliefs become our thoughts.
Our thoughts become our words.
Our words become our actions.
Our actions become our habits.
Our habits become our character.
And, our character defines our destiny.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
You are what you think! Yes, really you are, and you become what you think. You and only you can
shape your own destiny.
Life is a manifestation of your thoughts and your words. You cannot rely only on thoughts, though, and
have to translate into specific aims, so that actions can be taken to meet them.
The objectives become clear and specific if you choose correct words and put them in a correct manner.
Using the right words that stimulate our energies and emotions to give our one hundred percent and
achieve them is very important.
Vague, obscure and undecisive objectives like, “I want to be the smartest person” or “I want to
complete my research” are not going to cut it!
Being careful with words, especially about oneself, therefore is important and crucial. If you continue to
blame yourselves for everything that is wrong in your lives, you will be responsible, always.
Life Coach mentions an incident involving a client who was very unsuccessful in all relationships he had
been into since his adolescent years. This person was led to believe that he was responsible for the
death of his mother who had died giving him birth in a complicated caesarean delivery.
He used to blame himself if his friends were angry or his girlfriend did not call him or even his elder
brother would not support him.
He enrolled for “The Incredible You” program offered by a renowned Life Coach recommended to him
by a close friend. She uses a number of tests and methods to find why someone is surrounded with
negativity, was it because of any defining moment in their lives, and help them realize their impact on all
aspects of their lives.
Ritu Singal uses many techniques throughout ten sessions to make sure the affirmations, that the client
forms, are not forgotten in a few days’ or weeks’ time. The rewiring of the brain and coding of the
thoughts to move in an almost reverse direction is painstaking but always worth it.
With help of these scientific tools she managed to first diagnose what were the root causes of his
depression and then develop a new coding for him to follow.
This helped him to trust her, develop his own affirmations and clear his mind to say those magic words
to himself everyday alone in the room, out loud to himself.
By speaking those magic words, and practicing a few other tools learnt from her, to himself, he became
self-assured and confident. The next friend he made has proved to be a true one who has supported him
in his thick and thin, for more than a decade.
The client tells, has had a steady relationship with a lady for the last six years, and his relationship with
his brother also healed.
You must be wondering what the magic words were, or the mantra, that she gave to this client. Actually,
she gave him three simple, yet very powerful positive self-affirmations:
● I love and accept myself as I am, without judgment.
● I forgive myself/name of relation/friend] and set myself free.
● I deserve to be happy and I choose to be happy, now and forever.
Ritu Singal asked the client to repeat these affirmations looking into the mirror in his own eyes and do it
with all the conviction and inner strength.
At first, the client seemed to be confused and even thought he was telling a lie to himself. But he kept
going as he believed in her. In a few days’ time, he felt the difference in his attitude towards life and
people around him. And a couple of weeks it was noticeable to others.
And, after a few weeks he had a few colleagues invite him over for hanging out after the office. For the
first time ever!
This shows that what we say, to ourselves and to others, means a lot and has a real impact on our lives.
We must be incredibly careful with our words and speak only those that benefit us.
The Importance of Positive Affirmations
If you are constantly told “you can’t” or you yourself think "I can't", then it would be your destiny to be a
failure everywhere and every time.
Many реорlе do not achieve their potential and goals bесаuѕе they cannot give “words” to their dreams
and ambitions.
Life Coach understands that people hold on to the self-defeating bеlіеfѕ and prejudices about
themselves that their parents, family, friends, teachers and others have repeatedly hammered into their
psyche.
To realise your ambitions and achieve your goals you need to have the conviction and courage to
confront and change those limiting beliefs.
To keep moving ahead and to develop a sense of purpose you regularly need to motivate yourself, as
not too many people are out there who would do that for you.
Therefore, she suggests, always keep a list of positive affirmations and read them aloud to yourself
every day, every time you get time or need for support.
She suggests the best and most firm shoulder you can get for support is your own!
Every time you use affirmation statements for success, for confidence, for relationships, or any other life
goal, they give you clarity and objectivity to approach things with a fresh perspective.
How do Daily Affirmations Work?
Self-affirmations direct our actions and habits until they become deeply ingrained in us. Daily positive
affirmations rewire our brains in such a manner that we start believing that everything is possible.
This belief is a very strong force and is behind most of the great discoveries in the world, from the
discovery of the Americas by Columbus to the Apollo 11 mission that put the first man on the moon.
Affirmations strengthen our resolve and help us believe in ourselves. Affirmation statements empower
us with a deep sense of reassurance that our dreams will come true.
At first, one may wonder how self-affirmations, which seems to be border-line narcissistic and self-
indulgent, can be right and how do they affect our destinies.?
If you have a concise list of positive affirmations for yourself, then you need to repeat them aloud daily,
regularly, and consistently for effecting the changes you look for.
These self-affirmations have the ability to prevent уоu from harming yourself, and nurture you to
become a better version of yourself with each day.
With the help of affirmations, it is possible to reprogram your brain and erase deep rooted conditionings
and write new habits that are empowering.
How to Make a List of Positive Affirmations?
The daily affirmations act as a check dam for the flood of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. To wash
away the slush of negativity, you need to continually supply the freshwater of the new reality you want
to create.
The following guidelines, from Life Coach’s toolbox, can help you make your own list of positive
affirmations that suit you best.
1. First, find the area in life where you want to make a positive change – self-worth, spirituality,
health, business, employment, relationships, etc. you will make 2-3 most important affirmations
for this area in your life.
2. Always start with “I am.” The most powerful words show your resolve that you ARE in the new
reality you want to create; it is no more a dream.
3. Make use of present tense and tell yourself “IT IS”.
4. Never say what you don’t want in life, instead stick with the positive, what you want in it or
from it. Affirmation is a positive statement, nevertheless.
5. Shorter and simpler, sweeter and more effective. Our subconscious brains are the same as that
of a child or a caveman. Simpler and shorter ideas have more strength.
6. Don’t be vague or confused and make it very specific.
7. Try including an action word in present continuous tense ending in “ing”.
8. Include an emotion or a feeling to make it appealing to the heart. Things closer to heart last
longer.
9. Finally, make your own affirmations, do not imitate others. After all, you have to live your life
and create your own new reality.
An Example list of positive affirmations
Here are some specific daily positive affirmations covering some important aspects of one’s life. In no
way this is a comprehensive list nor is it taken and used as it is.
This list is only given to give you an idea and a start to help you make your own self-affirmations. The
affirmations here are categorized into some broad areas where most people find themselves lacking and
are based on the decades of experience of the Life Coach.
1. Success and Confidence
a. Abundance and success are all around me
b. I acknowledge my self-worth; my confidence is climbing
c. I am a source of power
d. I am unbreakable
e. I am confident in my ability to
f. I am do not fear anyone and I stand up for myself
g. I am the writer of my life’s destiny
h. I am in control of my life’s journey
i. I will put to use my talents today to realize my place
j. I have all the qualities needed to be successful
k. I have strength, courage and clarity of purpose
2. Health
a. With each day I am getting stronger, faster and healthier
b. I am defeating my illness steadily each day
c. I am full of energy and vitality
d. I deserve to be healthy and feel good
e. I trust my body and listen to the signals that it sends me
f. I reach perfect health by having nutrition and exercise
g. My body is healthy; my mind is gifted; my soul is calm
3. Self, Life and the World
a. I am full of love and compassion that wash away my anger
b. I am always happy as it is my second nature
c. Everything that happens, happens for my good
d. Happiness is a choice, and I choose to be happy always
e. I love and accept myself as I am, without judgment.
f. I forgive and set myself free.
g. I deserve to be happy and I choose to be happy, now and forever
h. The world is full of wonderful and inspiring things for me to appreciate
i. I am grateful to everyone who has ever come in my life
4. Relationships, Marriages and Family
a. My marriage is becoming stronger and full of mutual love each day
b. I am grateful for an incredible family and wonderful friends
c. I find love and romance in my life
d. I am in a loving, caring and understanding relationship
e. I am loved, loving and lovable
5. Business and/or Money
a. I am a successful businessperson
b. I am worthy of making and enjoying more money
c. I attract opportunities that create more money
d. I have a great relationship with my employees
e. My employees love and respect me
f. My decisions and actions create lasting wealth
g. My business is growing and expanding
6. Employment and Work-life
a. I deserve to be paid well for my time, efforts, and talents
b. I am good at my job
c. I make a difference at my work and with my work
d. I achieve my work goals in time, always
e. My co-workers look up to me for help and inspiration
f. I am improving as a professional with each day
g. I have confidence in my skills and talents
h. I let go of my work stress and tensions
i. I am balanced during stressful situations and crisis
Conclusion
According to the life coach, the above list is indicative and if you find anyone on-point for yourself, then
go ahead and use them.
Or you can create your own daily affirmations based on the guidelines and examples given earlier. The
most important need is that you need to say them with conviction and believe in them when you say
them.
The affirmations you choose and pick, must resonate with you and must really make a difference to your
life.
Self Affirmations That Will Change Your Life Our beliefs become our thoughts. Our thoughts become our words. Our words become […]
