Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you feel blood streaming fast in your veins when someone disobeys? Do you feel irritated with your child or friends?
Anger is something that has been disrupting mankind for a long time. People always think the other person poked them to be angry. However, I believe the button of anger is in your hands.
We never realize it, but our anger not only disturbs us but also our loved ones. Even if a single person in the family is angry, the whole family’s vibe would be spoiled.
Each day, I meet many clients who constantly complain about getting angry from small instances in life. Well, anger is a very normal emotion that almost each one of us experiences each day. How you deal with your anger is what matters.
I remember, once a young girl came to me who was in her mid 20’s. She was young, confident, and independent. Her life was well- settled. She was working with a renowned IT firm, had a loving family, and an even caring boyfriend.
However, the problem was her anger. Despite having everything perfect around her, she felt she was losing everything in front of her because of her anger.
She was living with her family and had constant arguments and quarrels over petty issues. Meanwhile, replying even 5 minutes late from her boyfriend would trigger her to get angry.
In fact, she knew how her anger was ruining her life but did not know what to do about it. When one of her friends recommended our Mind Training Skill Training, she decided to visit me.
As I started her training and counseling, I understood the root cause of her problem. It was her insecurities that were bothering her. Unable to do anything about the insecurities, she would fight and get angry at other people.
The trick is to manage anger in situations that always trigger you. Within a few sessions, she started seeing differences in her lifestyle. Even her parents and beau could smell the change in her vibe.
Soon, everything started sorting out and working out for her. Today, she is married to her boyfriend and living a calm and anger-free life.
Well, I know this because she and her fiance came to invite me to the wedding. It is such a delight to help people live a happy life.
What is Anger Management?
Anger management is a process that helps people identify their stressors. Through the practice of anger management techniques, people learn steps to stay calm, even in dreadful situations.
People learn to handle tense situations in a more productive, positive, and constructive way. The main purpose of this counseling is to help a person decrease anger. Many emotional and physical arousals that lead to anger are covered in it.
You cannot control the people around you or how their behavior affects you. You can, however, learn to manage your anger and control reactions.
Why do people get angry?
I read in a spiritual context that, “ God does not protect the short-tempered people.” Once, there was a monk who went into the centre of a lake on a boat to meditate. He was deep into meditation, when he felt something hit his boat. He got furious and thought why can’t the other person see he is meditating. He decided not to open his eyes, and continue meditation. While he was meditating, he felt another bump. He got very angry and opened his eyes to fight.
However, as he opened his eyes he saw it was just an empty boat that came with the waves and was hitting his boat. In that moment, he realized it isn’t the other person that brings out anger in us, it is our own thoughts that come out as anger.
There is no one specific cause that leads to anger in a person. Many different events can make someone angry. These events can be internal or external. For example,
Internal events: The internal events that lead to anger include, perceived failures, injustices, college/office politics, frustrations, etc. Bad mental health like, depression or anxiety can also result in anger. Aggression is also a kind of anger where a person prepares to fight threats.
External events: Many external events can make us angry. In fact, external events make each one of us angry at some point. These include loss of a loved one, fighting with someone special or family, property loss, job loss, teasing, humiliation, etc. Most of the time, anger comes out as a result of some verbal arguments, fights, communication gaps, etc.
Symptoms of uncontrolled anger
Trouble in managing anger is quite normal. However, sometimes we feel like our anger is out of the control of our hands. This anger can also sometimes turn destructive. It not only harms you but also the person you are lashing out at.
You may even end up losing friends and family. These are some signs that you should consider anger management counseling or not:
Do you constantly feel like you are holding or repressing your angry feelings?
Do you have regular fights or quarrels with your wife, kids, parents, or friends?
Do you sometimes feel you have out-of-control behavior?
Do you break things around you when angry?
Do you have discord with coworkers?
Do you vent out your anger by slamming doors, shouting, or hurting the other person?
If you feel all of these or more than half of these suit your personality, you should consider anger management therapy for yourself.
How to self-manage anger?
Here are some quick tips on how you can help yourself at times of anger:
Calm Down: I know it isn’t something you are listening to for the first time! However, slowing down at a time when you feel angry can be very helpful. You may deep breathe or meditate to calm your mind.
Be aware of your thoughts: If you learn to identify the thoughts that trigger you to become angry, you can easily get over your anger issues. Being self-aware can itself reduce the anger episodes from your day.
Lifestyle changes: Controlling anger is all about controlling the mind and emotions. You can add simple activities like yoga or meditation to your routine to reduce anger and control your mind.
Pause for a moment: Many times, a particular work or situation affects us tremendously. If you feel a specific event builds your anger, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes. You can do something else like cook, take a walk, listen to music. You’ll resolve the situation more productively.
Use Humour: One of the easiest and most efficient ways of reducing anger is not feeling it at all. Whenever you feel you are entering a situation where your anger will be triggered, try to take the situation in a light humorous way. It will distract your mind and calm you at the same time.
How does anger management therapy work?
Anger management therapy can be extremely helpful to people as it provides a clear set of recovery pathways. People with anger issues learn how to release their emotions in a discomforting situation.
Anger management is all about being more constructive than being destructive. It helps you by finding your triggers. Your counselor would analyze and observe your behavior to learn more about the things that trigger your anger.
Once you get aware of your emotions at the arousal stages, you start learning anger management. A thorough study of your past and present events gives your coach an idea of your body responses.
Your counselor would help you know if your anger issues are defense mechanisms of rather serious concerns. These concerns can be depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns.
Your anger directly affects your physical and mental health. The more frequently you lash out, the risk of capturing diseases increases. Uncontrollable anger can even put you in detrimental situations.
Control of anger is overly critical. You learn how to reduce the stress that further reduces the risk of serious health issues like hypertension, diabetes, or sugar.
Through anger management, you learn about healthy ways in which you can express your anger and frustration. Techniques like impulse control or self-awareness can be helpful.
You can discuss any underlying life problems like relationship issues, parenting problems, corporate issues, personal grudge, etc. with your coach. Your counselor will guide you and help you.
Why our anger management service?
The angrier you get, the more you’ll destroy your own health. Anger is an emotion which if left untreated, will only increase with time. Inadequate display of anger can even cause serious mental or emotional health conditions.
Our anger management service is designed in a way to help people overcome their anger issues as swiftly as possible. People who receive our anger management therapy learn skills and techniques to slow their reaction to anger.
Our innovative approach has helped many people identify the reason for their feelings and how to overcome the shortcomings. Being a Life Coach, I believe the root of anger somewhere lies buried in emotional trauma, grief, past instances, addiction, or other such issues. People generally find lashing out on others as a temporary relief as they are naturally inclined to do so.
However, it somewhere obscures the real cause behind a person’s anger. Well, if this is the case for you, attending our anger management session will be highly helpful for you.
My teachings are full of innovative and constructive ways that make learning and understanding easy. Book your session today to get rid of all the anger from your life.