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Our workplace is like a second home to us. After home, it is the second place where we spend most of our time. A place where we stay for 8-9 hours of the day has to be positive and flourishing. But, is your workplace really positive?

Well, workplace problems and concerns have increased tremendously in the past few years. There is not a single office that does not have its own set of problems. The main reason behind so many problems in any office is diversity.

In any organization, be it big or small, people who work are completely different from one another. Different people with different backgrounds come to work at a commonplace. When so many unique ideas collide, problems are bound to happen. 

For instance, in my own company, most of my employees come from very different backgrounds and states. Now, when it comes to generating ideas, there are often debates and time-consuming sessions about whose idea is the best. Most of the time, one person’s idea might not impress the other person leading to problems.  

One of my employee’s life changed when I decided to counsel him. He was a young, dynamic, and highly qualified employee. He was very skilled in his profession and would never make even a single mistake. However, he was quite an introvert. He would stay silent for most of the day. He would come to the office, sit in his cubicle, complete all assigned work, and would never complain about anything or anyone.

But, he would hardly talk to anyone. Even during a break when everyone would chit-chat with their friends, he would sit alone or with the only one friend he had.

Being a life coach, I decided to understand what makes him such a quiet person. So, I called his friend and asked about him. He told me how he only talks about work and not much about his personal life. However, I realized his only problem was a lack of confidence. 

He used to think no one liked him or understood him. He felt his abilities were not recognized or respected by his fellow employees. All these thoughts and tears disrupted his mental peace, and he got depressed. 

I noticed that his level and quality of work started declining. I decided to help him out to overcome stress and give his best at work. I only made a slight change in his routine by asking him to add a little smile on his face every day. Soon, I started seeing him carry a smile and talking to others. Now, even his co-workers would come around his cubicle to talk and chill.

I also further helped him boost his confidence and self-belief. I could see a tremendous difference in his work performance. Not only did he get promoted for great work, but also overcame his depression with a smile on his face.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot completely vanish workplace issues from your organization. What you can do instead is learn how to deal with problems at work. Once you know how to handle problems at work, they won’t be big enough to disrupt your work.

Conflict Management and Resolution

As I said, there is hardly any organization that does not face workplace issues. Every organization faces some or another problem. If you’re facing any problem at work just know that you’re not the only one. Most people encounter common workplace issues at some point in life. 

So, let us discuss some of the most common workplace problems and the art of conflict management at workplace:

• Disturbing Bosses

One of the most significant problems of all time is having a bad boss. There’s an old saying, “ People don’t quit jobs, they quit their managers.” It is enough to illustrate the impact a manager has on its employees. Most of the time, the manager’s way of working does not incline with the working of its employees. In fact, it has been seen that bad managers are one of the top reasons why people leave their jobs.

Many bosses have the habit to constantly interfere with your style of work. They may even taunt, judge, or disrespect you for not doing things properly. One can handle such instances a few times, but when it becomes a regular thing, employees start losing their patience. You may get along at work, but it becomes really difficult to be productive and engaged when you don’t get along with the boss. 

How to deal with tough bosses?

The best way to cope with bad bosses is through efficient communication. The more you’ll burn on the inside, the more you’ll harm your mental peace. You need to be more proactive about anticipating problems and present solutions. 

• Workplace Bullying

Many people think that workplace bullying is a thing of the past. However, to date, many clients have come to me to complain about workplace bullies. People think bullying happens at school with kids. But, it’s not the case. Bullies can affect your life even after school and college. 

In fact, you might not even realize that you’re being bullied at the workplace. From giving weird names to verbal abuse, everything comes under workplace bullying. People often exploit their fellow workers by hiding their stuff, changing their work reports, faking complaints against them, or even excluding them from team projects. 

Workplace bullying is way worse than bullying at school. Workplace bullying shakes you hard and makes a suffocating environment. 

The bully often loses the confidence and strength to fight back. They are too scared to complain. It can also lead to serious mental health problems like depression, anxiety, or panic attacks.

How to avoid workplace bullying?

Most of the time, a person who’s an easy target is targeted. If you want to end bullying, you should start acknowledging it. You cannot just let go of everything that happens to you. Gather the strength and face the issue with confidence. You can discuss the issue with higher authorities, or you may even take legal help if necessary. 

• Lack of Training

When we join an organization, we aim to learn and improve ourselves. We can gain formal knowledge through colleges, but practical skills and knowledge are gained through jobs and internships. However, if a workplace does not provide a learning platform to its employees, it hinders their progress.

One of the most common workplace problems is lack of training. Many organizations do not train their freshers and expect them to work as efficiently as old workers. Training not only helps one learn new things but also helps an employee do his job more efficiently. Many organizations do not even provide the tools that are needed to get the job done. 

What to do in this situation?

If your organization does not provide the tools and training you need to get the job done, then you could directly ask your superiors. You need to explain how your work will improve and become more efficient with the right tools and training. 

• No Raise in Pay

We all know the hike in prices and how living expenses are increasing each day. Most young people leave their hometown to work in other cities and need to manage their living expenses with the little salary they get.

However, when the organization is not ready to raise your salary even after years of service, it starts becoming a problem. The economy is booming, and the job market is getting tight. Most organizations give 1-3% raises that is not enough. 

If your employees will not feel their work deserves the salary they get, their quality of work will decline. Any person would start feeling disrespected when not paid enough. Employers need to pay their employees time and give them the salary they deserve. Moreover, increments are a must for every employee.

How to get a pay raise?

If you want to get paid well for your work or get an increment, You can watch this video. I have shared some great insights and ways you can use to get the pay you deserve.

• Loads of Work

Many organizations have a very bad work culture. By bad, I mean where managers expect their employees to work overtime and extra days. One of the most common workplace problems is the extra workload. No one really likes working extra unless it is very necessary. 

We understand how sometimes there is an extra load of work on employees, and they need to manage it. However, many times companies start exploiting their employees by putting extra loads of work on them with deadlines. It not only affects one’s work quality but also starts affecting the health of a person. No employee would like to work in an organization that sucks the life out of its employees.

What you can do to manage extra work with limited time?

Well, you shouldn’t hesitate to discuss the matter with your manager. If your manager puts a lot of work on your shoulders, then you can get them in a loop. You should ask for their help to prioritize work and get your required resources. I guess no manager would deny helping you. So, simply ask them to prioritize and guide you with work to complete it on time. 

• Discrimination

There are workplaces that very commonly discriminate against people based on their background. I remember one of my family friend’s son went abroad after getting promoted at his workplace. He was really happy and excited to be a part of the international branch. 

However, when he went there and joined the team, he was not welcomed at all. Native people of the organization would not team with him or involve him in any event. So much so, they would deliberately start speaking their native language when he was around, so he doesn’t understand and feels left out. 

This behavior of his fellow workers started affecting his mental health. It is illegal to discriminate against workers based on characteristics like disability, pregnancy, sex, race, or religion. But, it doesn’t stop organizations from doing it. 

No doubt today workplace discrimination has reduced than the past times. However, one should never take bias and discrimination under any conditions.

How to deal with workplace discrimination? 

The first thing that you need to do is talk to your superiors. Many times the higher authorities are unaware of the discrimination taking place at lower levels. You must inform them. You can also check the employer’s handbook to see the policies of the company. It can help you take legal action and pursue a formal complaint. You shouldn’t hesitate from seeking help whenever required. 

• Inefficient team management

The management team is like the backbone of any organization. If the management team works well, a healthy work environment is created. However, if the management team is inefficient, problems start coming at the workplace. 

Work management is highly essential for any organization. For instance, would you like to work at a workplace where you have chatty coworkers all around you? No, but can you do something about it? Yes! 

Most offices are designed to meet everyone’s requirements. When you’re working in a team you need to understand your team members. You might not like every member of your team, but you’ll have to work with them anyways. You see, an organization is not all about you. There are people from different backgrounds and thought processes.

Most people who come to me for workplace counseling complain how they don’t know how to work in a team. It is because they have restricted themselves from adjustment. However, if you feel you’re not treated right or your weak chords are pulled in the team, you should take action.

How to work better in a team?

Teamwork brings dreamwork! When employees who work in a team give their best, wonderful things can happen. For example, consider your body. All the body parts are completely different from one another. But they work together as a team, adjust and fulfill each other’s requirements, and make you who you are. In the same way, teamwork is needed in organizations, and it comes with adjustment and coaching.

• Lack of Motivation

Now, most people think lack of motivation is something they feel on the inside and not a workplace problem. But what if all employees of your organization feel no motivation to come and work?

Lack of motivation is something a person feels, but also something that largely depends on the environment. For instance, if you know some celebration is going to happen, you’ll be visiting the place with full motivation. It is because the aura of the place would be something you’ll like to experience.

Sometimes the work environment is toxic or very negative, making the employees feel like quitting the job. It can due to a boring schedule, boring coworkers, or so much work. In fact, it has been seen that most people feel a lack of motivation when it comes to going to an office. They do not feel like getting up and dressing for work. So, if you feel lethargic about going to the office, then you’re not the only one.

How to feel motivated at work?

To feel motivated at work, you need to bring major changes. These changes are not limited to you but to the entire organization. When I go to organizations for coaching and lectures, I suggest changes in the style of working to ensure employee happiness. If an organization works hard for the employee, just as the employee does for the organization, only then a cheerful work environment can be created.

• Office Politics

Office politics is something you can never get rid of. It has been a significant part of work culture for a long time. No matter how small or big your organization is, there will be some people running politics inside. 

Office politics is like a termite. It slowly kills your organization. One common office politics way is giving endless power to higher authorities and taking promotion chances from the deserving candidates. Misuse of powers and constantly disrupting one person is a typical form of office-level politics. I know many people who had to quit their jobs because they could not grow in an organization that runs on politics. However, quitting is not an option as most organizations have this system. 

How to avoid office politics?

One way to avoid politics is to stay away from it as much as possible. You won’t even get to know when you’ll become a part of it. You cannot succeed or get ahead if you do not entertain the people in power. The best you can do is understand how things at your office work and adapt to them. It does not mean you get into dirty tricks, but learn how to cope with such situations.

• Lack of Flexibility

We all want room for flexibility when it comes to working. As I always say, our jobs are our second home. You cannot stay rigid and fixed at your home. Many organizations do not want to provide flexibility to their employees.

Employees are the biggest asset of any organization. As long as your employees feel free and comfortable working for you, they’ll give their best. Flexibility in terms of leaves, half-days, loans, and other help can help you form long-term bonds with your employees. 

How to offer flexibility at the workplace?

Recently, Zomato came up with giving a ‘period leave’ to its female and transgender employees to end the stigma about menstruation. Such gestures show your concern towards your workforce. It helps you create healthy and long-term bonds. 

Depression is a common disorder that affects millions of people. It is characterized by a major change in the way a person feels, behaves, and thinks. The symptoms of depression vary widely. Some of the more common symptoms of depression are sadness, hopelessness, lack of energy, interference with one’s dreams, sleep disturbance, suicidal thoughts, and aggressive behavior. 

In fact, it is estimated that at least one person in ten will experience some form of depression in their lifetime. This figure includes children who will eventually grow up to be depressed adults. It is a mood disorder that can last a very long time and even into adulthood.

Many studies show that there is a major imbalance in the brain structures of those who suffer from depression. Some of these studies suggest that the way in which the brain functions may be responsible for some of the symptoms. When a person has a depressed brain, the signals sent by the brain are interrupted. These interruptions cause the brain to work overtime and to get the signal that there is a problem. When there is an imbalance in the brain structures, it means that the person will experience many of the depressive symptoms mentioned earlier.

Which Common Signs of Depression can be noticed?

Depression is a condition that affects millions of people around the globe every day. However, very few people are truly aware of the symptoms of depression and how to tell if they are having any of them. It can make treating the condition difficult. Let’s take a look at some of the symptoms associated with depression.

The symptoms of depression include:

1.   Excessive sleepiness

2.   Fatigue

3.   Trouble concentrating

4.   Decreased interest or enjoyment in hobbies or other activities

5.   Increased anxiety

6.   Irritability or restlessness

7.   Loss of interest in sex

8.   Thoughts of death or suicide

9.   Feelings of guilt (especially reactive anger)

10.   Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness

11.   Difficulty making connections

12.   Feelings of unreality or detached from reality

Other signs of depression include headaches, muscle tension, digestive disorders, weight gain or loss, insomnia, frequent infections, muscle cramps or spasms, urinary frequency, increased frequency of urination, decreased sex drive, and feelings of social isolation. These symptoms can be seen on their own or can be symptoms of an anxiety or panic attack. 

Unfortunately, most people who experience some or all of these signs will never seek treatment because they assume that it is just part of the normal aging process. The good news is that once these symptoms are identified, they can be treated and help restore the joy and function in the life of the individual.

What Are Some Common Causes of Depression?

There are many different reasons for depression, and some of them are more common than others. Depression can happen for various reasons. No one really knows what causes it, but in most cases, it can happen for various reasons.

• Major Life Changes  

Some individuals experience depression with major life changes like the loss of a job or a move. It usually does not lead to long-term effects unless it is a very serious event. However, it can cause someone to become depressed, especially if they have not dealt with losing a job before. Depression is also sometimes caused by genetics. If either parent or sibling has been depressed, you may be able to experience it too.

•  Disturbing History   

Certain people are more susceptible to depression than others. These include individuals who have had a history of sexual abuse or alcoholism. If someone in your family has had any of these conditions, you are more likely to experience depression as well.

• Certain Medications

Another reason that someone is more likely to suffer from it is if they use certain medications regularly. The medications may affect the chemical balance of the brain that can cause depression.

• Unwanted Incidents

Some individuals experience depression with major life transitions such as a death or a move. Changes in a person’s brain chemistry as a result of serious stress are another possible cause of depression. Other mental health conditions that might lead to this disorder include chronic fatigue syndrome, post-traumatic stress disorder, seasonal affective disorder, and social phobia. Stress itself can change brain chemistry leading to the development of other mental health conditions.

There may be more than one cause of depression. Each type of depression will have different characteristics and will likely exhibit different physical symptoms.

How is depression diagnosed?

A doctor makes the diagnosis by ruling out other disorders present in conjunction with depression. There are various types of depression including, atypical, dysthymia, bipolar, and major depression. Atypical depression or depressive disorder does not involve alcohol or drug abuse. A person suffering from atypical depression can have the symptoms even without engaging in any form of stressful activity. You should talk to your doctor and tell your doctor about the symptoms. The sooner you seek treatment, the sooner the depression will go.

The reason you must visit a doctor and not simply assume that you have a disorder is that there are quite a few different kinds of disorders that can lead to depression. 

Some of the most common depression diagnoses that doctors make and the reason that they are so common is that symptoms of depression are the same as those of several other psychological disorders. 

Lifestyle Changes to Minimize Depression

No matter what the cause of depression is, one always needs to learn how to live with it. Depression may take time to cure, but subtle lifestyle changes can bring many changes to your life. In fact, simple changes can make it very easy to deal with depression and quicken the healing process.

I believe depression can be cured to a large extent by simple changes in routine activities. If you want to live a more mindful life, then you should adopt these simple changes.

• Follow a Creative Activity: One thing that is very important for people with depression to do is to follow a creative passion. It can be as simple as painting and as complex as programming. Every person has this one gist that they’re really passionate about. However, a person feeling depressed might find it hard to involve themselves in the activities they were once passionate about. Taking out some time each for an activity that you truly love can make a lot of difference. You should get involved in activities like craft, dance, aerobics, or even joining clubs or some voluntary work.

• Avoid Drugs and Alcohol: I know it is a simple change, and you would have probably heard about it already, but trust me, the intake of these substances will only worsen your situation. It has been proven that alcohol and other substance abuse make depression even worse. I have seen so many people take highly risky steps under influence during the depression. There’s simple logic that when you’re feeling depressed, you already feel sad about life. Alcohol and drugs further increase this feeling and can even take a person to commit suicide. Moreover, when you’re on anti-depressant medicines, it is very risky to take drugs.

• Maintain the Pace of Life: I know it is easier said than done, but it is the call of the moment. When a person feels depressed, they are prone to feel hopeless and useless. There are times when you don’t feel like doing anything or you doubt your purpose of living. First, it is a very natural effect of depression. Second, how you react to the situation and such thoughts is what makes all the difference. One thing that I always suggest to my clients is to not let these emotions take-over them. Depression can only be controlled if you have a strong will-power. So, the first thing that you should do is do not let these thoughts stop you from living a normal life. You have to decide a pace for yourself.

• Include Exercise in Your Routine: Now, no matter what physical, mental, or emotional problems we suffer from one thing that should be continued throughout our lives is exercise. Exercise is the base stone for good health. Nothing makes your body feel better than exercising. In fact, exercise has a direct impact on depression. When you exercise, a chemical reaction is caused in the body that boosts mood. WE all know how severe mood swings happen in depression. If you’re suffering from depression, one thing you must do is exercise. You should daily spare at least 15-20 minutes to exercise.

• Eat Healthily: We all have heard, “What you eat is what you become” for the longest time. Even when we know it, we still don’t maintain healthy eating habits. Healthy foods and balanced meals not only improve our health but also our lifestyle. When a person eats healthy, he or she thinks healthy and stays happy. Junk food and processed food often bring sad emotions and unhealthy thoughts to our heads. One should eat fresh and healthy food to keep their body and mind healthy. A healthy body will itself repel diseases.

• Proper Sleep: Lack of sleep is both a cause of depression and a side-effect of depression. Today, people have a very unhealthy lifestyle. People stay awake late at night to work, party, watch movies, or even study. However, our bodies are designed to sleep at night and work during the day. When we do not let our body rest during later hours, we weaken our immunity to a large extent. A healthy person is the one who sleeps on time and wakes-up on time. Now, you must be wondering that you have a deadline or an exam the next day and you need to put in the late hours. However, you can sleep early and wake-up around four in the morning. Many people don’t know this but waking up early is a much healthier option than keeping your body up late at night.

• Set Small Goals: Being a counselor, I have counseled many people with depression or other mental health problems. One common thing that I have seen in all such people is their lack of motivation. People lose hope and often start getting very negative about life. It is very normal to feel this way when you’re going through depression. However, as I always say, you should not let these emotions run your mind. During my counseling sessions, I ensure my clients don’t go through this trauma. Initially, I give them homework to make sure they revise and pursue some goals. Once they start following the process, I ask them to set a goal for themselves. It is a small step and an easy one, but it brings a lot of improvement. People who used to come to counseling with no hope in life now have something to look up to. They come all excited to tell me how they accomplished their goals. If you are not seeing a counselor, you can still set daily goals for yourself and accomplish them. 

• Do not blame yourself: Many people with depression form a habit of constantly blaming themselves. They blame themselves for even the slightest thing that goes wrong. But have you thought about how much negativity it brings to your head? I know it isn’t in your hands to let these thoughts come to your mind, but you can stop them as soon as you see them forming. Instead of saying, “ I knew I would do it wrong,” say, ‘It’s ok, I’ll give it another shot.’ See, things go wrong every day. Many things are in our hands, and many aren’t, but if we start blaming ourselves for everything, we’ll lose self-confidence. What’s meant to happen will happen, and you should not blame yourself for it.

• Socialize with Friends and Family: I know socializing is the one thing depressed people run from. However, isolation is worse. You should never isolate yourself, no matter how much you want. If you do not want to go out with friends or meet new people, you always have your family by your side. I’m not asking you to go out and party with strangers, but you can always have a hearty dinner with your family. Share your thoughts with the people you love, and they’ll understand. You may even get a counselor if you feel no one understands you. Depression is something that grows with isolation, do not put yourself in such situations.

• Yoga and Meditation for Mindfulness: In today’s time, we live in a very fast-paced world. We all are running after goals, happiness, money, love, and whatnot. This hustle has hollowed us from the inside. We might feel good initially, but with time, this lifestyle becomes demotivating and depressing. It is one of the primary reasons why more people feel depressed today than they were in the past. We stuff and clutter our minds with thoughts and emotions that ultimately lead us to depression. So, where is the need to declutter this? It is in our head. We first need to clear our minds, and only then the depression treatment works. Yoga and meditation are two such mindful activities that awaken our soul and refreshes our mind. It allows us to clear negative thoughts and replace them with more happy and positive thoughts. A 10-minute meditation daily is enough to keep you relaxed for the whole day. Yoga and meditation not only help in curing depression but also prevents it from happening in an individual. Make sure you invest some time each day for mindfulness for a healthy mind and body.

How can Counselling for Depression Help?

Counselling for depression can be an essential component of treatment. Depression is a mental health disorder that can have a dramatic effect on the quality of an individual’s life. It is very important to seek help when you feel like you are depressed or are having problems coping with depression. There are many different forms of therapy, and it can be arduous to know which form is best for you. There are many forms of counseling available as well.

Counselling for depression usually focuses on current thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors about life and your personal relationships. That is why CBT was an effective model to utilize in counseling sessions for treating depression. Because CBT is typically regarded as a short-term therapy, it is often a good choice for clinicians when dealing with mild to medium cases of depression that might not require long-term, comprehensive psychotherapy. There are some instances, however, when other forms of counseling may be more appropriate.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one form of short-term counseling for depression that is widely regarded as the most effective. CBT involves identifying negative self-talk and replacing it with realistic positive statements and actions. It helps the patient to realize his or her own capabilities and increases the patient’s self-esteem and confidence. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is also effective in treating mild cases of mild depression. CBT teaches the patient new skills and assists the patient in modifying behaviors that are causing difficulties in life.

Many people underestimate the benefits of counseling in depression. Some people believe taking medications is enough to cure depression. Well, it isn’t! Medication goes hand-in-hand with counseling for the proper treatment of depression.

I have counseled so many people and brought them out of depression. I have seen depression in my own family, and it helps me understand my clients better. An ear to listen is enough to cure more than 50% of your depression. In fact, you make new friends in the form of counselors. Friends who not only listen without judgment but also help you throughout your journey.

Other forms of counselling for depression deal with anxiety. Anxiety can be treated through relaxation techniques and counseling. It can help clients understand how they can change their thought processes so that they are not consumed with worry or fear. 

Counselling also teaches people ways to cope with stress by replacing irrational thoughts with rational ones. It can also teach clients how they can increase their productivity and make other people happy by helping them recognize their strengths. These conditions need professional help and medical supervision in order to be effectively treated. 

Our belief is a big thing. Our belief is the only thing that keeps us going. When a person believes in himself and the things around him, he can acquire anything he wants. However, a person who doubts and analyzes every situation without trusting the process will never achieve his or her goals.

Your belief which is quite often ignored has the power to change the world. It has the power to change your destiny. As Dalai Lama quotes,

 “ With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.”

Now, you must be wondering who I am to talk about self-belief or what brings me here to tell you why you need to believe in yourself. Well, I was one of you unless I started trusting myself. 

When I got married and had kids, I believed it was my life now. I was a housewife back then, and I thought I’m doing what I’m best at doing.

Not that I regret being a homemaker and looking after my daughters, but somehow my potential was being underutilized. 

However, my husband had an untimely demise, and everyone was in great shock. Our business was not doing very well, we were bankrupt with loads of loans on our head. While everyone in my family was wondering who should take over the business, many names were considered. 

But, no one considered me strong enough to be an entrepreneur. When everyone was baffled and worried, I offered to take over our family business. Everyone was stunned and stared at me as if I said something wrong.

People started lashing saying it is a male-dominated business, you’ll find it very difficult to survive. They often said you’ve been a housewife with zero knowledge of business, you won’t be able to handle it. 

Neither my family nor my husband’s family showed any sign of trust in me. However, I didn’t let my self-belief go down. Even when no one was ready to believe in my potential, I knew I believed in myself, and I knew that’s all that matters. 

Even when I had no knowledge of business or exposure to the industry, I never let the thought of giving up come to my mind.

Well, I won’t deny it was extremely difficult. The path I had chosen was not easy, and I knew it wouldn’t even get easy with time. All I had was grit and determination that kept me going. Because not many people had confidence in my service, I had to prove them wrong.

I worked day and night to understand business. I went on international tours, attended meetings, created initiatives, and brought my business back on track.

Today, not only has my business overcome all court cases and loans but is flourishing each day. Now, I look back and think, “ Ritu, what if you didn’t raise your voice back then?”

Our confidence in our body, mind, and spirit allows us to keep going forward in life. Our belief is a strong emotion. What we believe, we train our minds to follow it.

It reminds me of a short story about elephants. Once a man visited a zoo to do photography. While he was roaming around and enjoying, he came across the elephant camp. What he saw surprised him!

He spotted that the elephants were not kept in cages or held by chains. As he was assuming them to be free, he suddenly saw a tiny rope tied to one of their legs. He was amazed to see how a tiny rope was holding them back from escaping. 

He sat in surprise and thought to himself, why the elephants didn’t just break the rope and run. They were huge, and the rope was nothing in front of them. They could use their strength, but they weren’t even trying. He started looking for the zookeeper to know the logic behind this.

He asked a nearby trainer why the elephants were standing and not trying to escape. The zookeeper said, “ When these elephants were very young and small in size, we tied their legs with the same size rope. At that age, it was enough to hold them back as they did not have the strength to break it. 

As the elephants grew up, they stopped trying and were conditioned to believe that they cannot break away from the rope. They still believe they cannot break the rope and so, they do not even try to set themselves free.

Now you see, the only reason why elephants could never set themselves free overtime was just the belief that it wasn’t possible. 

The same goes for humans! People put in efforts for a short time, see no results coming, and give up on trying thinking it isn’t possible. We need to learn that no matter how much the world tries to hold us back, we should never give up.

Nothing is impossible! You need to believe in your mind that you can achieve anything. Believing you can succeed is the first step towards actually achieving something. When you achieve something in your mind, you achieve it in real life. 

Most of us saw a magnificent change in our belief system during COVID. To be precise, if someone would have told us something like this would happen in the future, we could not have believed it. 

Our belief systems were shaken when everything came to a halt. In that situation, right before a year, we had to make a choice.

To either give in, the situation and wait for everything to come to normal, or to utilize most of this time that the universe has given us. Of course, I chose the latter. The Covid phase made me believe in myself and my potential. I created a belief system that anything can be achieved. I remained very open-minded and did not give in to the negativity around the world. I started inspiring people that anything can be created, and it brought me so much happiness to see them changing. 

I always say, “Ordinary people can do great things, only if they believe in themselves. I started doing virtual sessions to motivate people and inspire them to achieve their goals by believing in themselves. 

There are many examples of how people created records and achieved many things by just believing in themselves. 

One such example is Roger Bannister, a British athlete. Bannister was a full-time student and had his main focus on studies. He would use little help from coaches and would prepare himself to race. Many people criticized him for his ‘lone wolf’ attitude and urged him to adopt a proper regimen of training.

However, he believed in his potential. There was a strong convention back then that no one could run one mile in four minutes. It had been carried for ages, and all the athletes started to believe in the same. No one even tried to break the barrier except Bannister. 

Roger Bannister decided to break the four-minute barrier that stood for decades. After many failed attempts and continuous hard work, he was ready to create history. On 6 May 1964, he finished the mile-long race in less than four minutes. History was created and it became the biggest achievement of that time. However, what followed was even more amazing. Then, just a year later, three runners broke the four-minute barrier in a single race. In the last half-century, more than a thousand runners overcame the barrier that was once believed unattainable. 

So, what did actually change? What changed was the mental model. The past runners had a mindset that they could not surpass the four-minute mile. But, when Bannister broke the limit, they saw that they could also do something they found impossible before.

Belief is the ability that helps you find something even in a dark room. When we look around today, we can see how social media is impacting our lives. 

Since you’re all young, you must be using Instagram and Snapchat. Now, every day I find a new ongoing challenge on the platform. People challenge one another, they complete the challenge and further challenge more people, and the circle goes on.

Have you heard about the 100th monkey theory? Well, for those of you who haven’t, it is the idea that once a good number of people copy behavior or follow an idea one after the other, it is captured by the mass automatically. 

A long time ago, when only monkeys existed on the earth, this phenomenon came into existence. The monkeys who used to live near the beach would often feed on sweet potatoes. Now, they would simply take out the potato from sand and start eating it. 

However, one day a monkey took her sweet potato near the water. She realized how sand and grit can be removed from the potato by soaking in water. Soon, her friends and family started adopting the same method. The older generations started learning from the younger generation.

All the monkeys of that island now followed the same method. To some surprise, even the monkeys of other islands adopted the same method. It is how the 100th monkey effect was generated.

You must be wondering why I brought this theory between our discussion. Well, because social media works on the 100th monkey effect. We are stuck on social media and spend most of our day on our phones. 

Not everything that you consume on social media is good for you. When you see people doing great in their lives, you often lose confidence. It is quite natural to doubt your existence when you see people around you settling in life while you’re still confused.

Social media is directly impacting our belief system. We solely believe what we see, which is not even true in most cases. Social media has set a different standard of beauty, fashion, luxuries, lifestyle, and whatnot. When we compare ourselves with social media models, we lose belief in our personality, body, and mindset.

We somehow forget that our belief is all that matters and nothing else. When you look back in history, people believed in themselves and their caliber. 

Have you watched the movie, 3 idiots? Well, obviously who hasn’t watched the masterpiece. When you were watching the movie, what did you make out of the three main characters? 

There was Raju Rastogi who didn’t believe in himself and would indulge himself in all forms of superstitions. He would also pray all night because he didn’t believe in himself. Then, there was Farhan, who did not know what path to choose. He would not take a stand for himself and would stay confused.

Then the leading actor, Rancho aka Aamir Khan. Always calm, composed, and confident. He would never do anything extra because he believed in himself. He would believe in his knowledge and abilities. 

Now, you tell, who out of the three characters was the most successful? 

Do you see how a person’s belief system can change his destiny? 

There are many books that you can read to learn more about self-belief. I personally recommend- Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and Ikigai by Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia.

Rosa Parks was one such name in history who brought revolutionary change because she did not give up on her belief system. On a cold evening of 1 December 1955, Rosa boarded a city bus to return home after a long day of work. 

She took a seat in the middle of the bus, just behind the ‘white’ section. In those days, buses were divided between blacks and whites. At the next stop, more passengers boarded the bus, and there was no seat to sit. When every ‘white’ section seat was filled, the driver ordered the black passengers to stand and let the white people sit. 

However, Parks did not agree to it as she did not believe in discrimination. She was immediately arrested and convicted of violating laws. Not only this, she challenged the legality of segregation knowing the risks it will bring. It was Rosa’s act of bravery that led to the Civil Rights Movement. 

In this way, a single woman’s belief in herself brought long-term changes to her country and her people. 

Now, what most people wonder and ask me is how to believe in themselves when everyone around them changes their decision at every step. It is commonly said in Hindi, “ Jitne muh utni baat.” It means the more people you surround yourself with, the more opinions you’ll get. 

You see, people will always try to stop you from achieving your desired goals. It is up to us how we choose to react. 

Once there was a deaf frog who was really obsessed with climbing trees. Since he was very young, he believed he could not do it. One day, his bursting enthusiasm took over his fear. He decided to climb the tree. 

He immediately went to the jungle to fulfill his dream. As he was on his way, other frogs started following him. They followed him because they were concerned he might hurt himself. So, they decided to stop him. When they reached there, the frog had already started climbing.

When they saw him climbing, they started shouting and warning him to come down. They started jumping to gain his attention. However, the frog was deaf, and when he saw others jumping, he thought they were encouraging him. He thought they were cheering for him, and he started climbing even faster.

Soon, he reached the top of the tree. The other frogs were now ashamed of how negative they thought of their friend. But, the frog being deaf, did not bother to change his confidence and self-belief.

It is exactly how we should be in life. People around you will always stop you or warn you for every step. They can either be concerned about you or just jealous of your success. But, always remember, ‘Your belief is what matters.’

To conclude, 

“ Self-belief is not self-centered. We can only fight effectively for others if we already believe in ourselves.”

Many people claim to be a great leader, but what differentiates a good leader from others is his or her interpersonal skills. A leader is not credible if he is not helping his people grow. One skill that every leader must possess is the skill of developing the people of their team.

If you’re a manager, you must look after your employees. If you’re a political leader, you must look after the people who voted for you. In simple words, as a good leader, you must help your people develop and grow in life. 

A leader who shows concern and helps his team not only professionally, but also personally is far better than a self-centered leader. One can easily make out from the team and their feedback if a leader is efficient or not.

When we think about great leaders in history, one name that strikes our mind is- Barack Obama. Barack Obama has always been a leader in the true sense. He was the 44th US President and served two terms at the office. It was his ace leadership that made people love him. 

He is loved and respected by everyone for his prolific work even today. It is also one of the reasons why the public compares Barack Obama’s leadership with Donald Trump’s leadership. Obama was a people’s man. A leader who stood for his citizens. If you would have noticed his speeches, you’d see that in all his speeches, he’d address people using ‘We’ and not ‘I.’

It is because he always engaged with the people and involved them in conversation. The people would feel heard and contribute. In fact, during the COVID pandemic, various polls were run among citizens. The results showed that most people thought Barack Obama could have been a better leader than Donald Trump to manage the crisis. It is what happens when you help in developing people. They put their trust and confidence in you, even after you leave. 

How does it work?

When someone says a task or a project has been done together instead of single-handedly taking all the credit, every person feels that they were a part of the process. It helps in developing confidence and productivity in people. Barack Obama aptly uses this leadership skill. He made everyone around him involved and heard. So, the next time you have to manage your team, make sure you address them with a ‘We’ and not ‘I.’

When I started business, many people asked and wondered how I could run a business when I had been a housewife for so long. I would always say it is always because of my team. In my company, I would never take a decision alone. I would always listen to my team.

From small decisions to marketing, policies, or employement decisions, I would always take the views and feedback of all my team members. I made sure I listened to each and every feedback and worked according to it. It always made my team feel understood and valued. They became even more productive and involved in the company’s well-being.

Why should you invest in developing people?

Some of you might think that investing in developing people will be a loss if the employees left your organization. There are chances that people might leave, but there are equal chances that they’ll stay. Now, even if they leave, you’d want them to say good things about you to other people.

Being an entrepreneur, I hire many employees regularly. Many times when I ask them why they left their old job, I used to get the same answer.

The team management was not good.

The boss/ manager was very selfish.

I did not see myself growing in the organization.

No one likes to work in a company where there’s no scope of growth. However, when people feel part of a team, they feel growth and develop new opportunities. When you help your people grow, they contribute more towards your organization. In fact, they wouldn’t even think of leaving.

How can interpersonal skills help your organization?

I have seen that most organizations do not prioritize developing people. In fact, many bosses do not even communicate with their staff for months. An organization where the boss hardly takes out time to listen and address the problem of its people can hardly grow.

You can take the example of Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, and many other ventures. He has ace leadership and interpersonal skills. He has strong team-building skills, and under his leadership, he and his team have taken their ventures to newer heights. 

Even being one of the top entrepreneurs in the world, he still asks for continuous feedback from his team. He believes in listening to every ‘single piece of advice.’ He follows a feedback loop to know what he’s doing wrong and how things can be done in a better way. Musk believes that communication should travel via the shortest path to get the job done. Any manager who follows a chain of commands will face poor communication. He thinks that the free flow of information at all levels builds a transparent and stronger team. His insightful and ideal leadership skills have shown prolific results in his organization.

5 Ways to Help in Developing People

If you are looking for ways in which you can help the people of your organization, family, or your loved ones develop into a better version of themselves, then here’s what you can do.

• Make Time for People

The first thing that you can do to help your employees or people develop is taking out time for them. You must take out time from your day to listen or communicate with your employees. You’ll have to make developing people a priority and schedule time to make it happen.

• Add Values to Their Lives

As people work with you or partner with you, they expect you to understand their vision and what is important to them. You should have a clear context about each team member to check their relation and vision. It will ensure that you are developing people in relevant ways and adding value to their lives. You can add value to people’s lives by simple acts like sharing insightful articles or teachings.

• Train People

One very important aspect of developing people is training and mentoring them. Your team might not want someone to teach them, but you can coach or mentor people in innovative ways. Training helps people by raising awareness and encouraging people. You can arrange coaching sessions for people and help them with skills you think they might lack.  

• Draw Team Spirit: One very essential skill for developing people is building team-spirit in them. Throughout our lives, we meet many people. We can either work against them or work with them. Trust me, the results of the latter are much better. When small-small components of a car combine, such a great innovation occurs. Look at your body and how small body parts come together to function efficiently. In the same way, when you learn to work with a team, you drive better results. I personally feel that one of the most essential interpersonal skills is how you collaborate, communicate and work with other people. Not only in organizations, but also in the family, the spirit of respecting and working with others helps a lot.

• Show Confidence in People: A person who’s constantly unmotivated or lashed out for his wrongdoing can never develop. Many times people who do not involve themselves much are ignored by others. Such people might have a lot of potential, but no one trusts them or relies on them. It becomes very arduous for such people to form self-esteem. As a superior family member or employee, you should show confidence in the people around you. Do you remember how in school there used to be one favorite child of the teacher? The teacher would always ask that child to do all her work. The other students would often feel they are not valued. Similarly, sometimes this culture is also followed in offices. It hinders the development of people around you. When you show confidence in someone, they keep your confidence by giving their best. 

• Take Feedback

How would you know if you’re working right or not if you don’t take feedback? Feedbacks are crucial to measuring improvement and satisfaction. You can ask your employees for honest feedback about your leadership and working-style. It’ll help you get an insight into what they think of you and how you can improve. Not only this, but you should also provide constructive feedback to the people around you. Acknowledge them for their good skills and correct them where they go wrong. 

• Listen and Don’t Just Talk: Today, everyone wants to put forward their point of view. No one is ready to listen to other people. Some people know how to present themselves well. On the other hand, there are also people who have a lot to say but don’t know-how. With time, such people start feeling lost in the crowd. They often feel their advice or speech does not bring any change. If you want someone to develop as a person, you need to listen to what they have to tell. Being a life coach and an entrepreneur, I make sure I listen to everyone around me. Even in counseling, we aim to provide our clients a safe space to talk and vent out emotions. It is because when they do so, they feel better and do better in the future. People improve and succeed in life when they have someone to talk to. So, be there for someone. Listen to their ideas and views and help them if they go wrong.

• Motivate People: I don’t think I need to emphasize how important motivation is in developing people. Motivation is what leads mankind. If you’re motivated enough, you can change the world. However, if you’re not motivated, you might not get yourself a glass of water. Motivation is important for everyone around you. As a manager or head of the family, you need to motivate others around you. For instance, if you’re a manager, you need to motivate your team. Instead of saying, “ It’ll be very hard to meet the deadline” say “ We’ll work and finish work before the deadline.” This simple change of thought is enough to keep people around you motivated. When a person is motivated, they feel confident and handle all their problems with grit and determination. 

•  Show Empathy

Everyone wants to work in an organization or work with people who empathize with them. Things are fine when everything is going well. But, as things go wrong you’d look for someone who’d understand your problems and support you through tough times. Now, as a leader, if you remain unaware of the sufferings of your teammate, how can you call yourself a good leader? 

If you want to develop people in your team, then you need to show empathy towards others. 

• Be There For People: One thing that can change the entire world is a helping hand. Today, we are too consumed in ourselves, we do not feel the necessity to help the people around us. People go through a lot each day, heartbreaks, deaths, losses, health issues, and whatnot. Many such incidents can put a lifelong impact on them. However, when you are there for someone, they might not suffer alone. Pain gets a little less when shared. You don’t have to go around to look for people who need your help. Check on your friends and family to ensure they’re doing well. If they aren’t, help them in any way you can. 

Final Word

Interpersonal skills can take you a long way. When I talk about helping in developing people, it is not limited to your workplace. Interpersonal skills play a critical role even in family and social life. The way you treat, talk, engage, and empathize with people says a lot about you. You can have true and real people around you only when you’re helping them grow.

These simple ways of helping people develop can bring colossal changes in anyone’s life. Always remember, be there for people and they’ll stand by you when you’ll need them. A leader who helps other people grow is always admired and respected by everyone.