The 7 Steps to Handle Negative People With a Smile and Positivity

Life Coaching

The 7 Steps to Handle Negative People With a Smile and Positivity

Have you ever wondered that when you are around some people you are full of life and energy and laughter, while around some other people, you seem to have a feeling of dullness and heaviness? Have you tried to find that it is because of those people or those places or simply because you were exhausted? It is probably all three. Yes, places and people also can be tiring and draining or can inject a new lease of life in you. Take, for instance, a place of worship, where you feel connected to everyone and with yourself and are full of hope and positivity. And on the other hand, take a cemetery or a hospital have negative vibes, where most people start to question the meaning of their own lives.

Just like places and circumstances, certain people can be very stressful, draining, and have a great negative influence on your life and work. Human beings are social animals and thrive in and strive for social connections and social confirmations for their happiness and well-being. Therefore, our happiness depends largely on the nature of the relationships we have with our family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and other people we come into contact with regularly. People with negativity and pessimistic attitude do not just slide down a rabbit hole themselves, they pull the people down
the people around them as well. And it is not always their fault! Neuro-physicians and psychiatrists have identified the roles of certain hormonal and molecular imbalances in parts of human brains on which they have no control. Many times, that is not the case and a matter of attitude towards life. It is the latter type of people we need to look out for and shield ourselves from as “you cannot wake up a person pretending to sleep”. As for the former, medical help must be arranged with sympathy and care that they deserve.
How to handle negative people?

How to handle negative people?

What is it that you can or should do when faced with such a person who drains your energy and life out of you? Are there any ways and means to help you how to handle negative people? There are a few things, actually, that anyone with
reasonable practice and firmness can do to bring an end to all this. A reputed and well-known Life Coach Ritu Singal says that “most toxic people are like vectors of contagious diseases and in this case the disease being the negative vibes.”
Pessimism and negativity can be contagious you may find yourself infected with stress, anger, and burden. Life Coach Ritu Singal stresses that when you are surrounded by toxic people and not deal with them quickly, you may fall victim to them and start feeling fidgety and restless yourself. She says that it affects your sleep and balance of mind causing tiredness and irritation. Anxiety and depression may become your permanent partners that is not what you wanted in the first place.

Life Coach Ritu Singal once had a reputed physician as a client. He attended a few sessions as part of a personality development workshop organized for doctors by his hospital. When he learned about the effects of negativity and its presence in hidden forms, he contacted Ms. Singal for personal sessions. Once he was assured of a safe space and confidentiality, he narrated his grief of not being able to manage his practice, research, career goals, and even family
harmony.
On probing further, she found that his wife was a very toxic person and has curtailed his mind-space beyond any point of return. She used to call him at all times in the office, even when he was in consultation, and would not let him put down his phone. At home, she would continuously harass him in front of his own family and would make him come to tears. The physician was broken and could not gather any self-esteem or strength to face his fears and the reason for it. Despite being a doctor himself, he was afraid of seeking help from fellow doctors for it.

Life Coach Ritu Singal made the said doctor do some self-realization exercises, suing tools developed by neuroscientists and psychologists to face our true fears, challenges, and emotions that give rise to them. She helped him gather courage, and self-esteem and stand up to his wife in a toxic situation and tell her firmly what he is willing to compromise if she doesn’t put her act together. These tools are self-paced and exercises best done in the supervision of a certified Life Coach as she is trained to handle the emotional fall out from such situations.

Dealing With Negativity

Ritu says, does not require you to be armed with anger or ferocity, but with a smile, a positive attitude, and an armor of an alert mind. She has a checklist called “how to handle negative people”, she often shares in her workshops, with steps that you can take to rid your life of negativity and toxicity.

Identify Them

Life Coach Ritu Singal gives many pointers to identify negativity and toxicity in people as the first step in dealing with
negativity:

  • Such persons always complain that the whole world is being unfair to them and people being biased or unfair
  • They hold a negative perspective of the world and its state
  • Ritu suggests “Hope for the best and prepares for the worst”, instead they “hope and never prepare for the worst!”.
  • They are always victims in their stories and always at the receiving end
  • They are overly sensitive to criticism and can turn acclaim into an affront
  • They are never cheerful, happy, or positive and resent others being so
  • Everyone else is wrong and dishonest, and only they are always right and upright
  • They can never be supportive as they can’t see any positivity and potential in others
  • They compliment, with a “but”!
  • Negativity results in them being low achievers
  • Like sponges, they suck the life energy and optimism out of you

1. Set Your Boundaries, With Positive People

You may not always be able to ignore negative people but you can certainly ignore negativity in them. That’s always up to you and they must realize what is your limit of tolerance of negativity. Mostly, you can walk away or move your focus to a positive aspect. You have to make it clear that you know how to deal with negative people.

Surrounding yourself with constructive and affirmative persons makes undesirables shy away. Keeping yourself busy with meaningful work not only gives you a sense of purpose but keeps them at bay.

2. Don’t Make it Personal

Sometimes it is impossible to avoid them you have to hear them out. Remain alert in these situations and remember how to deal with negative people – practice mindful meditation, breathe deep and long, monitor your thoughts. Don’t take things they say personally and remember where they are coming from and whatever they say to you has little impact on your life if you don’t allow it. Tell them you are not equipped to handle the situations, and simply say NO.

3. Help When Possible

There are important people in your lives who are unfortunately negative in their approach and attitude. It is therefore a big problem figuring out how to handle negative people who are close and near to you. At this time, it is hard to ignore negativity and you may need to step up to pull them out. Show them kindness, love, and affection. Do something nice for them and smile at them without reason. Give them compliments and help them see the brighter side. Help them find a solution and work on an achievable plan with them. Share some sport or gardening with them requiring their full focus and attention. If nothing helps, take professional help from counselors, psychologists, or certified Life Coach like Ritu Singal.

4. Smile and Laugh

Emotional Contagion applies to both positive and negative emotions. As Life Coach, Ritu often says “Sunlight is the best disinfectant, and a Smile has the brightness of a thousand suns!” Laughter is contagious and the best shield against any ill wills and negativity. It takes only one person with genuine laughter to set the tone of the room and ward off the negativity. In learning how to deal with negative people, this may be your simplest and best tool ever.

5. Don’t Lose Yourself

“Never turn into what you were fighting.” This is what Life Coach Ritu Singal says in her sessions. Always remember you must not become a negative, bitter, and unpleasant person while fighting the negativity in others. Shouting at a person to shut her/him off is convenient, but by doing so you are becoming one of them. They note your touchpoints and can set you off instantly by raising the topics you are most sensitive about at the time of their liking. Don’t give them this key to your emotional well-being. Ritu says to her mentees, “You cannot fight negativity with more of it”. It has to be with positivity and understanding. Be alert, realize who you are at your core, leave that room, or count backward from 100. If you must, keep your responses objective, unemotional, and simple.

6. Create a Personal Positive Space

Create a personal space with cheerful, happy, and positive influences to brighten up the mood. Creating a positive space is simple – keep the table uncluttered, organize your articles and files, have a pot with flower, keep a memorable picture, stick a positive quote you believe in. Try helping people with their work, after you have finished your own. Show and feel gratitude towards yourself and others. Spend time with family and friends, go on outings, and buy them gifts without any reason.

7. Change the Conversation

When someone complaints all the time, it becomes difficult to ignore them or focus somewhere else. As an effective step for how to handle negative people, you have to take charge and change the conversation. Avoid any references to anything that may give them an opening. Use “appreciative inquiry” and help them gain a more positive perspective on the same topic. “Rephrase” and “reframe” their negative ideas with a positive twist to make the conversation more practical and optimistic. Try to guide the conversation towards neutral topics gently.

Conclusion

Reducing the amount of negativity by any amount is a positive sign. Life Coach Ritu Singal always quotes the famous Anand movie dialog, “Don’t look at the moments in life but look out for life in each moment.” You can and must control how do you want to spend your day, with whom, and how. The article discusses some useful ideas that Ritu shared with us to deal with negative people and ways to minimize the amount of negativity you may be exposed to. The challenge is to be alert, on the guard, and practice these nine steps to a way to freedom and optimism.

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