Blog

Positive Youth Development also known as PYD is an international step towards the upbringing, engagement, and recognition of the youth of today productively.

The opportunities for the youth section will be to involve in organizing constructive works in their peer communities like schools, colleges, and family gatherings. 

In this manner, we can utilize their strength to turn into opportunities for fostering positivity and support in society. Skills like leadership and cooperation come into play. 

Objectives of Positive Youth Development 

Objectives for youth counselling services lie in removing at-risk conduct. Such programs aim to help minority youth make better lifestyle choices in terms of profession and relationships. 

The most vulnerable age group is 10-18 years. Similarly, this age group is promoted to practice healthy life skills free of addictions to alcohol tobacco, and squeamish sexual activities. Check out the list below for more details. 

• Violence, Unintended Injuries, and Resultant Mortalities 

Suicide, homicide, and unintentional injuries have been rampant reasons for mortality among adolescents of age 15-18 years. There have been racial discrimination and vehicular crashes as the prominent causes. While the latter is the highest among adolescents of 16-18 years. 

• Alcohol and Drug Addictions 

Adolescence is the age of mistakes as termed by many. So also researchers have reported illicit drug users addicted to marijuana, prescribed or non-prescribed psychotherapeutics, hallucinogens, cigarettes, and inhalants. 

Additionally, other unsafe practices are being followed by this group. Such as there are high rates of indulgence in risky unprotected sexual activity when intoxicated with alcohol and drugs.

This is not all. They have furthermore been pushed to drink and drive. These activities have been reported worldwide by all youth age people. 

• Reproductive Health 

The surge in hormonal levels is high in puberty age when girls and boys hit their reproductive age. So if not guided properly, there are fair chances of such adolescents being involved in sexual intercourse during their school or college days. 

Unprotected and unmindful sexual activity can lead to grave consequences that later on are very regretful. Medically, there is a high risk of catching hold of HIV/AIDS viral infection and other sexually transmitted diseases like Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Chancroid.

These infections have long incubation periods but if detected early through clinical observance can lead to easy treatment and prevention. While if left undetected they can be fatal to both the victims. 

Teen live births and unsafe abortions represent the basic health issues faced by minority youth groups. Hence counselling for youth is a must. 

• Taking Proper Health Care 

The youth is the spine of any country. It is the one that is going to take the commitment for a growing economy. So what will happen if they are engulfed by chronic illnesses since childhood?

Will they be able to give their best? Nations like Japan promote more minors per parent because of their low population. Japanese live more so their population consists of a spaced-out number of adults. 

On the other hand, expanding countries like India with a big number of population have a gigantic resource of youth in their land. So if possessed and preserved, this same youth precinct can do miracles. 

• Social factors 

Social factors like poverty, discrimination based on caste, class, race, and category, and lack of proper education have put a backlash on the growth of a good breed of youth. They are being succumbed to worse situations where they land up in bad habits as discussed above. 

What does Youth Mean?

The class of humans has been classified based on their age group. In which 

• Childhood ranges from 0-9 years 
• Early adolescence from 10-14 years 
• Adolescence from 15-19 years 
• Emerging adulthood from 20-24 years 
• Transition to adulthood in 25-29 years 
• Adulthood after 29 years

Why is this section of society, the Youth, crucial?

I am not saying that we can overlook any section of society like the infants or the elderly for the youth. They have got their equal importance and are connected in many ways. After all, one doesn’t become an adolescent after birth. 

But as you may have by now known, adolescence is the age of spurting energy. You are capable physically and mentally to mend or create anything. So here is why our governments cannot ignore this treasure house. 

1. The 21st century is seeing the largest era of adolescence ever. All thanks to technology it has been able to attract the youth towards it. So we have got life-saving machinery and transport. Life expectancy has increased and the younger generation is more health conscious. 
2. Life-long consequences of what you today as a youngster. Your decisions can make or break your career. It is also true that the attempts made today serve as an experience for tomorrow. Everyone fails but one who has got the skills to redo the chore with more perfection survives. 
3. Splurging growth. You grow in terms of height, weight, and intellect. You consume more since your body metabolism increases. All the restructuring that’s done now will have long-term effects. 
4.  You are the fresh fruit of a tree. So you have all the fire stored in you. Therefore this is the best time to learn new soft and core skills to enrich your success rates in work and life. Behaviour is important when it comes to skills like crowd communication. 

Challenges Faced by the Youth? 

The youth is not protected from the wrath of societal issues like unemployment and poverty. The burden is still high as this is the raw age when everything seems dismantled.

You are new to the business and everyone sees you as naive. Other challenges faced by this section include- 

• Less stability at home and work. Their families start showing dependence on them and their income. Otherwise, the resulting nature of some youths takes them apart from their homes. The chaos and heated arguments in decision-making make the situation more vulnerable. 
• Failure, especially the first ones, leads to the promotion of addiction. Addiction to alcohol, junk food, drugs for entertainment, and tobacco smoking. 
• As said, unemployment is due to fewer vacancies. Degree-oriented studies do not give real-life skills. 
• Environmental degradation hasn’t helped at all. Rather traffic due to smoke clouds makes the most chaos. 
• Armed conflicts have been one of the reasons for the vanishing of this generation. 
• Due to this, there is a mass migration from one country to another of the youth. As you must have seen the case with the Ukraine-Russia Wars, where a lot of youth lost their lives due to the futile war. Ukraine’s economy was shattered and families had to migrate in search of safety. 

What are the latest Youth Development Programs? 

Talking about a developing country like India where there are a lot of scopes to improve and build, the youth shouldn’t hesitate to apply for some of the best counselling for youth fellowship programs.

Prestigious organizations run by the government and private sectors are coming forward to harness the power of youth into positive actions. Their only aim is to make the youth of India thoughtful of their rights and duties as a citizen. 

So let’s know about some of the high-impact programs running in India. Most of these programs support strong unique research startups and work integrated to eradicate any social issue.

They provide good pay, travel opportunities for youth to big educational institutes, and exciting hampers with job offers. 

1. Azim Premji Foundation Fellowship- 
2. Inlaks Fine Arts Awards, 21 
3. Funding for Research Proposals by Azim Premji University 
4. Teach for India Fellowship 
5. Inlaks Shivdasani Foundation Research Grants 
6. Fellowship for Startups by NSRCEL collaborating with Maruti Suzuki India Ltd. 
7. Competition Programs for bio-entrepreneurs organized by C-Camp 
8. Acumen India Fellowship Program 

Read:
50 Passions to Follow for Life
Understanding Depression and How it Touches Your Life
Introducing The Best Life Coach For Massive Growth

How has Positive Youth Development Adopted Changes with the Current Generation? 

Change is the only constant that survives in the long run. So with time when technology, fashion, and food habits advanced, the fellowship programs also had to upgrade themselves.

So without a second word, let’s focus on what additional benefits you find in the latest version of youth development programs. 

1. The focus of counselling for youth agendas is now on the whole child. Instead of just focusing on one sector like either studying or sports, new agendas take care of the whole child’s development. 
2. Mother nature is our saviour of life. So fellowship programs have aimed to benefit both the individual and the environment through biosafety measures. Youth is promoted to think towards bringing more eco-friendly products and services into the market. 
3. The youth is recruited to focus on the developmental needs of the nation. Their challenges are solved more practically and economically. 
4. Engaging the Youth from all sectors is important. Both the urban and rural youth need to be provided with the same facilities and findings. The reach should be widened to be heard till the corner of every village. 
5. Adequate promotion of government and non-government fellowship programs so that no talent goes wasted. 
6. Each village has its assets and competencies which are now being taken seriously. 

Key Features of Positive Youth Development 

Positive Youth is always envisioned towards their goals, however difficult the circumstances. Similar is the case with the daughters of one of the greatest certified coaches, counselors, and authors in India.

Her elder daughter Ishani Singal is an Earthquake Resistant Structural Engineer working in the USA. While her younger daughter, Inayat Singal is pursuing MBBS. Both daughters are all-rounders in every field. One is an author and table tennis gold medalist too. 

To build strong competencies and skills and elevate the opportunities for youth.

1. Promote healthy relationships from all sectors so that the youth could freely get guidance from their role models. 
2. Engaging youth in society upliftment events for their contribution 
3. To activate the brain cells so that the youth is not only limited to the boundaries of his/her books. 
4. Fair access to all youth-friendly activities. 
5. Membership in youth development programs. 
6. Bring positivity to society’s norms. Reality should meet expectations and there should be no discrimination based on old norms. 

How does Youth Contribution Work?

The fellowship counselling youth programs support building an optimistic environment where the minimum bare support from all sections is widely supported. This is done by the following measures. 

1. Increased consent for letting your voice be heard by everyone. There should be no misunderstandings because misconceptions lead to the age gap between generations. Besides, there should be active participation in rule-making. 
2. Boosted participation in youth counselling services and approved organization of school activities, bates, cultural clubs, student programs, and community service. 
3. Youth Volunteering in several government-promoted schedules like marathons, vigilance weeks, and many more. These help in developing a sense of responsibility and crowd management. 
4. Academic and technical expansion through advancement in life and soft aptitudes. Widening the opportunities for youth to build a sense of compassion, serving, and passion. 
5. Family support is the core of any youth’s success. So every program aims to involve the family for encouragement to the youth in pursuing any career she/ he wants. 

What are the Key Skills For Positive Youth Success? 

Positive counselling for youth development lives in the evolution of key soft skills like cognitive skills besides physical strength. Some of them include: 

• Raised order thinking capabilities 
• Fluency in mass communication and interaction with people from different backgrounds. 
• Positive self-vision and eyesight for a brighter future. 
• Self-control and determination 
• Social skills

The favourable self-concept lies in bringing in self-confidence, a sense of well-being, self-efficacy, self-esteem, self-awareness, and optimistic beliefs. 

Self-control through delay in making impulsive decisions out of peer pressure, management of emotions, regulating attitude, and directing focus and concentration on a particular work at a particular time.

Improving opportunities for youth thinking talents through the practice of critical thinking, problem-solving, and decision-making. 

Sweetening healthy relationships between different generations. To induce a sense of oneness, positive youth development programs also include parenting programs for the parents who are going to be their best life coaches and guides. There is fair support for adolescents who are without any family support. 

Youth counselling services are now available in various cities with teachers and guides from top-notch companies and institutes. Finding the best life coach that suits your personality and fulfils your lacunas may be easy if you start finding one today. Since an aware youth is aware of proper time management and doesn’t delay in mending for its future. 

Our work defines our existence – what we are all about. It determines where we spend about one-thirds of our adult life, gives a professional identity, decides our living standard, how we enjoy ourselves, where and how we live and where our children study. Very simply, our work is the fount of all our experiences in routine life.

Quite naturally, an employee always dreams of a workplace, where they can work in a congenial, facilitating and enabling environment, where they can meet professional and personal aspirations. On the flip side, the employer likes to have a proficient, dedicated, sincere and result-oriented worker. Should the twain meet, it can be all hunky dory but sadly, the reality is often starkly different.

Workplace challenges are a frequent stressor in today’s workplace. Obviously, it’s utopian to expect a workplace having roles, expectations, and personalities in perfect tandem, without conflicts and a happily-ever-after scene! But we know how many marriages are actually made in heaven! The reality stings sharp and results in many workplace challenges, which affect the employees and the employer alike. However, the workplace challenge an employee faces is not personal; it mostly turns into an organizational issue, which can create a severe crisis in many cases.

Common Workplace Challenges

1. Training and development

Several companies literally throw the new employee into the ring, asking them to learn on their own via trial and error. This method is unstructured, confusing, dangerous and takes much longer. And there are others, which do provide formal training, but in the wrong way. Both are equally bad for good business performance.

Formal, structured employee training and development related to job description is imperative to get the best out of them. The training should answer the question – how can employees best achieve the objectives attached to their profiles? Besides, the training needs to focus on fostering accountability. Every skill has to be coupled with accountability, which obviously requires the employer to assess the employee’s progress. Many times, the word training never finds another mention once the initial round is over.

Hiring the right trainer for the task is another important requirement for effective training. Often, such training is given by the human resources guys, who know a lot about people management but have no practical exposure to the subject of such training. Therefore, hiring veteran people with substantial job experience is a much better idea to ensure good learning.

2. Employee counselling

Workplace stress is quite common these days with lakhs of cases discovered every year owing to overwork, lack of a defined job role, no professional advancement, stagnation, bullying etc. It is high time workplace counselling took note of this aspect as it affects employee morale and workplace productivity quite significantly.

I recall the case of Mohan Mattu, a CBI officer, who had visited me with many stress-related symptoms thanks to his job. Mohan Mattu faced high pressure due to the high performance demands of the job he was holding. Thus, he had sleep problems, declining appetite, muscle tension and frequent headaches.

He was helped to identify the thought patterns which were contributing to his stress e.g. having unrealistic expectations of himself. In fact, he focused excessively on the small mistakes at work, while totally ignoring the praise and positive feedback he got from superiors. He was made to learn meditation and breathing techniques to reduce the stress levels. With counseling, he was successful in developing a more realistic approach and accepted that mistakes were bound to happen while also acknowledging his commendable performance. In addition, he was advised to create a work-life balance with regular exercising and relaxation.

3. Inadequate employee recognition

Really few employers can really understand the import and the high of giving a pat on the back for something good an employee does. Being thrifty with praise and recognition is a bad, very bad management idea. Though getting commendations and awards at the workplace feels good, frequent Thank You’s and Well Done’s are bigger motivators. The employers have to keep in mind that recognition doesn’t always have to be financial; rather, beyond a point, it hardly ever works. In fact, what matters far more is the value placed by an employer in an employee, frequently shown by tokens of appreciation like Letters of Appreciation, Employee of the Month and Star of the Year prizes etc.. Unlike cash, which is going to be burnt sooner or later, they last a lifetime and are always cherished by their recipients.

A major source of employee discontent in many organizations is the lack of transparency and clarity in the parameters of such recognition. So instead of motivating an employee, it annoys many others. Therefore, the moral is clear – keep it open, accessible, clear and transparent to all.

4. Fitting in a culture

Assimilating into a new work culture is frustrating for the new employee. A good way is to let the new joinee know their coworkers by working in teams. Teamwork serves to build common interests, trust and friendship. Remember, asking a question can cost something, but not asking costs even more; so, if you don’t understand something, ask in a friendly, respectful way.

Your attitude, manners, and work habits indicate you are a professional. It must be kept in mind that there’s no such thing like a one-size-fits-all work culture. There are corporations which encourage casual dressing and come-as-you-please office timings but many more have far stricter rules. Experts recommend an acculturation policy for new joinees else they take many things for granted and flounder.

Office gossip, though inevitable, has spoilt many a career. One can never really know about the real intentions of the guy with whom they gossip. The other one may be actually provoking you to come out with negative comments regarding your boss. Alert: Avoid the trap, stay away. Gossip travels much faster than you may think!

A new employee should wait to earn their co-workers’ trust. Therefore, listen and observe before you suggest any changes. And while at it, be clear, fair and reasonable.

Mistakes always happen, a kind of necessary evil. Admit, apologize and move on as giving excuses can compound the problem further. Try to evolve a solution to fix the problem, forgive yourself and move on.

Suppose while working on a task, due to an unintentional mistake, some issues happened which could delay the target deadline. Remember to

1. Not panic!
2. Admit your fault and assume full responsibility, whether the mistake was unintentional or not.
3. Explain how you are going to lessen the damage.
4. Learn your lessons for the future. They won’t correct the mistake, but you won’t lose the manager’s trust.

5. The “boss”

The “boss problem” is the “boss” of all workplace challenges. These problems can be emotionally and physically taxing. They often emanate from a boss’s working style, very often dependent on their personality. But no less common reason can be the employee’s working style.

In these cases, from the employees’ viewpoint, the first thing to do is find out what the boss does / does not do that upsets them. The next thing is asking why as it can help to examine the problem from both the sides. Make a plan regarding how to talk it out with the boss. Do not blame, accuse or express your anger as it drains energy and creates unpleasant situations. Instead, adopt a collective approach, indicating your organizational belongingness.

6. An altogether different cake

You were hired for a particular department, but with time and changed requirements, your duties have changed, and you are doing work you were never interested in. Fret not, talk to your manager in a calm, collaborative tone and explain how the tasks don’t match the profile of your interest. While doing so, provide a clear picture of your wants and request them to adjust the work accordingly. Their response may or may not favor you, but it can help your manager think of using your skills effectively without affecting your interest in your work.

7. Excessive workload

Sometimes due to a proactive approach on your part or to fill in for someone absent, you may have to take up some extra work. It may become unmanageable as you need to discharge the extra burden besides your own tasks. To tackle it, explain to your manager that your workload isn’t bearable, besides giving specific details about why. You can request them to add a resource for less urgent work or you can propose setting priorities.

8. Coworker Issues

The workplace counselling services need to factor in coworker problems, which rank pretty much at the top of the list. Fortunately, most workplaces have regular, normal people. But, in case your coworker is a difficult person, you’ll have to polish your interpersonal skills a bit. Since you cannot choose your colleagues, the trick is to deal with them tactfully to minimize your own problems. The knack of handling difficult coworkers, bosses and customers is a valuable skill worth learning. Likewise, solving workplace challenges is difficult but is greatly rewarding in the long run.

Some coworkers tend to relish the negativity they create, dislike their job and the company they work for. A coworker may chew gum loudly or bring personal issues to office, while another one may have personal hygiene issues. You need to tackle them boldly if you want to have peace at the workplace. You have to develop the confidence to tell them that these issues annoy you and lower productivity.

9. Communication, Listening Skills

Most employees confront the huge challenge of understanding different communication styles. In general, to be effective, communication needs to be understood properly by the recipient as intended by the sender. The lack of effective communication obstructs team efficiency and has a bad impact on the employee’s trust level.

Although communication problems are related to office obstacles, they mostly imply a challenge of reconciling and managing the different perspectives effectively.

The corporates with open communication channels have happier, more productive and satisfied and creative workers. A tried-and-tested tool is to make employees speak openly and fearlessly with “let’s try to know more”. Besides being a useful tool when you can’t grasp something, it can also help when you think you know what the employee tries to say.

Due to poor communication, deadlines are missed and work gets done shoddily or not at all.  Try to have the following:

An open door policy: With easily approachable managers, the employees can voice grievances whenever needed.

A Clear chain of command: With clear reporting systems, the workers should know who they’re supposed to report in order to avoid confusion and ensure some accountability.

A Clear line of authority: A clear line of authority refers to the number of employees reporting to a specific person. If too many employees report to a supervisor, it will cause confusion and inefficiency.

10. Performance appraisals

In an ineffective performance appraisal system, the boss does all the talking despite not knowing what is being discussed. To make them effective, the employer must recognize the stakes by doing homework. The superior should use the employee’s job description to review the performance besides taking the employee’s personal assessment of his performance and locate the performance gaps. And as a standard practice, the superior must first focus on the employee’s strengths before coming to those areas, which need improvement.

11. Bullying

Bullying doesn’t happen just in schools and colleges. And caused permanent psychological scars, besides  adversely affecting job performance as it doesn’t let the employee put in his best in the job. Mostly, the bully has authority, influence or control and the object of bullying is relatively powerless, who enjoys little control over circumstances with little access to redressal.  

Workplace bullying can range from condescending behavior and gossip to exclusion or violence. First, try to handle it on your own by confronting the bully calmly and telling him his comments/actions offend you and give him a chance for improvement. But you should be prepared for the consequences as bullying can often graduate to higher levels once the perpetrator is exposed.

Make your superiors aware of the good work you have done. It can help you a lot as bullies try to spread rumors about your not doing your job well. The fear of retaliation keeps many employees from reporting such bullying behavior to the employer. Keeping a record of the bully’s behavior and talking to a trusted person in the company can also help.

The 30-something Gunmeet was being constantly bullied by a senior worker, making her work environment stifling and uncomfortable. She developed anxiety before going to office and often skipped office to avoid facing it. But it didn’t help and that’s when she visited a therapist. She was made to realize that she didn’t have to accept the office environment as an unchangeable reality and that she could take steps to be more comfortable. She was asked to speak to her boss about why her work was suffering and was recommended to meet her co-worker and boss. Much fruitful discussion later, Gunmeet began feeling more confident about dealing with her coworkers.

12. Overlooked for Promotion

Imagine working hard for long to get it, waiting to break the news to your spouse. But once more, it’s your colleague who gets it. Being refused something never makes you feel good about it, but you should accept it gracefully instead of complaining about it.

The key to avoiding such issues is in implementing transparent systems in organizations. If the worker knows about the deliverables beforehand and there are regular feedbacks, there will be little reasons for such grouses.   Despite that, if you aren’t happy with such a decision, here is something sensible:  Talk to your boss about what you can do to get a promotion next time around. You may learn many new things about yourself and have an idea about how your superiors perceive you and their expectations of you. To make a strong case for yourself,

1. List down your successes and the major projects handled successfully to let your coworkers know of your accomplishments.
2. Keep learning new skills / updating job skills continuously to remain marketable and in demand.
3. Show initiative and leadership. Present yourself as being concerned and keen on improving the company’s performance.
4. If you believe your boss has allocated much more work than he should, thank yours stars! He has done it as he trusts you with newer responsibilities. So try being proactive and welcome new responsibilities!
5. Try to learn from your senior workers at workplace.
6. Let your boss know about your desire for further advancement.

13. Glass Ceiling

If you think you have gone to the far end with your present employer, you may have reached the “glass ceiling.” Though you can see through the ceiling to the next position, you cannot reach it. Besides working towards promotion, you may combat this effect by

1. Proving your worth to the employer and identifying the traits they look for at promotion.
2. Talking to your seniors about your career goals and how you can hope to achieve them.
3. Fostering relationships with co-workers

You can become future-proof  against all the workplace eventualities by anticipating the future and minimizing the effects of sudden shocks from future events by using the right strategies.

Workplace challenges

A complicated, fluctuating workplace compounds the difficulty of dealing with these challenges. To smoothen it out,

1. Try to keep yourself ahead of the curve
2. Encourage collaboration
3. Improve the opportunities for training and development

• Be ahead of the curve

You have to step ahead of change and accept all that it brings. A good way is to be ready to learn. Read journals, be part of networking groups, get training and keep a close watch on your competitors.

• Encourage collaboration

Collaboration becomes easier if the entire workforce understands the organizational values and mission. Once you establish this, ensure that your ethos and systems reward collaboration over individual success.  The balance between individual strengths and encouraging teamwork is tricky but it is achievable. If you struggle in your workplace, find a way to voice your concern as collaboration begins with honesty.

• Improve the opportunities for training

Irrespective of the roles they play in the organization, your entire workforce deserves relevant and regular training. As a manager, don’t assume that you know best, speak to your employees to know about their training gaps to take suitable action.

 Once you have analyzed the results, make sure that the training opportunities align well with your business goals. By developing a culture of continuous training and development, you can improve employee retention and get an up-to-date and motivated workforce.

Nobody can deny that parenting is not an easy job in today’s world. Earlier things were different but now everything has changed, technology, social life, lifestyle, relationships, every aspect has changed, and so the parenting styles.

I have talked about different parenting styles in my previous blogs. Your parenting style has a huge effect on your relationship with your child. 

Parenting is all about teaching your child essential skills and giving the right values and life lessons. However many parents encounter problems while doing so.

These issues may arise due to various reasons. It could be their thought process, parenting style, mindset, and habits to scold and blame kids for several situations. 

Let us understand this way. I know it’s a modern world, and technology has become a basic need but that doesn’t mean that parents should give smartphones to their little kids. Everything should be at the right time.

I told to my daughters that I will give them the best smartphone once they passed out of 12th and enter a professional college. But before that don’t demand a phone from me. They may have felt that Mumma was being strict at that time, but later they understood that it was the right decision. 

Several parents visit me for parent counseling services because they are facing parenting issues. Sometimes it’s so hurtful when I hear about their issues.

Some are worried because their children do not respect them, kids are hateful toward their siblings, children do not listen to their parents, children feel that their parents are their enemies, they do not love them, and many more unbelievable issues. 

In such situations, parents feel that they have failed to raise their children well. These feelings are making parents stressed and even depressed.

You would not believe even some people who are in their 50s come to me for parent counseling because they are not having good relationships with their children. They feel sad because their children are not like they have expected them to be. 

Parents need to understand that parenting begins right from childhood, there is no use in regretting later when time has passed.

People need to understand the role of parent counseling because it helps both children and parents in many ways. And most importantly, people need to understand the concept of parent counseling before assuming anything. 

What Is Parent Counseling?

When you become parents, it feels like a  blissful experience but steadily you feel that it’s the most demanding job. It is quite easy to teach your little one how to walk, talk and go to the toilet. But when it comes to teaching them values and essential life skills it’s not that easy. 

Many parents tell me that they have read so many parenting books, and watched many parenting tricks videos but still, they are not able to teach their kids what they want or their kids do not share things with them, and many other issues. So here the parent counseling services come in handy. 

Parent counseling intends to stock up parents with knowledge, tools, guidance, and emotional support without any kind of judgment. The counseling services are more focused on how parents influence the dynamics of your parenting and family. 

Parent counseling involves different modalities to help parents better understand their parenting style and then go deeper to understand the impacts of various situations on kids and how parents can transform their parenting styles depending on different situations. 

It’s very simple to understand that if parents are well prepared to resolve and manage their personal issues, they can devote their complete attention to developing, maintaining, and restoring harmony in their families.

Parents hold a greater capacity to make necessary behavioral alterations that can benefit their families. 

Bursting The Myths About Parent Counseling With Life Coach Ritu Singal

• Parent counseling services are expensive. 

Let me tell you something, the value it provides to your family and your relationship with your child, you will feel it is much cheaper. Every single session of parent counseling service is worth it.

• It shows that my family is in crisis and weak.

Getting parent counseling has nothing to do with crises or weaknesses. It’s just that, as parents, you care for your kids, you want to build an amazing relationship with your children and you are taking professional help to strengthen your parenting skills. 

• I can talk to my family and friends so no need for counseling. 

Yes, of course, you can talk to them and ask for suggestions. However, when you consider counseling, you get professional help. You get rid of the emotional load you are carrying as parents without being judged. 

• Counselors blame parents for child’s matters

Parenting therapy is not about blaming anyone, it’s about joining and creating a strong bond between parents and children. a counselor listens to both parents and children carefully without being biased. They are parenting experts not blaming experts. 

Who Should Seek Parent Counseling?

Every family has some issues, arguments, conflicts, and stress. What matters is how you handle and resolve these situations because that teaches the same to your children. Parent counseling services offer you fair-minded support and guidance that help you comprehend and recognize the requirements of your child and family, contributing to healthy relationships. 

I suggest every parent should attend at least one session to develop or enhance their parenting skills and to understand the parent-child relationship even better. However, parent counseling services are necessary if:

• Parents are going through marital issues

Marital matters between parents have an enormous impact on your children. It is highly essential to work on your issues and resolve them to make sure the child does not perceive distorted insights for love and marriage. 

• Parents are suffering from health conditions

If parents are suffering from any kind of illness as well as mental health problems, they may not be able to be completely present with the children. They may not be capable enough to accomplish all their parental responsibilities. 

• Parents are getting separated or divorced

Parental separations and divorces are as much distressing for kids as for the partners. Being a  single parent comes with many challenges as they need to handle their children’s emotional well-being. It may not be easy for children to accept the change. 

• Parents are experiencing violence or abuse

If any of the parents are experiencing domestic violence or abusive relationship it significantly impacts the child. The child may develop fear and tension that further contribute to aggression. 

• Parents are dealing with any kind of loss

When parents are experiencing loss, be it a child, marriage, spouse, business, or job, can pointedly disturb the child just like the parent. In that case, parents feel stressed and may not be able to handle their parental duties. 

• Parents are addicted to alcohol or drugs

Substance abuse is the most common issue across the world. It is most harmful when children see their parents addicted to alcohol or drugs. Such parents are not able to keep up with their parenting responsibilities. It may cause mental health issues in children. 

• Parents are stressed about teenage children’s matters

Sometimes children are the reason for stress, especially when you have a teenage child. They drastically transform within a very short period. Usually, parents are most worried about their teenagers because they are prone to substance abuse, bullying, and mental health. 

• Parents are unhappy about their relationship with their children

Parents may feel that their children are not like they wanted them to be. Children do not behave well, they do not respect their parents, not loving towards their siblings, or do not follow the values you are teaching them as parents. 

What To Expect When You Embark On Parent Counseling Services

Many of them have already heard so much about parent counseling so I can understand what is going on in their minds.

So, let me clear your mind. Here is what you can expect once you begin with parent psychotherapy or parent counseling.

• Learning and understanding different parenting styles

Different parents raise their children with different parenting styles. You can read my previous blog to know more about different parenting styles.

Parent counseling helps you detect your parenting style and how you need to change it depending on the situation. Because as your children grow you need to adapt to their needs, so you need to alter your parenting style. 

• Understanding the family dynamics

Other than parenting style, what impacts your parenting is family dynamics. A parenting coach speaks to parents to comprehend the family, the role of parents and other caregivers and financial status, etc. The parenting expert makes you understand how family dynamics impact your child’s development. 

• Comprehending your child and you as parents

A parent-child counselor helps parents attain a more profound understanding of their children and themselves. They can help parents recognize the issues that the child may not be able to understand or express to them. This way counseling can bring value to the parent-child relationship.

• Presenting clarifications for your choices and decisions

Many parent-child conflicts happen when your child doesn’t agree with your parenting decisions. Most parents who visit me complain that their children are never happy about their parenting choices. It’s the story of almost every house. 

A parenting coach teaches you how to give genuine explanations for your decisions to make children understand better. You learn how to make your child comprehend the thought process behind your parenting choices. 

How Parent Counseling Will Benefit Me And My Family

Seeking expert guidance can help you and your family battle with much bigger challenges. Parent counseling services ensure that every concern is addressed and handled properly.

Parent counseling services help you learn tools and techniques to recognize the issues affecting your children. It prepares you with communication tools to make your child comfortable while sharing anything with you. 

I always said to my daughters that even if they commit a murder, do come to me and tell me. Do not hide anything from me. I am your mother, I am always there for you, and you can share anything with me. I will never judge you, no matter what.

Today, I feel so glad that my daughter is so comfortable sharing every single aspect of their life with me. This comfort doesn’t develop overnight, you need to put your efforts to make your children feel at ease with you. 

So here I am throwing light on the benefits you will get when you begin with parent counseling services. 

> You better understand your inherent parenting style. You will know the good and bad of your parenting pattern, it will help you work through the bad ones and maximize the good ones. 

> You learn conflict-resolving skills and when you practice these skills your child will also learn these skills. It will teach your child that conflicts are normal, you just need to handle them well. 

> Counseling help to get closer to your kid. Teenage kids mostly try to keep their parents at bay, even if you are close to your child, they may not tell you what is happening in their lives. A parenting coach helps train you how to handle such situations. 

> You learn how to correct your child’s behavior without making them feel bad. A therapist can help you recognize grave behavioral issues that can impact your child’s mental health. They work with you to minimize or shut down these behaviors.

> Parent counseling improves communication lines within the family. As I always say, communication is the key to any relationship.

Counseling helps parents and children understand their roles and demonstrate the excellent outcomes of honest communication. It makes them understand one another supportively without coining conflicts. 

> Transform yourself as a confident parent. With parenting counseling, you get an unbiased view of the parenting issues you are facing and ways to handle them smartly.

It makes you confident about your parenting abilities as you learn different ways to comprehend your child’s emotions and needs even better.

Read: Emotionally Disturbed Child

Parent Counseling Services May Take Time 

Some of the parents are in a hurry to get results, even from parent counseling services. Well, I can understand their hurry, they want to make things better as quickly as possible.

You may want to overcome conflicts as soon as you begin with psychotherapy by successfully implementing newly learned skills and techniques. 

Parent counseling is definitely a result driven but noticeable results don’t appear overnight. It may take some time to bear the expected fruits. So have patience, and do not assume that everything will be satisfied immediately. 

Read:

Indian Parenting: Common Mistakes and Solutions
Parenting Techniques for Working Parents
Bringing Up Parents: A Modern Guide to Parenting in the Digital Age

Concluding Words

All parents are good and put their best efforts to raise their kids well. If your kids are not meeting your expectations and you are considering parent counseling services that don’t mean you are failing as parents.

However, that means you want to enhance your efforts toward your parenting responsibilities. Getting into counseling means you care for your children and you want to be the best parent for them. 

Counselling aims to equip you with all essential parenting skills. Do not fall for myths or any misinterpretations instead consult a parenting coach and get answers to your queries. Step out to enhance yourself as a parent and you yourself will know its worth. 

These days, Self Love is the talk of every town. It seems interesting, but a lot of people are not aware of what exactly self-love is about. And most people think that Self Love is Selfish. 

Being a Life Coach I met many people who visit me for counseling, and I am so surprised to see that Self Love is alien to them. A lot of people believe that to live a happy life, they need to get love and acceptance from others. However, it is not the right assumption. 

Self Love is accepting yourself just the way you are, treating yourself with respect and compassion, and nurturing your well beings. And the best thing is, Self Love is a skill you can learn and develop just like self-trust and self-confidence. 

Self Love is not just about loving and accepting yourself, it’s beyond that. In this blog, I am going to take you on a Self Love ride. I will talk about the difference between Self Love and Selfish and everything you need to know about this concept. 

What is Self Love?

Self Love is having elevated affection for your own happiness and well-being. It’s all about prioritizing yourself just like you prioritize your family and loved ones. It means taking good care of yourself and not sacrificing your own well-being to make others happy. 

Self Love involves how you treat yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. The moment you begin to conceptualize Self Love, just imagine how you would feel about yourself, how would you talk to yourself and what would you do for yourself.

It could be different for every individual because every person has particular means of taking care of themselves. Reckoning what self-love is for you is essential for your mental wellness and Successful Life. 

When you start loving yourself, you develop a positive outlook toward yourself as well as others. I will not say that you will never have negative feelings.

Let’s talk a bit more realistically, you may have a negative feeling about yourself for a  few minutes or hours because you can’t control many things. However, that doesn’t mean that you blame yourself or be rude to yourself or stop loving yourself. 

Let’s take an example. I love my daughters even if I sometimes feel annoyed or disappointed with them. Even amid my disappointment, my love for them enlightens the way I connect to them.

It makes me forgive my kids, consider their feelings, get to know their needs, and make decisions that support their well-being. Self-love is exactly similar, which means if you can love others so well why not yourself? 

Self-Love For Beginners:

Beginners can start practicing self-love by accepting themselves with all their flaws and talents. Simply try to accept your emotions and consider your own emotional, mental and physical well-being first. It’s just another way of Personal Development where you work towards your growth. 

• Talk to yourself about yourself, your likes, dislikes, pleasures, etc. 
• Prioritize yourself like your health and happiness.
• Trust yourself, no matter what. Believe in yourself, you can do anything.
• Get rid of self-judgment, and accept yourself just the way you are.
• Be true and nice to yourself, and show empathy to yourself.
• Forgive yourself for your mistakes and for not being nice to yourself. 
• Consume a healthy diet and also enjoy your favorite foods.
• Listen to your body, do not overburden or force it.
• Get regular work breaks to refresh and rejuvenate yourself.
• Switch off your mobile phone and connect to your inner self or your dear ones. 

Why Do You Need to Love Yourself?

When it comes to Self Love, many people ask me, why we need to love ourselves. Is it required? So, tell me one thing, why do you need to love your parents, partners, kids, and your friends? I know I am about to get so many different answers.

Let’s understand it.

This question is coming to your mind because you matured up without any kind of self-love models or no one talked to you about the significance of being good to yourself. That is why you are questioning the value of Self Love. 

Think like this, self-love motivates your positive behaviors reducing the destructive negative behaviors. When you try to develop a mindset where you are accepting yourself with all your flaws, it’s very obvious you are more likely to accept other people with their flaws as well.

When you start prioritizing your happiness, it allows you to say no to the things that you know are not good for you. It helps you build self-compassion. 

Loving yourself protects you from negative thoughts, self-disruption, and forcing yourself too far. It makes you realize that saying no is equally important as saying yes. It encourages self-care which means lower stress and a Successful Life. Self Love allows you to practice self-care, follow your interests and be proud of yourself. 

You know what, when you do not consider yourself you are more likely to be extremely self-critical. You easily fall into perfectionism and people-pleasing. You become habitual to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others because you don’t love yourself.

You steadily start to neglect your feelings and necessities because you do not know your worth. And trust me, it can not let you stay happy as you may make wrong decisions that don’t interest you anyway. 

What Does Self-Love Look Like?

So now you know why you need to love yourself. Next comes, what it looks like. As I said earlier it’s somewhat like Personal Development. These are very simple things you can do in your daily life and onboard your self-love journey. 

Self Love appears like

• Forgiving yourself for your mistakes and mess-ups.
• Saying positive and kind words to yourself.
• Figuring out and fulfilling your own needs and desires.
• Being self-confident and self-assured.
• Not allowing people to take advantage of you.
• Prioritizing your own health, happiness, and well-being. 
• Spending time with positive people who support you and encourage you.
• Avoiding negative people who judge you and spread negativity.
• Pursuing your interests and hobbies.
• Respecting and cherishing your feelings without judging yourself.
• Recognizing your flaws as well as strengths. 
• Letting go of anger and resentments that grip you back.
• Making health-friendly choices and offering healthy treats to yourself. 
• Accepting your flaws and imperfections and working towards improvement. 
• Considering your values and establishing genuine expectations.
• Tracking your efforts and progress and appreciating yourself for them. 

Difference Between Self Love And Selfish

Now coming to the most important question about loving yourself. So many people out there label self-love as selfish. But it’s not true. Self-love can not be selfish, it is just like you love others, you can love yourself too.

Self Reflection or self-likeness is having an appreciation, empathy, and affection for yourself. When you have a great sense of self-love you comprehend your own morals and lovingly treat yourself. 

Unlike selfishness, which is excessive self-interest, egotism, and extreme self-absorption, Self Love is a positive attribute. Loving yourself means you know your brightness and dimness and you are ok with both.

It can be an inspiration for others because it is like a ray of hope in a lonely path and an encouraging outlook in every failure. 

Self Love Can Never Be Selfish

Just because you love yourself and care for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. Think of the other side, if you can love yourself well, you can love others even much more.

No one should feel guilty for loving themselves, it’s the love no you can never receive from others. Just think like that, how can you express true love to others, if you have never gotten the love that you require within yourself? 

Reasons Why Self-Love is Not Selfish:

• It develops a constructive mindset towards yourself as well as the people around you.
• It allows Self-Reflection and allows you to set healthy boundaries with people. 
• It helps you get in touch with your inner self, your emotions, and your feelings.
• It allows you to face your fears, fight them and follow your passions and dreams that can inspire others. 
• It encourages you to be yourself with grace and confidence. 
• It builds self-respect and respect for others as well. 
• It allows you to prioritize your happiness so you have enough time to love and care for others. 

Loving Yourself is The Key Ingredient For A Happy and Successful Life

Self-love is simply being happy, with yourself, for yourself, and for the happiness of the people you love. Liking yourself and not expect others to like you, setting standards for yourself, being a source of motivation to others, and prompting contentment for others. 

Self-love is not selfish, it is deepened with immense caring for self as well as others. It is another way of saying, Let me love myself first so that I can love you even more. I think people consider Self Love as selfish because of social conditioning. 

The Way You Be in Love With Yourself, You Are Teaching Others To Love You.

Right from the beginning, we come across several love stories including sacrifice and compassion, and this way we begin to feel that we should love our family, parents, friends, and partners and somewhere start feeling selfish about self-love. 

The quality of your relationships depends on how you think about yourself. If you are not good to yourself, you do not treat yourself well, and you are loaded with self-doubt and disapproval, believe me, sooner or later it will begin reflecting in your interactions with others. 

Let’s take the example of Lord Buddha. He was born with great wealth and comfort but he relinquished everything in the pursuit of knowledge, self-realization, and self-reflection.

However, that doesn’t mean he did not work on him. Of course, he did. How would it have been possible for him to love other people and his followers if he did not love himself? First, he worked on himself, loved himself then taught others. 

Self-love and self-regard are essential and people who fail to comprehend these concepts mostly struggle with various aspects of life such as relationships, careers, and finances. 

A typical example of self-care is when you board the flight. The air hostess tells passengers that there is an oxygen mask right above their heads. In case of emergency first put on your mask and then help others, even if you are with your kid. 

So the people who say self-love is selfish may also sound selfish to them. However, if you analyze it logically, it makes sense. 

Suppose you are traveling with your 8 years old child and there is some trouble on the flight. The oxygen mask appears above your head and you start panicking about your kid, which is very obvious. You decide to first put the mask on your child but you get faint before you could do something.

The result is you and your child both could not wear the mask and your lives are in danger. Whereas if you had chosen to wear the oxygen mask first, you both would have been safe.

I am not advising you not to think about others, helping others and doing good to others is great but make sure it is not affecting your own well-being. Don’t sacrifice yourself for the sake of others. To help others, first learn to help yourself. 

Self-Love is Personal Development.

Right from childhood, we are taught that we should care for others, show empathy to others, and love our parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends. However, very few children are taught to love themselves as well. We are not taught how to love ourselves, and that is why when we try to focus on ourselves, we may feel guilty or seem selfish.

But it’s not, it’s like developing a new self. When you practice self-love you work for yourself, improve yourself, and develop yourself just the way you desired. 

Self-love is a skill that everybody needs, it’s great for you, your health, and also for people around you. As you practice self-love and self-care you will notice that often you feel restored, and improved, you have better opportunities and amended relationships with others. 

Here are a few hand-picked guides for you to read:

• A Life Coach On Personality Development
• Personality Development- The Perfect Route to Attain Success
• Gain Confidence with Personality Development Counselling

How to Practice Self-Love

There are numerous ways to practice self-love. A particular person may have his own definition of self-love. And you know what, once you start loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are, you tend to explore new ways to lift your happiness and well-being.

However, as a Life Coach, I am sharing my personal favorite ways to love yourself and make yourself feel better. 

• Be mindful of what you think, how you feel, and what you desire.
• Take care of your needs, and nourish yourself with good nutrition, proper sleep, and healthy interactions. 
• Practice self-love meditation to shift your thoughts so that you can focus on new kinds of stuff such as the ways you are good and valuable and a lot more. 
• Be warm towards yourself and others. Being affectionate and loving towards yourself and others, allows you to develop a love-filled environment around you. 
• Focus on the positive traits and goodness in you and your life. Be grateful for the goodness in your life and try writing it every day. 
• Don’t hesitate to say no when it is required. Setting boundaries and saying no is very important sometimes. 
• Please yourself regularly, give treats to yourself for small achievements or maybe without any reason. But make sure it should not lead to self-disruption.
• Nobody is born perfect in this world. So accept your flaws and imperfections without being hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes and improve them rather than blaming and punishing yourself. 
• If someone doesn’t like you, accept it. Some people will like you, some may not. That’s ok, try to let it go and move on with people who actually love you. 
• Self Reflection, spend time with just yourself, being alone, and observing yourself and your life. 
• Try to nurture a copious mindset. It works like a blessing as it allows you to focus on the encouraging and positive aspects of life. 

Concluding Words

Is Self Love Selfish? No, My Dear Self Love is Essential.

Your whole basis starts with you. Talking about your relationship, which can not endure without you. how you treat your relationships and how you take your life is a direct imitation of how you treat yourself, that simply means self-love is necessary. It is an essential skill that everybody should learn and practice.

Just make sure to consider yourself, pamper yourself, nurture your relationship with yourself just like you do with others, and enjoy your life. As I always say, start with baby steps and then keep going.