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“All happy families are alike but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”    – Leo Tolstoy

However, it looks like he was not exactly alright as there are many common issues that families face. Our family situation may appear to be unique, but the fact is, millions of families around the world confront similar, if not identical, problems. While these problems may look overwhelming, with knowledge, patience, dedication and a willingness to evolve solutions, all such problems can be worked through.

Family problems come in myriad shapes, impact the entire family dynamics and shape our family relationships. All families deal with relationship problems at times. But the ways the family members cope with these issues provides a framework for family dynamics and sets the tone for family life.

How to Solve Family Problems- Some General Do’s

The idea of family may be on the downhill in many societies globally. But it has stood the test of time for millennia despite the many ills plaguing it. We know family is our life, that’s all we crave for whenever in trouble or need of support. Our family laughs and cries with us and is ever ready to support us in need.

Of course, no way does it mean that families are just perfect and don’t have problems. There are some common threads in a majority of family problems, which warrant resolution for a happy family life. 

Try to

1. Foster an environment of sharing
2. Accept that there is a problem
3. Get down to the basic issue, forget about its outer manifestations and symptoms
4. Save your relationships, forget anger, ego and individual pride
5. Get some professional help, if you are unable to work it through on your own
6. Take good care of yourself

Forging a family culture of openness, trust, communication and security and a willingness to resolve family issues, can go a long way in improving relationships and maintaining positive family dynamics.

How to Solve Family Problems – Some Common Features

Families face many problems – large and small and include arguments, miscommunication, and misunderstandings. They may also involve addictions, financial problems, mental illness, grief, illnesses and divorce. Sometimes, such issues exist between only two family members, while others can involve the entire family. Issues like grief over the demise of a loved one are there for all to see, other problems may be more subtle – a child not coming out openly or a wife, who is an unhappy married woman.

Frequently, family issues are rooted in underlying causes, which may not look apparent but their impact may spread throughout the family. Such conflicts are especially potent in a child’s life, who carry them over into adult lives and future family relationships.

Environment of Sharing

The issue of how to solve family problems needs to be addressed with basic understanding that families are built on relationships, which are strengthened with healthy communication. An environment of sharing is the foundation for healthy communication. The family members should feel safe in order to share their feelings and their problems. From a parental viewpoint, it means letting your child share their viewpoint without the fear of judgment or punishment. A child also needs to feel certain that they will be taken seriously. Such a child can talk comfortably about difficult/emotional issue like mental health, identity, anxiety, or substance abuse. They are more likely to open up while struggling with a situation or making a difficult decision. This is equally true of other family relationships, too, between siblings and between a couple.

An environment of sharing can be fostered by:

1. Listening

Experts on marriage and family counseling list it at the top while talking of the Dos for a strong family bond. Listen to the other one before reacting. Ask if your advice is welcome and if it is not, let it go and follow up later.

Share your own feelings as sometimes, things may not be obvious to others. Sharing your feelings without blaming can bring up new viewpoints and perspectives.

While sharing your perspective, present it as your perspective and not the facts.

 Recognize others’ experiences. Telling others how they should feel discourages sharing.

Be human

Admit your mistakes and make others comfortable while admitting their own mistakes.

Be the Change

We are all influenced by people. Try to be the change you want to see in others by modelling healthy ways of expressing emotions.

Do it together

Marriage and family counseling experts believe that the families that spend time together develop a closeness that encourages open communication and sharing. Try to explore interests, sports or other family activities. Activities that involve going out are very fulfilling and stimulate future conversations and closer relationships. Sharing sets the stage for solving and preventing family problems.

Acknowledge the Problem

Sometimes family problems arise from a lack of closeness while some problems involve something serious like abuse. Whatever be the case, acknowledging that there is a problem is the first step in fixing it. Ignoring such issues and pretending as if everything were fine are unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The lack of such acknowledgment can exacerbate the existing issues, trigger negative situations, and culminate in damaging behavior like lashing out, aggressive arguments, substance abuse, or violence. Acknowledging a problem enables positive action to fix the situation, and may avert unhealthy coping mechanisms that can create negative situations.

Many times, people avoid discussing these problems as such efforts in the past had only worsened the things. Therefore, they begin to believe in avoiding rather than fighting, which causes other side effects. In any case, feeling stuck is a sign that a third party is needed to resolve the problem.

Get down to the Deeper Issue

Once a problem has been acknowledged, we can try to identify its roots. The truth is, most family problems are just outwards symptoms of a deep-rooted problem, knowing which can paves the way for greater empathy among family members e.g.

Substance abuse

Users of alcohol or other substances often use it as a mechanism to escape from a difficult emotional situation like grief over the loss of a loved one, financial instability, marital conflict,  divorce, the pain of illness or other problems. Seeking help from a therapist can help break down the deeper issues that cause substance abuse and help them on the path to recovery.

 Stress, anxiety among children

Often, anxiety is triggered by an event and the stress that stems from it causes further anxiety, thereby making a cyclical pattern. The anxiety could be rooted in a social issue at school,  concern for a friend, feeling overwhelmed in school or struggling with a learning disorder. Children perceive much more and could be reacting to a parent’s passing comment like “We are running on a tight budget these days.” Talking to the child and maintaining trust with open communication encourages them to reveal the source of their anxiety.

Sometimes, bringing out the issue in the open is the only thing needed to resolve a problem. This important step helps develop a plan to resolve issues and encourage understanding within family relationships.

Focus on the Relationship – Leave behind anger and pride

Anger and pride feed negative emotions, hamper empathy, thwart open communication, damaging to individual mental health and are opposed to healthy family relationships. Holding on to them blocks the path to conflict resolution. They fuel stress, anxiety, and depression. However, letting go of these emotions can be difficult and painful. The fear of pain, vulnerability, or failure keeps a person from improving their family relationships.

Prioritize the goal of a happier relationship over being hurt or the fear of failure. Where a family problem exists, someone has already been hurt, which makes the fear of being hurt again even greater. But the potential for healing is real. Focusing on this potential, and letting go of  negative emotions opens the door to communication, healing and better mental health.

 Get Professional Help

Remember, therapy is for everyone; it isn’t reserved for the mentally sick or weak or those with emotional disorders. As humans, we need other humans to work through problems with us and therapy provides a safe environment for it with the support of a trained professional.

Therapists have special expertise gained through professional training. They help you talk about your family issues and develop strategies to resolve difficult situations. Therapy is safe and there is no risk of being judged or medicated.

Regarding the choice of a professional, it’s often good to seek a referral from a friend or family member or your family doctor.

 Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself and keeping good mental health is essential while solving family issues. Always keep in mind – positive family dynamics starts with a healthy self. Being healthy  allows you to let go of negative emotions, which paves the way for safe and open family communication and helps the family focus on relationships.

Common Family Problems

1. Conflicts

Disagreements and conflicts are part of family dynamics, which is especially true of egalitarian marriages and families wherein everyone is free to express opinions. These differences can easily escalate to arguments and conflicts, which potentially damage the family relationships and peace, if left unresolved. 

Arguments, per se, are not bad; they tend to promote independent thinking and reasoning, but the trouble arises when they slip out of hands. Do argue by all means but lay down certain rules and do not let your emotions overpower you as you may hurt others unintentionally.

Solution: 

1. Define the problem clearly and avoid generalizing the issue. For instance, if your spouse didn’t pick a glass lying on the bed today, do not say “You’ll never do that”. You know there has only been one such instance. 
2. Argue over the specific issue and do not bring out other past grouses, which is going to do no good. 
3. Focus on the solution instead of endlessly stretching the argument. If your spouse never presses the toothpaste tube from the bottom, it’s no fun arguing. Get two toothpastes, instead. Simple!
4. Focus on the why behind others’ behavior and if the disagreement is turning into a fight, have a time-out. Return to the topic whenever are back to normal.

2. Communication

Most arguments are caused by inadequate/ poor communication. Everyone needs the chance to explain themselves. Making assumptions regarding anyone is just not done. In order to strengthen family relationships, open communication deserves to be given great priority.

A big casualty of a disagreement/fight is the closure of communication channels, which worsens it.  So keep the lines of communication open. To do so, set aside your ego as it takes a big heart to be the first person to tackle a problem. Try to reach out first, however hard it is. 

* In case it doesn’t work out, an older family member can intervene mediate in a meeting. 

* Ignoring the problem will worsen it, leading to coldness. It’s better to express yourself at a suitable time. Raising a family problem at festival time isn’t a good idea.

* Avoid drinking before a tough family conversation as it can fuel emotions, which will hamper your thinking and block your conversation. 

* Many kids/teenagers hesitate to express for the fear of ridicule/ shame. Explain to the family that each one is welcome to express themselves openly. 

3. Work-Life Balance

The lack of a healthy work-life balance creates another common family conflict. Amidst both parents’ jobs/ businesses, ensuring a work-life balance can be tricky. But it is relatively easier to resolve as the balance is easily achieved with smart planning and slick execution. The key is creating clear boundaries between work and life so that the two don’t overlap to create conflicts.  

Spend time on yourself. With a better work-life balance, you’ll have a better focus and give due attention to work and family.

Solution: The best solution is – leave work at work and focus on family when off work. Delegate your tasks to avoid being overworked. 

4. Infidelity

Infidelity or cheating is being emotionally/physically unfaithful to a spouse and breaking a commitment/promise in the act. Around 1/4th of all marriages face infidelity, one of the biggest threats to marriages and families. Prevention is the best pre-emotive solution i.e. the partners commit to and nurture their relationship. 

Unfortunately, an extra-marital affair offers no painless solution as to rebuild the broken trust, one needs time and a commitment to change.

Solution: Working through the emotions of shock, anger and grief  takes time and effort as it’s important to give yourself space for all your feelings. Be assertive rather than being aggressive as anger causes rash decisions. Practice mindfulness and self-regulation to calm yourself and think rationally.

The cheating spouse must take full responsibility and need to be transparent and answer the other one’s questions. It can lead to an understanding of what went wrong and what needs to change. Though trust doesn’t return overnight, accepting responsibility can be a good start.

However, if things don’t work out, total separation is the only way out. It is a bitter pill that needs to be swallowed in cases where marital recovery is otherwise impossible. 

5. Money Matters 

Finances are big time stressors in a relationship, especially in times of financial stress. Arguments about money are common and important issues and need to be addressed on priority. The most important cause is a disagreement over the way people think about money management. If one spouse is a firm believer in penny-pinching while the other one a spendthrift, you can expect fireworks only. Therefore, sit down and discuss calmly how you will deal with income, expenditure, savings, insurance and investment. The spouses need basic financial literacy to understand and profit from money management and set out the priorities of how it is to be consumed. 

Solution: Create a monthly budget. In case of financial difficulties, cut back on unnecessary expenses and look for additional sources of income. Financial troubles can test a relationship hard and but with openness and sincerity, you can navigate tough times together.

6. Distance

Physical/emotional distance can extract a heavy toll and crate strain, especially if you have kids. Physical distance may be a compulsion due to one’s occupation. If you cannot do anything about the physical distance, think of nightly video chats, online games or watching movies online together.

For those looking to strengthen family relationships, it is import mat to understand that much more dangerous is the emotional distance despite physical proximity. It arises from a serious issue like mistrust or lack of communication, which leads to a lot less sharing.  

Solution: Talk it out honestly and transparently. Listen to each other’s perspectives and try to find a common ground. Try to accommodate the other person’s needs to save your relationship. 

7. Disagreements over parenting styles

Every parent has a different viewpoint about raising children, which is affected by their own upbringing. One cannot undo the past but if you disagree on parenting, talk it out. Discuss and try to understand their views on your parenting style.

Solution: If two spouses disagree over parenting styles, they need to make compromises and adjustments. However, if one parent’s style is toxic for the child, you need to convince them of its toxicity and make them come round to your viewpoint. 

8. Rebellious Children

Rebellious children test your patience and push you to limits. You certainly can teach them the consequences of their actions by setting a positive example of how you react to your emotions. If you are dealing with an angry teenager, listen to their grievances and discuss and offer them advice only if they ask for it. A child can learn many good things by making mistakes.

Unravelling the knots 

Family problems are painful. However, there are ways to prevent them  in the initial stages to restore peace. Life is too short to waste time on cultivating negativity towards your loved ones. 

1. Begin the discussion 
2. Go to the root 
3. Address the problem 

Beginning the Discussion 

1. Wait until you’re calm enough to discuss it. While arguing, wait until everyone is calm to keep it from becoming a full-blown feud. 

* While you’re upset /emotional, wait awhile, the emotion will subside somewhat and you’ll approach the issue logically.

* Approaching someone while you are angry heightens an already tough situation. Wait till tomorrow.

2. Deal in person

* Sending an email is the worst possible choice; it’s open to misinterpretation as there is no body language here, which conveys empathy and reduces pain.

* Pick up the phone or, better, meet in person. 

3. Admit faults

* Understand that family members have faults, but you can still love them.

* Accept your faults. Look at family issues not as all-or-nothing where someone is wrong and someone else right. Instead, perceive the gray areas. 

* Apologize even if you did nothing wrong.

* Avoid the blame game and use positive language. Stay away from negative language. 

* Avoiding judgmental words or name calling. Blaming others makes them defensive and counter attack you. 

* Don’t try to “win” the argument. Try to see two or more ways to see the point. 

* Maintain a calm, modulated tone. Explain calmly and methodically with empathy for others. Cool down the argument with, “I can see your point.”

4. Forgive 

* Forgive those who have wronged you, though difficult. 

* Forgiveness frees you from the corrosive fight. It’s about letting go of the past so that you build a healthier future.

* All humans are imperfect and need forgiveness. 

Getting to the roots 

1. Problem identification

Identify the problem by figuring out what’s going on. Perhaps one is facing health problems or personal problems. Consider the real issue so that you can address it better. 

* Don’t assume, find out what they think. Focus on causes, not symptoms. 

2. Ask 

* Dig out the root cause by asking questions rather than making statements.  

* Asking questions softens the conversation and draws out the truth.

* Ask open-ended questions to provoke them to elaborate and listen to them.

3. Recognize when to discuss

* A family conflict clearly indicates relationship problems. Some problems are caused by differences of opinion such as on cultural values. Other problems can be substance abuse, mental sickness, bullying, mistrust, finances, stress, sex and jealousy.

Addressing the problem 

* Compromising implies that you evolve a mutually acceptable solution to defuse/address a problem. 

* The first step is figuring out whether the problem is solvable. 

* Don’t talk to a family member when you’re distracted, on a project, or phone calls or the like. 

Prevention is the best cure

A sharing environment is the foundation of healthy communication. Family members need to feel safe while sharing feelings and discussing issues. A child must feel safe to share their viewpoint without any fear of judgment/punishment. Children who feel safe easily open up while struggling with a situation or making a difficult decision. This is also true of other family relationships.

Family counsellors recommend the following:

1. Listen         
2. Be willing to share your feelings. 
3. When sharing your perspective, present your perspective and not the facts. 
4. Recognize others’ experiences as valid. 
5. Admit your mistakes, encouraging others to admit theirs.
6. Create a personal example of the behavior you want to see in others. 
7. Try to do things together – interests, sports, activities – to achieve a sense of closeness, open communication and sharing.

However, if everything fails, it’s best to seek professional help.

Two major influences having a lasting impact on your life, your satisfaction and personal happiness, are:  career and marriage. It’s quite commonsensical. In a typical career, you devote at least half of your waking hours, which bring a whole set of people around you who impact you in multifarious ways. From this angle, a marriage is even more impactful as you spend the rest of your time with a spouse, who is going to bring a great many significant influences on your life.  But a marriage is far more crucial as you can leave your company without many obligations but not a spouse without paying  huge financial, emotional and psychological costs.

Of late, the welcome trend of pre-marriage counselling is catching on in the country. And I can vouch for it on the basis of my own experience as a counsellor. I would welcome it as it can save you much heartburn later. In fact, the growing trend of pre-marriage counselling should lead to a corresponding fall in marital counselling cases and divorces.

Marriage is an uncharted path for most of us. However, marriage has many aspects which many people cannot be aware of until they experience it. Men and women have different physical, emotional and sexual needs. Even more, their ways of thinking and perceiving differ from each other. That’s what makes marriage hard. The newly married often get a much of “never go to bed angry,” and “always tell the truth” kind of tips but that’s hardly enough for a new couple grappling with important challenges on so many fronts. 

The reality is -the first year of marriage is hugely important from the viewpoint of future happiness. A therapist calls it “the wet cement year,” as it’s the time for both spouses to figure out how to live together without getting stuck and without developing bad habits that might trap them later. It’s a time to forge good patterns and ways of togetherness that can continue for the rest of one’s marriage. When I got married (it was a love marriage), I had the advantage of having known my spouse a bit before marriage but that’s never enough as being in love and getting married are two very different games. I used to wonder: How could my husband and I create a happy marriage? How would we survive and come out happier than we were the day we tied the knot? And all I found out was that despite the well-meaning pearls of wisdom given by well-wishers, friends and parents, it’s ultimately all up to you to find what works for you as no two relationship can ever be the same.  Having said that, there are some major, eternal truths I found always work, whatever be the situation.

The Keys to a Successful Marriage

As a practicing life coach, I get to many newlyweds, looking for marital advice. Here’s on to them, based on my own experience:  

1. Make it a home

Create such a space where the two of you would love to be together. You wouldn’t want your home to feel like an office or a hotel. Home is where one would love to come back in the evening. Believe me, there are really very few humans who wouldn’t love to return to a loving home. And when I say home, I don’t mean a palatial house or a highly decorated room. All I mean to say is a vibrant, thriving place full of love, laughter and togetherness that instinctively invites every human.

2. Communication in Relationships

It’s foundational to any relationship. Remember, communication has two parts: speaking and listening. Listening is vital in communication. Become a better listener and tune in to your spouse.

Communication issues are a common thing among married couples. Learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse as without effective communication, you will encounter a lot of problems in your marriage. Cultivate the habit of listening to your spouse. While taking, hint at the fact that you are indeed listening with an occasion Hmm! and right! And do not react, but respond to your spouse once they have finished saying.

Communicate about everything from small things, such as how you spent your day, to big things, such as how to spend your money. It helps you know each other better, resolve issues, and stay connected to each other.

Talk about everything. Especially the stuff that hurts. No secrets! Not talking about the things that bother you could eventually lead to resentment towards your spouse. .

3. Disagreements are OK

Disagreements are unavoidable. But a defining aspect of a strong, happy marriage, is the ability to get past a fight. It doesn’t matter if you argue as all couples do, it’s all about coming back to the table later and talking about what happened and owning your part. It lets a couple share deeply how they feel without being angry or frustrated during an argument.

You are two distinct individuals. So, you’re not going to have the same opinions on everything, You and your spouse have different life experiences that shape your worldview. You may have to see the world through each other’s lenses. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. However, you can come to a mutual agreement on big things like big purchases, career, kids and holidays. But over small issues, it’s alright to disagree.

4. Conflict in Relationships

A marriage is made up of two imperfect people. Therefore, conflicts are going to happen. One of you may see conflict as a sport, while the other may avoid it. You can’t make them disappear, but you can manage those conflicts in a healthy way.

5. Post-Wedding Blues

Among common marriage problems, this one ranks pretty much up there. You may experience a post-nuptial depression – the sad mood that newlyweds experience within the first 3-6 months after marriage. It’s nothing but a feeling of letdown after all the excitement of the wedding and the honeymoon phase being over. Avoid talking about the wedding and instead, go out and do things together. It takes time to reorient yourself, and this is just the beginning of your new life together.

Read: Why Do Couples Face Relationship Problems?

6. Strong foundation

This is quite critical. Think as a team and treating each other as equals respectfully. Value each other, work together, and have an equal say in your marriage. Unless it has a strong foundation, the marriage could easily end in a divorce. So spend some time with your spouse to make a plan to build a strong foundation.

7. Realistic expectations

The way you were raised may be different from the way your spouse was raised. What you expect to be the “norm” may not be true of your spouse. Talk of your expectations from each other, be realistic, and make mutual compromises. This thing also includes your gender role in the marriage. Reel and real lives are entirely different.

8. Keep the romance alive

A marriage counsellor will always tell you that romance keeps you connected and alive. So be creative with your dates. It doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. And it also doesn’t always have to be in the evening. Schedule dates, put them on the calendar, and prioritize that time together.

Keep your phone off the dining table and never forget to dress up nicely. Many newly married wives have this temptation to spend all their time together in sweatpants. Ditto for newly married husbands, many of whom would love to be in their favourite bermudas. This piece of advice goes both ways —make an effort to win your partner over again and again.

9. Go easy

In marriage counseling, it is often aid that not every day is perfect or good. That’s okay. Talk to your spouse about the imperfections and the sore points. A marriage is a marathon, not a sprint and on certain days, you’ll feel it’s an obstacle course where you are carrying your spouse up a mountain. Do not obsess over whether you’re doing everything “right”— accept that you cannot learn everything about being a good wife in a day. It’s an ongoing process. Period.

10. Lean on your partner

A nice thing about being married is that you don’t have to always shoulder all your life on your own. Let your spouse take care of you occasionally when you are down and need their support and love. You may be fiercely independent in terms of your aspirations of achieving your creative goals, but don’t think too much about working part-time after having kids and letting your husband take on the financial responsibilities for a while.

11. Thank you

Life coaches often joke that complaining about marriage is practically an international sport. Women all over the world play it so skillfully but having unreasonable expectations for your spouse or comparing your relationship to others’ are surefire ways to dissatisfaction. Better to practice gratitude and be thankful for the good things your spouse brings to the relationship with regular verbal expressions of thanks. Pay attention to the good things your partner does instead of pointing out the negatives. Even a small SMS saying thank you can go a long way.

12. Take good care of yourself

Among common marriage problems, this one is caused by an attitude of taking it for granted after marriage. No marriage counselor would ever say that marriage should mean the end of “you” as a person, rather, it is a whole new unit including you and your spouse. But it’s easy to lose yourself in a marriage. It’s easy to nurture your spouse and your relationship and forget about nurturing yourself in this process. Take time off to reset yourself and you will have a better marriage. Pay attention to yourself: exercise, read, enjoy with friends, go out, meditate, relax or do whatever else you like.

Those specializing in marriage counselling advise that while there’s no need to put on a show, getting dressed up nicely occasionally is a fun way to keep the romance alive. It is a way to tell your partner you’re still attracted to them, and you prioritize maintaining this attraction.

13. Have adventure

After the excitement of the wedding is over, the dip in your mood is perfectly normal. But you can keep that excitement of your marriage intact. Have adventures with your spouse. Novelty i.e. taking risks and trying something new can release dopamine in the brain. It could be some novelty in the bedroom, kitchen, having fun or something else. You can get the same dopamine effect from sampling a new cuisine together or trying out the roller coaster in a fun park. Keep on learning, growing and trying new things together to keep the spark alive and avoid monotony from creeping into your relationship.

14. Equality isn’t 50-50

There are days or weeks when you may have to do one kind of work because your spouse is swamped with work. Of course, you can switch the role later as per requirements. The balance in a marriage isn’t a spreadsheet — it’s about both of you feeling supported. The balance between the two of who does what ebbs and flows. Remember, your marriage is not like anyone else’s and what works for someone else may not work for you. So, take advice and counsel of the people you love and trust and make your own path to be in charge of your own happily ever after.

15. Trust and respect

A healthy marriage isn’t possible without trust and respect. Trusting your spouse is very critical for you  to succeed as a married couple. So build and maintain boundaries for both of you and your marriage- in-laws, social media, opposite-sex friends, technology, money, friends… the list goes on and on. Boundaries matter, and they aren’t bad. Think of them as guardrails to keep you on the road in the right direction. Talk about them and set them together.

By building boundaries, you encourage trust and safety to grow. Don’t keep secrets from your spouse as it creates mistrust. Respecting your spouse means not saying bad things about them to friends, family, co-workers, etc. It means you respect who they are as a person, their opinions, hobbies, passions, etc. and you treat your spouse in the same way you would want to be treated.

16. Independent and interdependent

Keep up doing the things you are passionate about. Getting married doesn’t mean you stop doing the things you love. Instead, find a way to incorporate it in a way that works for both of you. Spend time with your spouse to grow together as a couple. Choose one thing you can both do to connect and grow together every day and wake up each morning feeling refreshed, happy, and excited about living with your spouse.

Keep the connection with your friends and family alive. Being married doesn’t mean you have to abandon all in your pre-wedding life. You need social outlets to re-energize yourself for your spouse.

17. Break Routine

Don’t get caught up in a routine. Have fun and lots of it- dancing in the kitchen, playing games, being weird. Whatever it is, make your marriage fun and enjoyable for both of you.

Avoid taking each other for granted by having date nights and taking romantic vacations. Just going to and from work and never focusing on each other or your relationship is going to bring monotony and boredom. When you are just going through the motions, you will feel less satisfied and less content—and that will rub off on your spouse, too. Marriage is a balance between two people.

18. Money Matters

Talking about money is an intimate conversation. Whether you have separate bank accounts or are a share-everything couple, finances come up early and often. If you’re not talking openly about money, you’re not building a shared future and leave the window open for distrust. And that’s never good for a relationship.

Avoid debts and unnecessary credit card bills. Money problems put unnecessary stress on a marriage. In fact, it’s one of the major causes of arguments among married couples. Never spend more than you have and keep an eye on the future by always saving for the rainy day.

19. Good Sex

Sex is vital part to a marriage, especially a new one, so make sure your sex life is satisfying for both of you. If there are certain physical or psychological problems affecting your performance, see a doctor and discuss the situation with them and your spouse.

Frequently, in case of many with couples, sex simply disappears after they had kids. This is unfortunate but the solution is a pretty simple: make time for it. Talk about it, schedule it. Sexual intimacy increases the emotional intimacy in your marriage. You both may have different sex drives. That’s ok. Talk about it as sex is an essential part of your marriage.

Put it on a schedule and stick to it. If you don’t block time out, it’s not going to happen. When you schedule it, you get a bit excited as you anticipate the alone time and fantasize about your partner and planning ways to pleasure each other.

20. Remember Your Commitment

You both vowed to stay true and together whatever comes your way. And this needs to always be top of mind and sustained. Where there is a foundation of caring and love, you can trust that you will get through whatever the difficulties are. Commitment means you can lay your head on your spouse’s shoulder as you know they are for you when you’re vulnerable or tired. It’s a shared intimacy – a necessary ingredient to a healthy and happy marriage.

21. Do not Stonewall

Stonewalling- shutting down during an argument – is corrosive. The stonewalling spouse stops responding and maintains a calm exterior, an indication that they don’t care about what they’re saying. The stonewaller may be right in trying to calm the things down but the way is very destructive. Instead, ask for a break and tell your partner that you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Go for a walk until you’ve calmed down and then, return to the discussion and continue it.

22. Be Flexible

It’s important to understand and anticipate that you can’t anticipate everything and must react with flexibility. Unexpected events, expenses, and situations come up in relationships. If we are too rigid, we resist facing the unexpected. The ability to go with the flow especially when it’s dramatically different from expectations, gives them the opportunity to learn new skills and know each other in unexpected ways.

23. Be Curious

Growth as a couple requires curiosity, which can result in tremendous learning to strengthen your relationship. In challenging situations, you can both learn from what makes those situations hard for you and grow in the process. This way, you will both have pride for yourselves and each other. Your partner will likely change over time, so a shared sense of curiosity allows you to change for the better.

24. Grow and Learn

Everyone screws up things, makes wrong decisions and messes up. It’s all about how people react that defines a relationship. If you are willing to learn from mistakes related to your partner’s needs and desires, you will thrive personally and in the relationship. A willingness to admit mistakes and apologize sincerely is the key to a deeper bond. So, drink that pride to say “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake.

25. Laugh it out

The best thing you can do for a happy marriage is laugh together every day. If you can laugh together, you can get through anything.

26. Little Things Matter

Small gestures carry weight- a simple love note, a longer hug or kiss goodbye can make your partner feel appreciated. A short and sweet text can make your lover’s heart pitter-patter.

27. Give Space

Be supportive and engaged with your spouse. Couples with mutual respect believe in each other’s strengths and have enough faith to know when to retrace and let them handle something on their own. They know they can’t fix their partner’s problems more than the partner wants to. They know when they need to let go of control and let the partner figure things out.

“Organic” is quite the buzzword today. And for all the right reasons! The word “organic” refers to the methods through which certain foods are produced without using any artificial chemicals, hormones, antibiotics, or genetically engineered organisms. Essentially, a food item must be devoid of artificial food additives like artificial sweeteners, preservatives, colours and flavours to be labelled organic.

What is Organic Food?

“Organic” is a label given by the U.S. Department of Agriculture to foods produced under specific standards. These methods integrate cultural, biological, and mechanical practices that foster cycling of resources, promote ecological balance, and conserve biodiversity. In making such foods, synthetic fertilizers, irradiation, and genetic engineering are not used.

But there’s more to it as organic farming relies on biodiversity, composting, and natural defenders against diseases and insects. It helps farmers stay more connected to the natural rhythms and local biodiversity.

Organic farming arose in the 1940s to combat the negative trends in industrial agriculture. Its primary goal is to foster the intercommunity of soil life, plants, and people. It takes a broader approach to food production. Organic farming seeks to cultivate healthy soil, full of vibrant microorganisms to make it the perfect breeding ground for healthy crops.

 Food and your Mind

In case of traditional farming, pesticides and other hazardous chemicals are widely employed, which have been shown to harm brain functioning and development. On the contrary, organic food is grown without using such hazardous chemicals. There are an estimated 45 pesticides in the market, many of which have been proven to negatively affect the brain and the nervous system. Therefore, using organic products is one of the easiest ways to minimize your exposure to such harmful chemicals. The key to a healthy and powerful brain is organic food. For instance, sugar and other processed foods can cause inflammation in the brain, which can lead to mental health problems including anxiety and sadness. A case in point is when we’re anxious or sad, we typically turn to a fast pick-me-up.

From our childhood, we are told about the importance of eating a good diet for our growing needs. We know that to feel our physical best, we need to have lots of water, reduce junk, and have a balanced diet but the correlation between good food and mental health isn’t emphasized at all.

Read: Mental Health: The Royal Road to a Happy, Fulfilling Life

A healthy, balanced diet helps clear the mind and makes us feel alert, besides increasing our attention span and concentration. Conversely, a poor diet can create fatigue, impair decision-making, and result in depression and stress.

Ample research indicates that western diets, full of highly processed foods, can lead to increased chances of depression and anxiety. That’s because processed food and sugary stuffs are addictive and stimulate our brain’s dopamine centres, the brain parts associated with pleasure and reward. In fact, sugary and processed foods result in inflammation of the brain and, which aggravates anxiety and depression. Contrarily, food groups that contribute significantly to our overall wellness are fresh in nature and include all essential minerals and vitamins.

Brain Booster Foods

To boost your brain functioning, eat plenty of organic fruits and vegetables, as well as omega-3 fatty acid-rich foods like salmon, to improve your mental wellness. Omega-3 fatty acids are critical for normal brain function and development as they preserve the cell membrane health and facilitate neural communication. Magnesium is a key nutrient for mental stability: it calms the nervous system by blocking brain N-methyl D-aspartate receptors (NMDA), inhibiting excitatory neurotransmission. Calcium regulates neuronal functions such as neurotransmitter synthesis and release, neuronal excitability, and much more.

Dark green leafy veggies, in particular, protect and nurture the brain. Besides these foods, nuts, seeds, and legumes like beans and lentils are proven to be good for the brain. To benefit from them, you can simply include such organic foods in your daily routine. You can begin with breakfast, the most important meal of the day. For example, you can replace your routine cup of coffee with a cup of milk equivalent to 8 Ounces. Add 6-7 almonds to it, which will not only keep you energetic but also help you stay more focused. If you feel famished in the middle of the night, munch on some nuts or fruits instead of non-organic food.

Mental Health Boosters

They include complex carbohydrates, lean proteins, and fatty acids. Brain foods are essential for the optimum functioning of the nervous system and building new proteins, tissues, and cells.

Complex carbohydrates

In place of the all-purpose flour, include organic whole wheat, brown rice and starchy vegetables. In addition, you may include sweet potatoes, quinoa, millet, and beets to feel fuller and get essential nutrients.

Lean proteins

Lean proteins contribute to overall wellness by giving us the energy to think and react quickly. Sources of lean proteins include soybean, chicken, meat, fish, nuts, and seeds.

Fatty acids

Fatty acids, found in meat, eggs, fish, nuts, and flaxseeds, are another important brain booster food. Fatty acids like omega 3 maintain the nerve-cell membranes. Medically, low omega-3 levels are linked to information-processing problems found among people suffering from schizophrenia, bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorders as well as Huntington’s disease.

Apart from these foods, in a healthy diet you need to include high levels of zinc, iron, and Vitamin C as well as B12. These minerals reduce the chances of depression, improve mood, and prevent nervous disorders like Alzheimer’s disease.

Diet Tips For Better Mental Health

1. Avoid eating processed snacks – potato chips, candies, and soft drinks -as much as possible as they reduce your ability to concentrate and impair energy levels.

2. Include healthy fats in your good diet, like coconut oil, avocado, peanuts, etc. Healthy fat is good for your heart and supports proper brain functioning.

4. Snack healthy with fruits, baked sweet potatoes, nuts, hard-boiled eggs, etc.
5. Stay away from shopping for junk food. The less junk you shop for, the less junk you’ll eat!
6. Don’t binge on food. Have food in small portion sizes and eat frequently to maintain your energy levels and ensure the proper functioning of your brain.

In general, mental health comprises emotional, psychological and social well-being. It’s all about how we think, feel, and act in life, which profound impacts our overall well being – physical, emotional, and psychological. Taking good care of mental health is vital as it affects every aspect of our life – relationships with friends and family to our performance at the workplace or college. A number of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, substance use disorder and more can adversely affect our mental wellbeing. Though they have wide variations in terms of their severity, they do have a negative impact on our lives.

On the obverse side, our mental well-being is also affected by the situations we face in life. Managing mental health during the COVID-19 times has become even a bigger challenge given the backdrop of severe restrictions on economic and social activities globally. For mental health professionals during COVID-19, there has been a record rise in the number of the mentally sick. With the clubbing of fear and anxiety about COVID-19, emotional distress resulting from illness, bereavement, unemployment, income loss, and loneliness due to social isolation — all of them interact and create or worsen mental health problems on a global scale.

Being a life coach, I get a chance to talk to people having mental health problems. Such problems contribute to the issues they bring to a life coach. The life coach has to work on such issues to realize the most from consultation. As a daughter of a severely depressed mother and a depressive patient myself, I can well understand the personal distress, dysfunction and the social costs of being part of such a household. My mother had developed severe depression when I was a young school-going kid. She kept lying in bed all day long, hardly moving out of it. Though I wasn’t alive to its real nature then, I could still make out that not all was well with her. And at a point in time, her condition worsened to the extent that she had to be administered electro-convulsive therapy to give her some relief. 

When later, my husband committed suicide, leaving behind two teenage daughters and me, a 60-crore debt, hundreds of court cases to fight, and a fledgling textile plant to manage, I too believed I would slip into depression, given my harrowing circumstances and my genetically inherited tendencies. But fortunately,  I was able to collect the pieces of life with my determination and positive attitude to rebuild my life. So much so that I underwent training to become a qualified life coach to help others like me to improve their lives. My own story is a message to the readers of the immense value of hope, optimism and determination to come out of life’s adversities. 

The Cost of Mental Illness

With the COVID-19 pandemic, the issues of mental health have come to the forefront. The pandemic has drastically changed our lives – the way we live, work and enjoy – and has brought in its wake a lot of worries, insecurity, and fears. Virtually none has been left unaffected by COVID-19 and this is why it’s doubly important to be conscious of our mental health needs and make mental wellbeing a top priority.

Unfortunately, despite the huge medical advances, the concept of mental health as part of holistic well-being doesn’t evoke the interest it deserves in the developing world. The indifference is understandable in that such countries are still struggling with the more mundane poverty, hunger, unemployment and given the situation, any talk of mental health is greeted with indifference. Mental health care will get open acceptance only if there are concerted efforts by governments, awareness campaigns and improved economic well-being.                           

From anxiety, depression to substance addiction to dementia to schizophrenia, almost 100 crore people i.e. about 12.5% of the global populace suffers from one or the mental disorder. Just to get a handle on the overall economic, social and psychological costs of mental illness, consider the loss of productivity happening due to two most common disorders – anxiety and depression. They both cost the global economy about US $ 10000 crore annually. Overall, poor mental health is estimated to cost the global economy US $ 25000 crore by way of poor health and loss of productivity, besides causing personal distress to crores of people.

In India, almost all those availing of mental health services pay their bills out-of-pocket. Therefore, the economic case for investment in mental health is quite strong: it has been calculated that every $ 1 invested in treatment for depression and anxiety results in a $ 4 return in terms of better health and productivity. Thus, mental health awareness is the crying need of the hour in larger social and economic interest.

The Meaning of Mental Health

I can tell you that we all need to get a strong handle on “mental health” first before we proceed. Contrary to lay perception, mental health is NOT “the absence of mental disorders or disabilities.” Rather, it is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his/her abilities, can cope well with normal stresses, can work productively, and make a contribution to the community of which they are part. In other words, it is overall cognitive, behavioral, and emotional well-being.

What Can Good Mental Health Do?

Better Quality of Life

As good mental health coaches can tell you, mental well-being brings better quality of life and thereby makes room for greater participation in community building e.g. volunteering, taking up local causes, fundraising etc. A mentally healthy person is also more likely to take to new hobbies, forge new acquaintances, and travel more.

Better Coping

Mental health coaches opine that good mental health makes challenges easier to overcome. While some resort to alcohol / drugs, withdrawal or fighting as coping mechanisms to manage relationship issues, economic worries, job challenges and other obstacles, a mentally healthy person adopts healthier coping mechanisms.

Positive Self-Image

Mental health has a strongly link with self-perception as it can play a big role in promoting self-esteem. Self-confidence indicates a healthy mind. A mentally healthy person focuses on the good they have and is fired by the desire to leading a healthy, happy life.

Healthier Relationships

Sound mental health enables us to have quality time, affection and our friends and family’s support. Besides, since there is no emotional distress, it can be easy to support the people you love in the times of need. Obviously, one doesn’t expect an unhealthy person to support another unhealthy one!

Higher Productivity

All mental disorders, without exception, affect our productivity negatively since we are unable to work to our full potential. A mentally healthy person works more efficiently and produces good quality work.

What Causes Mental Illnesses

Mental health affects all aspects of life, relationships, work and overall health. Conditions like stress, depression, and anxiety can affect mental health and disrupt daily living. Many psychological disorders are rooted in biological variables as well.

Globally, mental disorders are a major cause behind physical and mental distress, bad relationships, poor productivity, absenteeism, poor performance and suicides. Sadly, we do not have much idea about the exact causes of many among these disorders. But medical research makes it clear that most of these problems arise from an interaction of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. One’s mental health is primed by social and financial circumstances, biology and lifestyle. Therefore, good mental health is a function of keeping a delicate balance of various factors and elements of life and the world at large.

• Biological Factors

Many common mental disorders – depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder – are  linked to abnormal functioning of circuits in the brain. They interact with each other by an exchange of neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, melanin etc.). For example, a biological tendency towards lesser production of feel-good hormones has been found to be among the major causes of depression.  Thus, a common approach to  treating such diseases is tweaking the balance of these chemicals with medications or talk therapy to make the brain circuits work more efficiently. Besides, defects/injuries to some areas of the brain are also responsible for loss of memory, loss of speech etc..

• Genes

Several mental disorders are found in families as they are rooted in the way the genes behave. Most such mental illnesses are caused by many genes working together. Exactly how they interact with their environment is quite unique for every person. That’s why making targeted drugs for these diseases is a big challenge before researchers. Revolutionizing mental health care would require more genome sequencing so that researchers can hope to develop more targeted drugs for such disorders.                 

This phenomenon can also explain why some people carrying genes for a certain mental illness don’t always develop it as it results from multiple genes interacting among themselves and other triggers e.g. stress, abuse, trauma. It’s quite akin  to how diabetes develops i.e. one may be born with the genes for it, but whether one develops diabetes later in life depends on environmental factors too like body weight, physical exercise, diet, stress etc.

• Infections

Some infections are linked to brain damage and mental illnesses or their deterioration. For example, the pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorder (PANDAS) attributed to Streptococcus bacteria leads to an obsessive-compulsive disorder among children.

• Brain defects/injuries

Certain defects or injuries in some areas of the brain can result in mental illnesses i.e. damage to the hippocampus, which can result in amnesia or loss of memory. Brain defects/ injuries are also among the causes of depression.

• Pre-natal damage

Traumas occurring at the time of birth like a shortage of oxygen disrupts and arrests early brain development in a fetus, which triggers certain conditions like autism.

• Substance abuse

Long-term substance abuse is linked to problems like anxiety, depression, and paranoia.

• Other factors
• Health issues

Health problems like cancers, diabetes, and chronic pain can cause stress, depression, and anxiety. Likewise, poor nutrition and exposure to toxins like mercury (Minamata) and lead (poor brain functioning) in early age may cause mental illness.

• Psychological Factors
• Emotional, physical, sexual abuse in early age or teenage
• Loss of parent / primary caregiver
• Emotional abuse or neglect
• Poor ability to relate to other people
• Environmental Factors
• Loved one’s death or parental divorce / separation
• Broken families OR dysfunctional family life
• Feeling of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, anxiety, anger, or loneliness
• Switching of job / school
• Socio-cultural expectations e.g. associating beauty with a lean body is a contributing factor in triggering eating disorders e.g. bulimia, anorexia nervosa etc.
• Alcohol / drug/ substance abuse by self/ parents

Common Symptoms

There are no physical test/scans, which can reliably detect mental illness. However, there are some common symptoms that may be the possible signs of a mental disorder:

1. Social withdrawal from one’s family, friends, colleagues    
2. Avoidance of favourite activities/ hobbies
3. Excessive/ under-sleeping                         
4. Over-eating/under- eating
5. Ideas of hopelessness                        
6. Poor energy levels
7. Use of alcohol, nicotine                           
8. Negative emotions, feelings of worthlessness
9. Problems performing daily tasks                        
10. Suicidal thoughts/ behaviour
11. Having delusions                               
12. Excessive Confusion, anger, guilt or worry
13. Frequent mood swings                                       
14. Fighting with family, friends
15. “Hearing” voices

Common Mental Disorders

The most common mental illness types are:

1. Anxiety disorders
2. Mood disorders
3. Schizophrenia and allied disorders

• Anxiety disorders

The most common of mental illnesses. Anxiety-related disorders involve disproportionate worrying which tends to disrupt everyday life. Fear or anxiety in the presence of some objects or situations is a common experience. Patients with such problems tend to avoid exposure to situations, which trigger anxiety.

Common exemplars

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Patients with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) experience excessive anxiety in everyday life situations like routine chores or meeting people. They can also experience other signs like restlessness, fatigue, muscular tension and disruptions in sleep.

Panic disorders

Panic disorder patients suffer from regular panic attacks with a feeling of sudden terror or an imminent disaster and death.

Phobias

Simple phobias

A phobia is irrational, excessive fear of some objects, scenarios, or animals e.g. a fear of spiders or heights.  

Social phobia

A k a social anxiety, it is the fear of being subject to others’ judgment. As a result, such people tend to reduce social exposure.

Agoraphobia

The fear of open places like a marketplace.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

People with an Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) suffer from obsessions and compulsions i.e. persistent, stressful thoughts and the urge for repetitive acts like hand washing or locking door repeatedly, bathing again and again. Unless they do so, they experience a feeling of anxiety and unrest and that’s how, it tends to become a habitual action, causing significant disruption in daily life.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) results from someone experiencing a highly stressful or traumatic event, for example riots, genocide, fire, earthquake, floods, war, ethnic conflict, terrorism etc..

Mood Disorders

A k a affective disorders / depressive disorders. Patients have significant mood changes,  involving either mania – high energy and elation, or a down-in-the-dumps depression. Examples of mood disorders are:

Major Depression

Consistently low mood and loss of interest in favourite activities and prolonged sadness.

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar patients experience unusual changes in mood, energy and activity level. The highs bring a manic phase, while a depressive period brings the low mood.

 Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Reduced daylight triggers it during fall, winter, and early spring months. It’s common among people living in countries located far away from the equator.

Schizophrenia and related disorders

Mental health professionals are unsure of whether schizophrenia is a single disorder or a group of disorders. Typically, schizophrenia appears between 16 and 30 years, with the patient exhibiting significant thought disruption. The individual experiences  fragmented thoughts, with there being no filter to check them and finds it hard to process information efficiently.

Schizophrenia has been seen to be marked by delusions, thought disruptions, and hallucinations, social withdrawal, lack of motivation and an indifferent mood.

 Treatment Methods

Various methods are available to manage mental health problems. Of course, the treatment plan in every case has to be tailored to each individual and what works for one may not work for other one. Most often, a combination of various therapies proves to be most effective in terms of the results they give.

Types of Treatment

Psychotherapy

The talk therapy takes a psychological approach to treating such illnesses. Some such therapies include cognitive behaviour therapy, exposure therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy. Typically, psychologists and psychotherapists use psychotherapy to relieve the symptoms of patients. Psychotherapy is based on the idea of helping people understand the root causes of their problems and enabling them to develop healthy thought patterns with therapy.

Most often, people suffering from anxiety or depression are able to benefit from relaxation techniques like progressive muscular relaxation, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness.

Medication

One of the major factors behind the current revolution in mental health care has been the emergence of medicines.            

A psychiatrist may prescribe tranquilizers, antidepressants, antipsychotics and other drugs to relieve the symptoms of such diseases. Although these medicines cannot cure mental disorders, they relieve the symptoms and help the patients function effectively in daily life.

Some medicines work to boost the bodily absorption of happy hormones like serotonin in the brain. On the other hand, others can boost the overall levels of these chemicals or prevent their degradation or destruction.

Ways to Self-help

A major factor contributing to the overall healing process is the willingness and the readiness of the patient to change their lifestyle to facilitate wellness. Such a change may involve a modification in the patterns of physical activity, sleeping habits, socialization, meditation, relaxation etc.

Risk Factors in Poor Mental Health

Mental health, an important part of overall well-being, determines how effectively we work psychologically, emotionally, and socially to lead a productive and happy life, which enables us to contribute meaningfully to society.

One just needs to look at the millions of broken homes, poor productivity, loss of man-days, absenteeism, personal distress, divorces and suicides to understand how much havoc bad mental health wreaks. Thus, in the light of the role it plays in all our life, it’s vitally important to improve our psychological wellness using appropriate measures.

However, various circumstances may affect our ability to handle the curveballs of life. Some of them are

Childhood Abuse

A child witness to physical assault, sexual violence, emotional abuse or neglect in early years can develop severe mental and emotional distress later. In fact, loving relationships and good mental health in early years are the touchstones of happy, well-adjusted adult personalities. Such early abuse can worsen the risk of getting depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and personality problems in adulthood. Such children may eventually develop problems related to substance abuse, besides others.

Counsult for child counselling

The Environment

Our environment is a contributor to mental well-being as adverse circumstances can affect psychological wellness. For instance, extreme weather conditions or air pollution or natural disasters can increase the likelihood of developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Biology

Our biological makeup also affects our well-being. As said earlier, many such disorders run in families and are transmitted to the next generation e.g. autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia.

Lifestyle

Our lifestyle also affects mental health e.g. smoking, poor diet, alcoholism and drug use, and risky sexual behavior may cause psychological damage by leading to or worsening various psychological problems.

Looking after Your Mental Well-Being

Various campaigns launched on mental health awareness emphasize the preventive steps in keeping good mental health. Maintaining mental health is vital to getting the most out of life. Here are my Top Ten Tips, which won’t cost you much in money or time.

1. Embrace yourself as you are

Accepting and loving yourself i.e. self-acceptance is key to good mental health. You can’t be someone else. Remember, none is perfect and trying to improve oneself is a sensible thing to do. But alongside, love yourself, with warts and all. If you can’t love yourself, no one else will!

2. Talk out

Talk to friends and family about your feelings, which helps you stay in good mental health and deal with tough times. You may not find a solution but often, just talking about a problem makes you feel better.

3. Eat, sleep well

The brain requires many nutrients to keep itself in good shape and work the way other organs do. Taking a nutritious, balanced diet is crucial to physical and mental health. Likewise, try to have enough, quality sleep to keep good mental health.

4. Get going

Regular physical exercise boosts self-esteem and helps you focus, sleep, and feel better by releasing feel-good chemicals. It keeps the brain and other organs in good form and improves mental health.

5. Drink sensibly

Having a few drinks to alter mood or deal with a fear or loneliness is commonplace but it has temporary effects. As its effects wear off, you begin to feel worse due to the way alcohol works on the brain and the body. Look for better ways to deal with such feelings and try to develop more effective coping ways.

6. Keep in touch

Though nothing else can beat catching up with someone face to face, that may not be always possible. Give a call, drop a note, or chat online to keep the communication open. It’s better for your mental health!

7. Ask

Admit that you aren’t a superhuman nor is anyone else. It’s normal to be tired or overwhelmed sometimes when things don’t work out as per expectations. Seek help from family or friends, who may give practical help or at least patient listening. Having a support network in the family and close friends can be a great aid in recovering from a mental illness.

8. Take a break

Take a break from work. A change of scene or place works wonders for mental health. It may be a 5-minute pause from your chore, a 30-minute break or a weekend getaway. But it can also be a longer break i.e. vacation. In most cases, it is more than enough to de-stress you.

9. Enjoy hobbies

Do what you love to. Have some fun and enjoy yourself to beat stress. Do something you’re good at – music, painting, cooking, stitching, carpentry etc. to feel good about yourself and improve your self-esteem.

10. Re-calibrate

Try to change your thinking processes to make them more realistic and work on bad personal relationships contributing to poor mental health.