I have personally faced such a situation and came out victorious.
The untimely demise of my husband changed my life completely.
With two young daughters, a family business to handle, court cases to fight, and crores of loans to be repaid, I did not lose confidence even once.
Amidst all these financial, family, and business traumas when everything looked against me, to raise two daughters single-handedly was a big challenge.
I gathered her courage, and with a wide smile took all the challenges of life. Not only did I take my family business to new heights, but also raised my daughters gracefully.
My daughters today are excellent in all fields of life from academics, to sports, to dance, and to writing books at a very young age.
Challenges of being a single parent
Single parenthood sometimes gets very hard to manage. Even if you are alone, you try your best so that the child does not feel a void in the family. You give your best to raise the child right.
You cannot get tired and say, “I am not feeling well, will you be able to take care of the child?” to your partner. Everything is on you, and we know it is hard.
Even after years of giving your best efforts to the job of parenthood, sometimes the child does not turn out to be the person you wanted them to be. Sometimes as the child grows, he or she feels the absence of one parent. Kids even start questioning why their family is incomplete.
Parental counselling can help you not only understand the emotional needs of the child, but it also enables you to understand your needs and limitations and healthily address them all.
Being a mother herself, Life Coach Ritu Singal often tells her own experience with her daughter. She says, “When my daughter was young, she used to complain about a lot of things like she doesn’t like her school bus driver, her teacher is not good, etc.”
“As most parents would do, I also used to tell her that things don’t work this way in real life. She has to ‘learn to manage’ things, and she can’t be finding fault with everyone.”
She continues, “After a little while I started getting this kind of response from my daughter – ‘You mean I am at fault?’ or ‘Mom, don’t you trust me?’”
This is when she feels like her daughter is going away from her.
One day, after the parent-teacher meeting, when she saw her waiting, all scared and anxious that now “Mumma is going to scold me,” she knew that this is not the time for scolding or punishments as that changes nothing.
She understood that the responsibility of making her daughter a nice person is her responsibility. The importance of parents’ counselling and guidance was evident to her.
Therefore, instead of rebuke, she said to her daughter, “Your teacher likes you, and she said that you are one of her brilliant students, and if you are a little more careful, you can do wonders.”
This positive feedback made her daughter more receptive and responsive and made her understand what was expected from her.
Ritu’s daughter soon started taking care of her things and became way more organized and alert. Today she is working as a successful senior executive in an MNC.
This personal story has one lesson: making a child emotionally healthy and stable is the parents’ responsibility.
Emotionally disturbed children are more vulnerable to emotional, physical, or even sexual abuse by others.
They exhibit more aggression or go into complete seclusion, sometimes without any apparent reasons. They may shout even when not provoked or be awkwardly quiet even when it is provoking.
This behaviour is challenging for the parents and anyone around them, and people start labelling the child as “unruly,” “dumb,” or “psycho.”
With parent-child relationship counselling, it is possible to gain the lost trust, confidence, and mend broken relationships.
The stress of single parenting can sometimes get in the way of your health. It can lead you to anxiety, hypertension, and other such health issues. Furthermore, you might face instances in life where you will feel like everything is going out of your hands. You might think to yourself that you are not a good parent or that you are unable to take good care of your child.