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 Knowledge is the driving force behind this intellectual world. Without knowledge, there can be no innovation or invention. It is the source of power and authority. The goal should be developing a strong personality. 

But the traditional system of Indian education has failed to meet the ends of the right education system. The right knowledge teaches you to live your life and not just survive. It teaches you to cross the hurdles of life and take every opportunity with a positive mindset. Failures and disappointments come and go but one should never forget his/her learnings.

Here in this article, I will be talking about an important aspect of student education that is most often missed in the hustle and bustle of huge syllabuses. The capability to improve learning skills is the greatest craft that one must not fail to develop in his/her career. 

What is the Learning Strategy that you must know? 

If you want success, you need people, and to know people you must know how to communicate. The lacuna of not being able to become a people person is surely going to play a vital role in building your personality. Leadership skills training is where you learn to mould your team and guide it to achievements. 

It is a thing of the past when one needs to be graduated, to build a business of your own. With the fast pace of this 21st century, the technology-driven world can do anything. 

Generation Z or GenZ have accomplished the most impossible thought domains too. This is the generation of startup ideas. Everybody can be a millionaire and earn just by working from home. 

Do you know the reason why? Because great entrepreneurs have cultured that knack of selling their product or service in the most lucrative manner. Was developing a strong learning capability a part of their curriculum? To some, it may be a yes but to too many, it can be a straight NO. 

This stands as the truth about why learning capabilities have to be a part of our Indian education. Studying regularly is not the only way you gain knowledge, you accumulate wisdom from your surrounding. 

Should You Invest in Learning Capabilities? 

Let me share an example of one of the well-known independent and certified coaches of India, Ritu Singal. Starting from scratch is the time when an untimely misfortune could land your family in great trouble. But, Ritu Singal through her outstanding leadership skills developed with time was able to take her company out of 10 million dollars of debt. She established a lot as a trainer, author, speaker, teacher, and inspiration for a lot of single ladies. 

The greatest investment you can make is towards yourself. Self-development is the most profitable business that has got zero losses and 100 per cent gains for a lifetime. 

The systemic approach comes with freedom in learning capabilities. So I give you solid 7 reasons to invest your time in these learning capabilities 

Let’s take a look at this. These are highly recommended and followed by any best life coach in India or outside. 

• Enhances Proficiency and Productivity in Work: 

What’s better than being able to complete your daily goals and pursuits? You will be able to appreciate yourself. Several learning capabilities lead to the innovation of newer ideas. You will brainstorm your assignments and presentations with fresh ideas. This is where the real creativity in learning lies. 

• Reveal Your Hidden Capabilities 

Who knows if a stand-up comedian room is in you? You don’t know until you endeavour. So to obtain that hidden talent in you, commence exploring. Just don’t sit idly thinking about the outputs. The consequences aren’t in our hands.  

Enjoy leisure time with your family, and friends, and live your forlorn hobbies. They keep you fit besides being in a monotonous work life. 

• Mutual Cooperation 

Office work, school work, college work, and any sort of institution run because of teamwork. There is a head of the institution who guides and instructs his/her employees to follow the same learnings which he/she has learnt in their lifetime.

Employees must maintain mutual partnerships while working and designing. This signifies dedication towards work and profession. Questioning, healthy criticism, and encouragement are the part and parcel of learning capabilities. I won’t say that individual performance is negligible but those individual efforts should result in a successful team outcome. 

• Flexibility 

Training to improve learning skills boosts your confidence and enhances your flexibility during work hours. You will surely be of value to your company through your flexibility in honouring any type of assignment assigned to you however short the deadline may be. 

A star is always celebrated for its presence of mind in the most critical situations. Through good training sessions under the most difficult combinations, I hope office tasks will be a cakewalk for you. 

A well-versed employee can handle virtual as well as physical problems in the office domain. So always attempt to be a problem solver and not a mess-creator. This delivers a bad impression of being careless. 

• Better response at work 

A responsible colleague comprehends their company’s position in the market and applies the principles of entrepreneurship to upgrade the company statistics. Your learning capabilities are sure to keep you one step ahead of traditional statistics followers. Rules are created and recreated. One thing that shouldn’t change is consistency in and at work. 

Human efficiency knows how to reduce labour costs by achieving the same target which was to achieve 10 days in a lesser number of days. Personal experiences work better than pre-installed software-developed results. This is where you can improve learning skills and your mindset comes in handy. I certainly feel that improving learning skills is the perfect access to cost-efficient technology. 

• Stability in Work Domain 

Frequent joining and resignations of employees in a company denote instability in the work culture of that organization. Likewise, frequency hopping between companies puts a bad impression on your CV. 

Your learning sessions should teach you the importance of serving a company not just for monetary goals but also for self-improvement. 

It is normal for newly joined interns to feel uncomfortable and less important in a multinational company. You will be having a hierarchy of great businessmen working above you. But self-confidence is the essence of staying back and surviving the workload. At first, you may not be listened to by your colleagues but constant sincere work and creativity can’t be hidden for long. So keep striving to grab that one opportunity of attending a board meeting where you will be the head presenter. 

Effective Steps Involved in Building Strong Learning Capabilities.

•  Take Up a New Path of Learning 

Do you like listening to music while reading? Or Do you revise your lessons while moving around with books in your hand? Anyway, can be your way. This must have made you believe that those particular ways are the reason behind your constant concentration. This may not be true. You change the way, you start learning in a new way, you get used to it and repeat. 

The actual way to improve learning capabilities is by interacting with it. Unless you start to converse and question, you will always find the books boring and monotonous. Take the help of any best life coach in India who mentors to bring alive the non-living information printed on paper. 

• Choose the one that suits your needs 

Grasping a concept and memorizing a concept on a  different basis. While memorizing, you can remember random thoughts in a go. But how many do you remember in your daily life? Do you apply the concepts of trigonometry in real life? If you can’t apply theoretical concepts in real life, memorizing becomes a lot easier. 

So the preliminary step to improve learning capabilities is through asking the question WHY. You will never forget it and be able to execute the same in real-world issues. 

• Actions speak louder than words 

Can you learn horse riding by just reading books? Evidently No. You have to enter the real field, climb onto the horse and control its movement through your hands and body movements. Your theory clears your knowledge of who is a horse. What breed is it? How to tame one and not appear grumpy before you jump over it? 

Actual field learning capabilities are forever going to guide you. Make a small list of actions and reward yourself for every action accomplished. Get a glimpse of leadership skills training before you start acting. 

• Take inspiration from success and failures 

Developing your style of working in a new environment isn’t easy. So you have to observe your precursors to avoid avoidable mistakes. It is not guaranteed that after observing every nick and trick from your seniors, you will be able to reach the same position in lesser days. Personal efficiency also matters. 

Through learning capabilities, you have to modify and develop your way of approaching a problem. Their way might not suit you. 

• Teaching is the New Way of Learning 

You haven’t understood the thing unless you know how to teach it to someone. Teaching someone interested to learn not only helps the learner gain knowledge but also helps the teacher to be more clear, concise, and accurate in what one has to teach.

To improve learning skills, teaching skills go hand in hand. You can prepare presentations, models, skits and flowcharts to make the subject a lot easier. 

• Don’t let the Difficult Things Take a Toll on You 

Have you ever been in a status where your hard sweat does not seem to yield the usefulness we expect and deserve too? Most of us have been. We can be riddled on a dead-end road with nowhere to go or ask for help. It’s simply you and your struggles. 

But every dusk has dawned. Similarly, every Karma accomplished today is being documented and will pay you soon. You may be in the trough today but if you keep climbing in the right direction, you will surely reach the crest. While if you stop, there is no other way of escaping. 

• Give Breaks to Your Computer 

Here I don’t mean the laptops and desktops you have on your work desk. I mean the biggest human mind. It needs rest. This rest is attained to process the information already in the queue. 

As your muscles, your mind can also get exhausted. So keep it hydrated and full of glucose and adequate sleep.

Short breaks or naps aren’t punishable, so you don’t have to be guilty about that. You and your friend might differ in your working styles and period but an intermittent worker who takes short breaks feels more energetic and vibrant. 

• Test Yourself 

Testing your habits is the requisite way of establishing their validation. You have a lot of information just a click away. But unless and until you test yourself, you don’t know how much you have retained. 

So give weekly tests to your gained data and learn from your mistakes. It is because revision is a part to improve learning skills. 

• Search for Mentors 

Google and Youtube are the new world mentors for many. Every skill can be learned from various mentors who are ready to disseminate their knowledge on these platforms. But virtual teaching hasn’t yet replaced class meetings. 

You can go for leadership skills training classes in your city and get a one-to-one idea from the best mentors and counsellors.

• Never let the Curiosity Die 

Last but not least, we have reached the end of developing a strong personality through learning capabilities. This point is as important as the above ones. Curiosity is the mother of innovation and invention. 

We are humans and not parrots. We cannot repeat anything that our master asks us to do. Our independent thoughts are the reflection of this society. You have all the right to explore new directions and discover a new horizon. 

Conclusion 

I hope you got the idea of improvising your learning capabilities through this article. The main motto was to give you a boost to start. Hurdles will come and people might even mock you for your efforts. But the stronger inner you don’t know to stop. 

Learning and teaching life skills is a noble profession and as the best life coach in India, Mrs Ritu Singal is our first choice. She is a trusted independent teacher and trainer in life skills besides being a motivational speaker. 

The thought of transformation can be disconcerting for some people who run away from change whether they are slight or huge. I know a lot of people who are not ready to accept or bring a change in their life. However, the fact is, change is a vital part of human life. Change knocks on all facets of your life but implementing transformation in your personal and work life can immensely contribute to constructive personal development and better life. 

You must have read or heard life transformation stories of successful people around the world.  Life transformation means being able to establish your new behaviors comfortably. This change harvests new outcomes in your life which make you feel different.

In this blog, I am going to throw light on life transformation. It will help you realize how transforming your life can help you embrace challenges in your life. 

What Do You Mean by Transformation?

We change as we age but certainly, we do not transform. Transformation comprises going ahead of the way you exist, modifying the way you are living, and creating an improved life, career, and opportunities for yourself. You do that by transforming your habits, words, actions, thoughts, faith, visualization, or by combining all of them. 

Personal Transformation Remarkably Shifts Your Self-Perception and Belief. 

It is the process of furnishing yourself with personal, essential, and relational skills to craft an accessible environment at the workplace and maintain a positive outlook in life. You don’t have to change your values, just the way you think, feel, and behave in different scenarios. 

Transforming yourself for the betterment is a brilliant idea. Just focus on what you can control and let go of rest that is beyond your control. Rather than playing the blame game or pointing fingers at others or expecting others to change it’s much better to transform yourself. When you comprehend that you acquire incredible outcomes. 

Let us go deeper through an example. A 19-year-old girl came to me for counseling and told me that she wants to change herself “I dont want to live like this, I want to be happy in my life”. I asked her to share everything in detail, only then I can assess her problem well. So, she told me that 

• She gets affected by others more often.
• Other people’s opinions matter to her more than her own.
• She gets scared of challenges and tough situations.
• She is not able to step out of her ease zone. 
• If someone says bad things to her, she is not able to get over that.

Due to this, she was losing her confidence and performance at work and she was not able to live her best life. She wanted to be content with her career and life. She wanted to be capable to get over what other people say and she could live her life her way. She wanted to transform herself so her life could.

As a life coach, I made her comfortable enough to express every single feeling of her. I knew what she was feeling and what she was looking for so keeping that in mind I crafted customized sessions for her. I worked on her thinking patterns so that she could stay worry-free about what others say. I taught her some proficient tactics to improve her confidence and transform her life and she attained noticeable outcomes after a few weeks.  Now she is living her life the way she wanted to and she is relishing it. 

Internal Transformation Facilitates Your Focus 

Positive change empowers you to turn out to be the person you wish to be. It’s a rewarding experience and a treasured life skill.  For instance, if you can spot the unhappy or unsatisfied areas of your career where you need improvement, your transformed approach contributes to self-confidence and commitment to advancement. Transforming your inner self avoids inactivity and completely changes your life. 

Read: Introducing The Best Life Coach For Massive Growth

External Transformation Shapes You

Some external changes are beyond your control but not all. External circumstances usually have a dramatic impact on your professional life. These changes whether positive or negative equip you with something new. External alterations make you more understanding, and flexible and groom you for the future. It offers new experiences, pushes you forward, and outlines your best self.

Reasons Why You Should Consider Self-Transformation Before Workplace Transformation

• Develop a positive attitude:

As a life coach, I know the value of a positive attitude. It is the key element to embark upon any situation. When I encounter difficult circumstances, what helps me most is my positive outlook toward life and that is one of the major reasons behind my success. 

There are certain risks and possibilities of incurring losses and upsetting processes in organizations. Other than that, competition, flaws, and conflicts exist as a common part of most corporations. Self-transformation helps you equip yourself with vital skills to cope with such challenges and maintain calmness, and a passionate attitude toward work even during tough situations. 

• Prepare for greater responsibilities:

When you have a better sense of passion and keenness for life, there are more chances of better outputs. The enthusiasm you radiate without having self-limiting theories is infectious and fascinates positivity. Such people tend to attract more disbursements and are more entrusted with higher roles and greater responsibilities. 

• Create a healthy environment at the workplace:

When you know your talents and areas of enhancement, you can modify yourself accordingly. This approach helps create an improved interactive environment where everybody can share their opinions and matters of concern without skepticism. It fosters a healthy team spirit that contributes to productivity at the organization.

Why Do You Need to Transform Your Life?

So now the question arises is, ‘Do I need to change my life?’

If this question is roaming in your head, remember change is one continual thing in your life. It may be in any facet of your life. With my years of experience as a life coach my suggestion is, the more you resist it, the more difficult you make your life. Instead of avoiding or running away from change ask yourself, how you can modify yourself to deal with the variations taking place around you. 

Life transformation is just like renovation. Think like you are renovating your life, habits, and behaviors for furtherance.  There are so many things happening every day which impact your life and well-being in both positive and negative ways, right? 

Altering your deeds, responses, and actions to adapt to these happenings can completely change your life, and trust me you will enjoy it more. 

• To ensure an exciting life:

Without change, life will become monotonous. Do you also feel that?

Whether the change is external or internal, undeniably it makes your career and life more interesting. Fitting yourself within the usual flow and the flow of variation ensures a satisfying work experience. For example, if you transform yourself concerning your career you will see a boost in your personal development, growth, and excitement. 

• For better experiences and opportunities

Every single change in your professional life invites you to a new opportunity, experience or advantage directly or indirectly. When you change yourself and learn to manage your failures and take risks, you enhance the confidence level that makes you more capable of accomplishment. Just by transforming your habits, you can expect advancement in your career. 

• To ensure that bad times are not forever

Whether you encourage change or it happens naturally, welcome it as a ticket to get out of any unfortunate or unsatisfied place or situation. When you do that, you find that a bad situation is not going to remain forever and you will grow better. 

• To get over the past and move on:

Sometimes your past experiences hold you back. Moving on is a steady process that should not be rushed. You should take small steps to forget your past. Similarly transforming your life step by step accelerates your progress and you move on to achieve more. Implementing modification in your life kick-starts your journey to personal development. 

• Transformation is equal to advancement:

If you feel that your career development is slow and you are miles away from your goals, look back and find which aspect you need to change. Properly transforming yourself can give a boost to your progress. Maybe you need to change the path to achieve a sense of satisfaction and enjoy your personal and professional life.

Paybacks of Transforming Your Life

• Enhanced personal growth as you learn something new as the change happens.
• You become flexible enough to adapt to new people, environments, and situations. Unexpected changes are not able to affect you anymore.
• You will have improved relationships, careers, finances, feelings, mindsets, and of course life. 
• At every step of life transformation, you reassess your life which makes you look at certain things from different viewpoints. 
• Change strengthens your life standards. 
• Overcoming your fears, discomforts and tough situations in life boosts your confidence and evolves you stronger. 
• Personal transformation eventually initiates progress and achievement. 
• Change comes with new beginnings and delight and pleasure in life. 

How to Transform Your Life to Achieve More Success and Fulfillment

I always believe that life transformation begins the moment you alter the way you perceive a whole lot of things in your life. When you listen to or read some life transformation stories, you instantly feel motivated that you will also transform your life similarly, you will do this and that. However, only 30 % of people take true actions to renovate their life, and the remaining 70% just keep thinking but do not take the required actions. 

There are a lot of ways to completely change your life constructively. Here I am recommending you some most efficient ways that will help you brilliantly.

• Discover why you aspire to transform your life:

Before exploring how to do it better, begin with why you want to do it. Sit relaxed, and ask yourself why you desire to change your life. 

Is it because you watched life transformation stories on youtube recently and you also wish to do the same? Do you want to change yourself to beat challenges and attain your life goals? 

Write down the surfaces of life which you are not happy with. For example, you don’t like your lifestyle, you are not happy with your job or you are not linking the way you feel all the time. Write down the destructive habits or situations that you wish to overpower. Now it’s time to remove the negative things and jump to the next step.    

• Make your mind up to transform your life:

I know it appears to be the most obvious step but it is the toughest segment of modifying your life. I have heard my friends and some relatives talking about how they want to bring significant differences in their life but it never happens. Now the question is why not? Because taking a strong decision is tough sometimes. Some people find it tough and scary.

For instance, you want to alter your life and your dreams may demand you to move to a new city or country where everybody is a stranger to you. You may have to let go of your present friend circle, to create a place for your new friends or you have to stay away from your family for some time, etc. In Simple words, you may have to make some challenging decisions to induce desired change in your life. 

So, ask yourself if you are ready to revamp your life and take a stern decision. Once you decide, everything will seem possible. 

• Establish realistic targets and goals:

When you know what matters to you and what are your dreams in life and you are ready to take action. Set short-term and long-term goals to achieve your dream life. Don’t forget your targets may vary depending on some uncontrollable changes in life. 

You should be flexible with establishing and reaching your goal line. These small steps create the force while you are transforming your habits to bring change in your life. 

• Embrace the discomfort and worries:

Now as you have decided to transform your life for good, get ready to leave your comfort zone. You can’t achieve more by staying within your ease zone. The real meaning of growth is to walk beyond what you have practiced before. Be prepared to crack the new ground. Be committed to your goal more than your cozy zone. 

• Make a vision/dream board:

Do you remember in our childhood, we used to daydream most of the time and think about how to alter our lives? At that age, we were highly skilled at visualizing and daydreaming about what we would be after 15 years or so. At that time anything was possible for us. 

As we grow older, our ability to dream and visualize decreases. Once we begin to feel like making our dreams come true is unfeasible, our dreams get buried somewhere.  Creating a vision board is the best way to start trusting in your dreams again. 

Viewing your dream board every day gives life to your visions. It also works as an everyday reminder to relocate your energy and focus it on your purpose. 

• Liberate the regrets:

Regrets never let you move forward but hold you back always. If you continue thinking about your regrets, you cannot progress in your present and future. You cannot change things that make you regret so it’s better to let go.

• Confront your fears:

Have you ever noticed; how easy it is to ignore your fears? Many times, we just hope that our fear will go away but sadly, it never happens like that. 

If you want to refurbish your life, you have to face your fears so that they can’t control your life. When your fears are governing your life, you feel displeasure and unfulfilled. Whether your fear is loneliness, failure, or anything, it can prevent you from enjoying your life. A life coach can help you learn how you can confront your fears and overcome them. 

• Accept and love yourself:

Always remember that you are the only person who can transform your life. To bring that revolution it’s vital to love yourself. Trust me the moment you begin to accept yourself and like yourself, you will experience the magic. I have counseled several people and suggested the same thing and I have seen the change in their lives. 

I know there are times when you face denial, rejections, and failures and people do not like your choices or you. It happens to almost everybody. Acknowledging and loving yourself despite blaming yourself or being uncompassionate about yourself helps you move forward productively. 

• Eliminate negativity from your life:

Whenever you get negative thoughts due to any reason, ask your head to shut up because you do not need negativity in your life. Negativity stops you from living your best life. Maintain distance from negative people, negative content, and any kind of negativity in your life. Try to develop a positive mindset toward life. 

• Transform your habits:

Your everyday habits build your individuality. No one is born with a set of good habits. You develop good or bad habits through experiences and situations over time. Try to incorporate good habits that keep you encouraged. These small valuable changes can help you deal with challenges. 

Transforming your habits and maintaining a prolific lifestyle can help strengthen your identity and improve your life quality. Waking up early in the morning, doing some exercise every day, meditating, maintaining a journal, eating healthily, walking, and reading are some habits that keep you motivated. 

• Be grateful:

Being grateful allows you to emphasize the positive. Count your blessings and be grateful for them. Your family and friends who love you, care for you, and stand with you through tough times are true blessings in your life. If your colleagues help you at the workplace, express your appreciation. 

Dont take your blessings for granted. Be thankful and live your real life. You can also maintain a gratitude journal. Write down the things you are grateful for. When you direct on the more positive happenings in your life you attract the same. 

How a Life Coach Can Revamp Your Life?

Are you wondering who can help you refurbish your life? Let me help you with that. 

If you are finding someone to support you, and discover your passion, purpose, and spirit to restore your life, a life coach can accomplish each of these and even more.  A life counselor has access to advantageous skills and strategies that can help you transform your personal and professional life the way you desire. 

Watch this video to know more:

Life coaching helps you discover your true self, realize your hidden talents and refine existing ones. They can help you know your worth, practice forgiveness, and let go. Life coaches bring about a whole new person in you as they work on all aspects of your life. Trust me you will realize the outcomes just after one session. 

Concluding words:

Luckily you can transform your life to live it the way you desire. Your power to choose enables you to activate optimistic change in your life. Acting on this power brings incredible opportunities for the betterment. More opportunities encourage you to achieve more and live a happier and more fulfilling life. 

Keep in mind that change doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye, it takes time. Keep going with a positive mindset. I hope now you are ready to renovate your life and make your dreams come true.

To begin with, parenting has never been a cakewalk, even during the best of times. Therefore, one can jolly well visualize the additional responsibilities and risks it brings in not-so-favourable times. Though globally, parenting is marked by many similarities in terms of nurturing, socializing, educating and training, we find considerable cultural differences in parenting techniques. And there is a reasonably sound logic to each one of them. Consider, for instance, the primitive farm-based cultures (which still exist in some parts of the world), in which kids are taken to be economic rather than emotional assets and are, therefore, treated like that only. Similarly, almost all tribes put great store by individual independence in sharp opposition to non-tribal cultures.

The past few decades have seen a renewed interest in the importance and the effect of various parenting techniques on kids, especially in eastern vs. western cultures. This difference in parenting styles is most clearly visible in terms of a child’s academic performance, self-confidence, emotional development, behaviour and coping mechanisms.

Read: Indian Parenting: Common Mistakes and Solutions

The history and culture of a country or area have a great impact on the prevailing parenting styles there – the Chinese culture, for instance, is significantly influenced by the Confucian philosophy of giving respect to authority, devotion to parents, emotional restraint, and education. It’s no surprise, therefore, that Chinese parenting emphasizes training, governance and love. Similarly, the ancient Indian gurukul system, which is premised on a respect for authority, too emphasizes devotion towards parents and elders, learning and education.

Having said that, this is not to dilute the importance of changing times, cultural diffusion and lateral mobility, which affect parenting methods in a big way. For example, Chinese parents are now becoming more sensitive to their children’s emotions and needs and tend to provide them more independence and autonomy. Similarly, in recent years, Western parents have been having higher expectations of their children in matters of academic achievement and monitor their activities more closely.

Types of Parent-Child Relation

Most parenting styles fall into one of these categories:

1. Authoritarian – disciplinarian
2. Permissive – indulgent and
3. Authoritative

Evidently, authoritarian parents are strict disciplinarians, who wield the proverbial stick in parenting quite often. So, punishment here is quite common and the communication mostly happens unilaterally from parents to children. Such a parenting technique involves dictatorial decision-making, with children having absolutely no say in important household matters. Most often, the products of such parenting are rebellious or submissive and docile adults and face problems with authority figures in their adult lives.

My experience with parental counseling tell me that the authoritarian parenting style is quite popular with India’s middle class, with the parents demanding blood, sweat and tears from their children, notably in pursuit of academic excellence. The flourishing private cram schools of Kota, which is a Rs.75,000 crore p.a. industry, is ample proof of the aggressiveness of Indian parents in this regard. On the contrary, such micro-managing of a child’s lives is rarely found in Western cultures, where children don’t bear the crushing burden of parental expectations. Rather, their delicate sensitivities arouse much more debate in the national discourse and on TV channels.

That such authoritarian parenting doesn’t always work is clear from the rising number of the cases of depression and suicides happening among such adolescents. Every child is endowed with some unique talents; therefore, a plain vanilla approach isn’t the done thing as the parents’ job is to provide a conducive environment to allow their children to develop academic and social-emotional skills. Therefore, in an ideal aces scenario, the parenting style should be adapted to suit a child’s unique personality.  

However, keeping “right” and “wrong” aside, we need to appreciate that each culture emanates from its unique history and that parents always have good intentions, at least from their viewpoint. However, we can always think of what’s desirable and what’s not, which actions could lead to a happy, secure and independent child and which ones could lead to stubborn, defensive and angry ones.

On the other extreme of the Parent-Child Relation spectrum are permissive parents, who behave more like friends in a liberal parenting manner. Obviously, this parenting style often results in an adulthood characterized by little, if any, respect for prevailing rules and such adults have frequent problems with law.

The authoritative parenting style, in which the parents fix reasonable boundaries and also provide guidance and give the kids the freedom to decide and learn from their mistakes is considered the most beneficial in developing a well-adjusted personality later.

12 Steps to More Effective Parenting

The challenges parenting throws at us may not only be tough, but may also lack a personal precedent to guide you. Such challenges have stayed with us since millennia; it’s only that they have become much more diverse and difficult with time. As a case, you may never have expected your so-polite kids to turn into angry teenagers. So how do you tread the tight rope that both of you can survive and begin liking each other? Here’s my list of Top Tips, based on my personal experience of raising two (fairly successful) daughters, which could render your life a little more peaceful and less horrible.

Though the challenges of parenting posed by the modern generation are slightly different (fewer children, busier couples and an ever-connected world through social media), the basics remain the same. Every parent has their unique stories about how they brought their children up despite tough challenges. But in a way of speaking, “bringing up children” is passé now as it is the time for “bringing up parents” because the focus has to shift to making parents more competent in raising their children. Research on child growth and development points to the fact that parents have been in the wrong about several parenting practices.

Frequently, a first-time parent lacks any idea of the future journey as a nurturer. But luckily, plentiful help is always available from one’s own parents, friends and the media. An important warning here, though-  their words of wisdom may work but there cannot be any A-creates-B kind of formula here as children come in all shapes, sizes and colours and behave disparately and unpredictably. So, in my opinion, a parent has to “know” the child before trying out any well-intentioned suggestion. And quite expectedly, it’s a hit-and-trial venture until you discover what’s just the right thing for you and the child. So, remember, constant experimentation is the key here.

Though I could fill a weighty tome on this one, here are some of the best-ever words of parenting wisdom I have learnt bringing up two daughters of mine and watching others do it:

1. Listen

The fact is, listening consumes more labour but it is more important than talking. Listening attentively shows your kids that you respect them and it prepares a positive ground for conversation. In the context of a parent-child relation, while talking,

1. Keep your eye contact
2. Intersperse the kid’s sentences with “Hmm” and “Yeah” to show you are, in fact, listening.
3. Do not interrupt them while they are speaking.
4. Get a clarification if you don’t understand what they are saying with “Would you explain again?

Pause to see if you are really getting them. You might as well admit “You seem to be angry as I had lost my temper last night.” There is absolutely no harm in apologizing if you really need to as it not only melts the ice between you but also helps you to create a good example.

Try to know about their friends and your own kid through them. It’s sensible to know the names, addresses and phone numbers of their friends as it can be handy in any emergency. Treat their friends respectfully and don’t use them to “spy” on your kid’s activities as it may create trust issues between them.

2. Love You, always

This gem of parent-child relationship wisdom has been drilled into our heads for eternity, but sadly, very few practice it in reality. Of course, a parent is supposed to correct and guide their kid but the manner in which they express it can create a big difference.

Well, the idea is – love your kid, regardless of how they look or perform or achieve. Besides, avoid blaming or criticizing them, which can weaken their self-esteem and cause resentment. Instead, encourage them, even when disciplining them. For instance, if your kid gets a B on a test instead of the hoped-for A, fret or yell not nor blame their friends. Simply convey that you are fine with it but they should try to do better the next time. And try to ensure they know that though you expect them to do better next time, you will always love them, regardless. Period.​

3. Questioning your Questions

In my practice as a life coach, I often advise my clients to reframe several questions of life so as to see their problems in a refreshing new light. Ditto for parents. Framing your queries right can avoid unnecessary trouble and yield better results. So be very clear about it instead of leaving it to your teenager’s interpretation. For instance, instead, “Why didn’t you respond to my call? You really should have picked it!” try, “I was really being worried that you didn’t answer my call. Can we think of a way to talk after school to know if you are OK?”

An important lesson I have learnt is that focusing on your kids’ behavior is much better than judging or labelling them. So in place of “You are damn lazy,” say “I am so disappointed you didn’t give the garbage to the trash man though it’s your responsibility.”

So far as possible, do not make any generalization. The moment they hear such blanket statements, they will search for examples to refute them. So instead of “You never keep your room neat and clean,” try “I saw you didn’t tidy up your room this morning.”

And while at it, stick to one topic at a time. Avoid using sentences like “I want to talk about your school performance today. By the way, I hated the way that you were talking to your younger sister yesterday.” Instead, try “I wanna really talk about your school performance. Would this evening be a good time for that?”

4. Becoming a Role Model

Actions speak louder than words

Experts on child growth and development are of the opinion that in a parent-child relation scenario, the kids never do what they are told to; rather, they tend to do what they see happening around them. They learn a lot from watching their parents and significant other adults in daily life. So before you lash out in the presence of kids, think of it: Is that how you would like your kid to behave? So you need to become a model of the traits you would like them to develop – honesty, truth, mercy, patience or tolerance. My own grown up daughters often tell me that as growing up kids, they always tried copying each single thing I did– habits, manners, activities, hobbies. So, treat your kids the way you expect others to treat you.

Reading stories and sharing the major points with kids was a practice I learnt from Henna Chaplin’s story. Though Ishani and Inayat would sometimes not take to it so kindly in the belief that I was trying to teach them something. But having said that, the values I tried inculcating did seep through their impressionable minds. 

Another thing I learnt from her was treating kids as mature adults. Though I never pressurized them into toeing my line, I did guide and counsel them. There was a constant fear of their being misled as there was a general belief about our “decent” financial standing. Of course, no one knew about the sixty crore rupee debt I owed, though!

Though I did give my kids all the information they needed and counseled them about the pros and cons of various career alternatives, the final choice rested on them. Today, it gladdens me to see them taking successful strides in their chosen careers.   

5. Carrot ‘n’ Stick

Spare the rod and spoil the child.

Though the above proverb need not be taken literally, the kids need to learn early in life that discipline holds the key to success in life. Of course, in the context of child growth and development, there is a near-unanimity among experts that the use of physical force to discipline a kid is a no-no.  They need to learn acceptable behaviour and self-control by staying within certain limits. Having appropriate rules helps them to understand what you expect and develop self-control. The rules have to be framed in a participative manner and should be clearly communicated the old no-TV-until-homework-is-done, no hitting, no abusing, no teasing rules etc..

I can say confidently that it really works to have a system of giving one warning, followed by consequences like “time out” or losing a preferred activity. The idea works only if

1. you apply not occasionally or arbitrarily, but always. You can’t apply it one day and forget about it the next time. Being consistent tells them about your expectations from them.
2. the “consequence” is potent enough to prevent the unwanted behavior but is not so intimidating that it creates a fear of the parent. For example, “time out” for a default is fine but locking up a kid in a bathroom or depriving them of meals is certainly NOT.
3. you use combine it with the opposite – giving them a reward for meeting the targets

6. Adjusting Your Parenting Style

Experts on parental counselling believe that if your kid’s behaviour “lets you down”, it may be time to run a check on your expectations, which may be unrealistic. Since the environment decisively affects our behavior, we can change the situation by changing the environment. If you always say “no” to your 2-year-old child and fail in your efforts, you may have to change your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits to create less frustration for yourself.

You may need to change your parenting style as what works now may not work a year later. Over time, the kids’ mental faculties grow exponentially and they think, reason, argue and hypothesize with much more efficiency. Many parents consider it to be a sign of rebellion, which is not the case. Instead, you need to respect their developmental process and attendant changes in their opinions and change yourself. For example, teenagers look less to their parents and more to their peers but keep on your part, keep giving guidance and encouragement while allowing them to be more and more independent.

7. Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem

As a life coach, I often share with my clients that kids start cultivating a sense of self as babies as they absorb your tone, body language, and facial expressions. Keep in mind that your words and actions affect their self-esteem much more than anything else. So appreciate their achievements, however small, to make them feel self-confident and proud. Let them do things independently to let them feel capable and strong. And always remember (to not apply) the 3 C’s: Comparison, Criticism and Control.

Comparisons are always and comparing a child unfavorably with others makes them feel unwanted and worthless. For instance, “What a foolish idea!” or “Your actions resemble a small baby’s!” can leave immense psychological scars. So, choose the words carefully and show compassion. Let it sink in their minds that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even though you don’t like what they do.

Adolescents need more attention from parents vis a vis younger children. Therefore, you need to do your best to be available for your teenager, when they want to talk to you or be a part of family activities. Going to movies and events with your teenager conveys a friendly attitude and will let you know more about your kid and their friends.

If you are a working parent, this fact need not make you self-blame. After my husband’s untimely death, I had to don the entrepreneurial hat and I have been managing a 100-strong workforce at our plant successfully. Since the plant is located at a place distant from where I live, I always faced a time pressure for my kids. But careful planning and slick execution did help me a lot. Looking back in retrospect, I can assert that the gift of time spent together and the little things we do together — playing carom, window shopping — are cherished much longer by them than the “bigger” and costlier gifts we give them. 

8. Consistency

To see the desired behavioral changes, you will need to show consistency in discipline, rules and curfews, rewards and punishments. Let your kids understand that everything comes with consequences. Dithering or making an exception may earn you temporary reprieve but things will become more difficult in the days to come. So don’t budge and remember, if you cede an inch, a smart teen will try to take away a metre.

9. Keeping time thieves away

Make them turn off the monster time stealers – mobiles and tablets and ask them to put them away in your bedroom. Of course, you have to agree about the modalities in writing as putting the things in black and white has a certain value. I can recall that despite multiple engagements and the very limited time at disposal, sometimes just ten minutes, may be while waiting for a flight, I devoured every single word of Henna Chaplin’s life-changing real-life story. How Charlie Chaplin’s poor and sick mother Henna Chaplin successfully raised such exceptionally capable kids in the most trying circumstances is beyond imagination. Charlie had learnt from her mother only the sterling human qualities of sifting the good from the bad and handling failures in life.

10. Eat Together, Stay Together, Pray Together

There is a big grain of truth in the maxim. Ample research proves the worth of this dictum – a family that eats and prays together, always stays together. But try not to make meal times an after-dinner debate show. Meal times can be great bonding opportunities as you can feed their bodies and their souls at the same time.

11. Earning Pocket Money

My experience shows that they love it. Since part-time jobs aren’t easily available in our country, let your teenagers “earn” their pocket money. You can allocate them some household tasks – pruning the garden, dusting off the racks etc. Not only will they learn some valuable skills, but will also get a feel of satisfaction over earning some pocket money. Besides, they will learn the importance of hard work and savings in life.  

12. “Bright” is fine but “Fight” is NOT

You cannot have a neat and clean room before they leave for school/ college. Just accept this fact and practice living with it to save yourself great heartburn and keep your sanity. At the most, you can have some basic hygiene rules about bathroom cleanliness and dirty clothes. That’s it! Some battles are not worth fighting.

Skills are one of the most valuable assets in your life and learning skills are one of them. Learning skills can be exercised throughout life to communicate effectively and accomplish your goals. These can incessantly be developed and enhanced to complete your everyday tasks and attain your career milestones.

In simple words, learning skills are the capabilities that help you acquire new things or knowledge. You need to develop learning capabilities if you want to learn more efficiently in less time with great outcomes. These skills are highly beneficial for your professional and personal life allowing you to hone your abilities, and be an amended communicator, smarter employee, and more competent.

Examples of learning skills:

• Time management
• Looking for relevant information
• Reading excellently
• Decision making
• Problem-solving
• Analytical skills
• Being focused
• Asking the precise questions

Understanding Learning Skills:

Learning skills incorporate four Cs- Critical Thinking, Creative Thinking, Communication, and Collaboration. These Cs make learning skills vital for your career, success, and beyond. These skills are closely interrelated and allow you to seek relevant information, accept new perspectives, ask the right questions, and interpret knowledge in several contexts. 

Critical Thinking:

Critical thinking means vigilantly evaluating and digesting the knowledge you acquire every day. In today’s digital world we have an overdose of information around us and critical thinking act as a filter that helps you separate the useful and useless information. It allows you to recognize the pertinent sources of information. It is an influential tool for identifying your strong and weak areas that leads to self-improvement. 

Moreover, critical thinking frees you from preconceptions and restrictive beliefs that clasp you back. You evolve as an open-minded person welcoming new ideas and other people’s outlooks which is essential for acquiring new knowledge.  

Creative thinking

Creative thinking is the ability to develop new concepts and eccentric solutions. Many people believe that creative thinking is a gift but it’s also a skill that you can learn. Creative thinking allows you to try new learning approaches that improve learning skills. 

Creative thinking also reflects through conversation. It is a practical skill that lets you tell interesting stories and make jokes. It works as fuel for novelties and innovations that make you create new bits of intelligence and get new ideas that have not existed before.

Communication:

I always say, communication is the key, be it a relationship, career, or life. Communication is an elementary learning skill; we use it to share information with others. You comprehend others and be understood by them by communicating. And communicating skills come from active listening. 

When you listen to a person with complete attention and without any distraction that is called active listening. Active listeners do not just get advantageous knowledge from others but they are also well regarded. It expands your responsiveness, and understanding of emotions, and improves communication. 

Read: Communication Skills Training – Life Coach Ritu Singal

Collaboration:

Collaboration is an indispensable skill that allows you to work efficiently. When you know how to cooperate and collaborate with others, it contributes to a safe work environment and ensures well-organized teamwork. Collaboration allows you to learn and teach, have team support, solve problems, and get encouraged by people around you. 

How To Expand Your Learning Skills

Learning has no limitations. Do your research, and look for dependable stuff to grip knowledge. You should seek different thoughts to get a larger picture and understand better. Always try to indulge in various content to keep up with modern trends. Don’t restrict yourself in any way.

• Identify where you lack:

The first step you need to take to develop learning capabilities is to find the areas where you need to work on. You may find that you are weak at adaptability, communication, or decision-making. When you know your weakness, accept that and work on that. Be mindful of how your weakness is affecting your work life. 

For example, I found that my weak area is decision-making. Now I will start observing how it is affecting my work and my life. When I am aware of that I can improve it. I will find out a way to work on it and strengthen my decision-making skill.

• Refine your daily habits:

Your daily habits have a strong impact on your career and life. Practice learning skills in your everyday life. Incorporate such habits that contribute to your learning skills and refine the existing ones. By practicing daily, you can implement them in your professional life. 

For example, if you are talking to someone make sure you clarify your point, and if you are not understanding something ask for clarification to avoid miscommunication. Establish sensible goals for your projects or tasks and finish them within that time frame. If you want to work on adaptability, do something getting out of your comfort zone. 

• Get a course:

Taking a community course can help you better understand the world outside your comfort zone. Get a course that you are not easy with. For example, you can consider a public speaking or creative writing course. It will help you nurture new approaches to writing and speaking in public. 

• Take part in volunteer opportunities:

Volunteer activities can help you polish your communication, empathy, and management skills and improve your learning skills. So, whenever you get a chance get to engage in volunteer activities. Look for something you are enthusiastic about and focus on expanding your learning skills.

• Take professional help:

Some people wish to enhance their learning skills but they have no idea how to work for it. Well in that case you should seek professional help. Talk to the best life coach in India and get result-driven consultation. A life coach knows how you can improve your personal and professional life. They can suggest how you can begin to improve your learning skills. 

Learning Aids Your Well-being

We all know that learning benefits our professional careers and lives but do you know that learning also assists your well-being? See how.

• Cheerfulness:

When you maintain a learning habit in your life, you feel happier. It happens because lifelong learning allows you to keep emerging your interests and passions that bring the feeling of joy and pleasure. You learn about the things that interest you, making you feel happy at that moment. 

Constant learning allows you to pursue your professional and personal development goals. And these achievements bring happiness to your life. It also helps avoid bored feelings that also increase contentment.

• Longevity/Endurance:

Ultimate learning behaviours help sustain healthier brain function as you age. Learning activities also slow down the commencement of Alzheimer’s disease. Spending time developing new skills or practicing learning skills helps improve memories, endurance, and life quality. 

Learning Skills Support Your Professional Life

Constant learning particularly workplace learning offers many professional benefits for organizations and their employees. 

• Upskilling:

Upskilling means improving your existing skills. Learning skills lead to broadening of your existing skills which are beneficial for the companies and their employees. Upskilling equips you with the skills and knowledge you require to pursue your professional goals. For example, if you have a learning capability, you are more likely to get a promotion because of upskilling. 

• Adaptability:

Ongoing revolution is forcing working professionals to follow constant learning as it will help them regularly adapt to technology advancements and new knowledge. Being engaged in learning activities means becoming more comfortable to incorporate advancements and it is vital to keep adapting with time. It empowers employees and companies to stay competitive in their industry, pursue promotions and keep pace with technology shifts every day. 

• Innovation:

Learning skills drive innovation that defines new perspectives, technologies, and cultural developments to solve community issues and improve your societies. Innovation is essential for society because new developments help improve our lives. For example, during the pandemic, many innovative minds came up with various innovations to solve several issues. 

Wrapping Up:

Learning skills matter because this help you better pursue your professional career and feel joyful and fulfilled in your life. Learning habits help maintain improved cognitive function when you get older. Continuous learning activities in organizations help them boost their efficiency, profitability, flexibility to change, and likelihood to innovate their industries.