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In general, mental health comprises emotional, psychological and social well-being. It’s all about how we think, feel, and act in life, which profound impacts our overall well being – physical, emotional, and psychological. Taking good care of mental health is vital as it affects every aspect of our life – relationships with friends and family to our performance at the workplace or college. A number of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, substance use disorder and more can adversely affect our mental wellbeing. Though they have wide variations in terms of their severity, they do have a negative impact on our lives.

On the obverse side, our mental well-being is also affected by the situations we face in life. Managing mental health during the COVID-19 times has become even a bigger challenge given the backdrop of severe restrictions on economic and social activities globally. For mental health professionals during COVID-19, there has been a record rise in the number of the mentally sick. With the clubbing of fear and anxiety about COVID-19, emotional distress resulting from illness, bereavement, unemployment, income loss, and loneliness due to social isolation — all of them interact and create or worsen mental health problems on a global scale.

Being a life coach, I get a chance to talk to people having mental health problems. Such problems contribute to the issues they bring to a life coach. The life coach has to work on such issues to realize the most from consultation. As a daughter of a severely depressed mother and a depressive patient myself, I can well understand the personal distress, dysfunction and the social costs of being part of such a household. My mother had developed severe depression when I was a young school-going kid. She kept lying in bed all day long, hardly moving out of it. Though I wasn’t alive to its real nature then, I could still make out that not all was well with her. And at a point in time, her condition worsened to the extent that she had to be administered electro-convulsive therapy to give her some relief. 

When later, my husband committed suicide, leaving behind two teenage daughters and me, a 60-crore debt, hundreds of court cases to fight, and a fledgling textile plant to manage, I too believed I would slip into depression, given my harrowing circumstances and my genetically inherited tendencies. But fortunately,  I was able to collect the pieces of life with my determination and positive attitude to rebuild my life. So much so that I underwent training to become a qualified life coach to help others like me to improve their lives. My own story is a message to the readers of the immense value of hope, optimism and determination to come out of life’s adversities. 

The Cost of Mental Illness

With the COVID-19 pandemic, the issues of mental health have come to the forefront. The pandemic has drastically changed our lives – the way we live, work and enjoy – and has brought in its wake a lot of worries, insecurity, and fears. Virtually none has been left unaffected by COVID-19 and this is why it’s doubly important to be conscious of our mental health needs and make mental wellbeing a top priority.

Unfortunately, despite the huge medical advances, the concept of mental health as part of holistic well-being doesn’t evoke the interest it deserves in the developing world. The indifference is understandable in that such countries are still struggling with the more mundane poverty, hunger, unemployment and given the situation, any talk of mental health is greeted with indifference. Mental health care will get open acceptance only if there are concerted efforts by governments, awareness campaigns and improved economic well-being.                           

From anxiety, depression to substance addiction to dementia to schizophrenia, almost 100 crore people i.e. about 12.5% of the global populace suffers from one or the mental disorder. Just to get a handle on the overall economic, social and psychological costs of mental illness, consider the loss of productivity happening due to two most common disorders – anxiety and depression. They both cost the global economy about US $ 10000 crore annually. Overall, poor mental health is estimated to cost the global economy US $ 25000 crore by way of poor health and loss of productivity, besides causing personal distress to crores of people.

In India, almost all those availing of mental health services pay their bills out-of-pocket. Therefore, the economic case for investment in mental health is quite strong: it has been calculated that every $ 1 invested in treatment for depression and anxiety results in a $ 4 return in terms of better health and productivity. Thus, mental health awareness is the crying need of the hour in larger social and economic interest.

The Meaning of Mental Health

I can tell you that we all need to get a strong handle on “mental health” first before we proceed. Contrary to lay perception, mental health is NOT “the absence of mental disorders or disabilities.” Rather, it is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his/her abilities, can cope well with normal stresses, can work productively, and make a contribution to the community of which they are part. In other words, it is overall cognitive, behavioral, and emotional well-being.

What Can Good Mental Health Do?

Better Quality of Life

As good mental health coaches can tell you, mental well-being brings better quality of life and thereby makes room for greater participation in community building e.g. volunteering, taking up local causes, fundraising etc. A mentally healthy person is also more likely to take to new hobbies, forge new acquaintances, and travel more.

Better Coping

Mental health coaches opine that good mental health makes challenges easier to overcome. While some resort to alcohol / drugs, withdrawal or fighting as coping mechanisms to manage relationship issues, economic worries, job challenges and other obstacles, a mentally healthy person adopts healthier coping mechanisms.

Positive Self-Image

Mental health has a strongly link with self-perception as it can play a big role in promoting self-esteem. Self-confidence indicates a healthy mind. A mentally healthy person focuses on the good they have and is fired by the desire to leading a healthy, happy life.

Healthier Relationships

Sound mental health enables us to have quality time, affection and our friends and family’s support. Besides, since there is no emotional distress, it can be easy to support the people you love in the times of need. Obviously, one doesn’t expect an unhealthy person to support another unhealthy one!

Higher Productivity

All mental disorders, without exception, affect our productivity negatively since we are unable to work to our full potential. A mentally healthy person works more efficiently and produces good quality work.

What Causes Mental Illnesses

Mental health affects all aspects of life, relationships, work and overall health. Conditions like stress, depression, and anxiety can affect mental health and disrupt daily living. Many psychological disorders are rooted in biological variables as well.

Globally, mental disorders are a major cause behind physical and mental distress, bad relationships, poor productivity, absenteeism, poor performance and suicides. Sadly, we do not have much idea about the exact causes of many among these disorders. But medical research makes it clear that most of these problems arise from an interaction of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. One’s mental health is primed by social and financial circumstances, biology and lifestyle. Therefore, good mental health is a function of keeping a delicate balance of various factors and elements of life and the world at large.

• Biological Factors

Many common mental disorders – depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder – are  linked to abnormal functioning of circuits in the brain. They interact with each other by an exchange of neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, melanin etc.). For example, a biological tendency towards lesser production of feel-good hormones has been found to be among the major causes of depression.  Thus, a common approach to  treating such diseases is tweaking the balance of these chemicals with medications or talk therapy to make the brain circuits work more efficiently. Besides, defects/injuries to some areas of the brain are also responsible for loss of memory, loss of speech etc..

• Genes

Several mental disorders are found in families as they are rooted in the way the genes behave. Most such mental illnesses are caused by many genes working together. Exactly how they interact with their environment is quite unique for every person. That’s why making targeted drugs for these diseases is a big challenge before researchers. Revolutionizing mental health care would require more genome sequencing so that researchers can hope to develop more targeted drugs for such disorders.                 

This phenomenon can also explain why some people carrying genes for a certain mental illness don’t always develop it as it results from multiple genes interacting among themselves and other triggers e.g. stress, abuse, trauma. It’s quite akin  to how diabetes develops i.e. one may be born with the genes for it, but whether one develops diabetes later in life depends on environmental factors too like body weight, physical exercise, diet, stress etc.

• Infections

Some infections are linked to brain damage and mental illnesses or their deterioration. For example, the pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorder (PANDAS) attributed to Streptococcus bacteria leads to an obsessive-compulsive disorder among children.

• Brain defects/injuries

Certain defects or injuries in some areas of the brain can result in mental illnesses i.e. damage to the hippocampus, which can result in amnesia or loss of memory. Brain defects/ injuries are also among the causes of depression.

• Pre-natal damage

Traumas occurring at the time of birth like a shortage of oxygen disrupts and arrests early brain development in a fetus, which triggers certain conditions like autism.

• Substance abuse

Long-term substance abuse is linked to problems like anxiety, depression, and paranoia.

• Other factors
• Health issues

Health problems like cancers, diabetes, and chronic pain can cause stress, depression, and anxiety. Likewise, poor nutrition and exposure to toxins like mercury (Minamata) and lead (poor brain functioning) in early age may cause mental illness.

• Psychological Factors
• Emotional, physical, sexual abuse in early age or teenage
• Loss of parent / primary caregiver
• Emotional abuse or neglect
• Poor ability to relate to other people
• Environmental Factors
• Loved one’s death or parental divorce / separation
• Broken families OR dysfunctional family life
• Feeling of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, anxiety, anger, or loneliness
• Switching of job / school
• Socio-cultural expectations e.g. associating beauty with a lean body is a contributing factor in triggering eating disorders e.g. bulimia, anorexia nervosa etc.
• Alcohol / drug/ substance abuse by self/ parents

Common Symptoms

There are no physical test/scans, which can reliably detect mental illness. However, there are some common symptoms that may be the possible signs of a mental disorder:

1. Social withdrawal from one’s family, friends, colleagues    
2. Avoidance of favourite activities/ hobbies
3. Excessive/ under-sleeping                         
4. Over-eating/under- eating
5. Ideas of hopelessness                        
6. Poor energy levels
7. Use of alcohol, nicotine                           
8. Negative emotions, feelings of worthlessness
9. Problems performing daily tasks                        
10. Suicidal thoughts/ behaviour
11. Having delusions                               
12. Excessive Confusion, anger, guilt or worry
13. Frequent mood swings                                       
14. Fighting with family, friends
15. “Hearing” voices

Common Mental Disorders

The most common mental illness types are:

1. Anxiety disorders
2. Mood disorders
3. Schizophrenia and allied disorders

• Anxiety disorders

The most common of mental illnesses. Anxiety-related disorders involve disproportionate worrying which tends to disrupt everyday life. Fear or anxiety in the presence of some objects or situations is a common experience. Patients with such problems tend to avoid exposure to situations, which trigger anxiety.

Common exemplars

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Patients with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) experience excessive anxiety in everyday life situations like routine chores or meeting people. They can also experience other signs like restlessness, fatigue, muscular tension and disruptions in sleep.

Panic disorders

Panic disorder patients suffer from regular panic attacks with a feeling of sudden terror or an imminent disaster and death.

Phobias

Simple phobias

A phobia is irrational, excessive fear of some objects, scenarios, or animals e.g. a fear of spiders or heights.  

Social phobia

A k a social anxiety, it is the fear of being subject to others’ judgment. As a result, such people tend to reduce social exposure.

Agoraphobia

The fear of open places like a marketplace.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

People with an Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) suffer from obsessions and compulsions i.e. persistent, stressful thoughts and the urge for repetitive acts like hand washing or locking door repeatedly, bathing again and again. Unless they do so, they experience a feeling of anxiety and unrest and that’s how, it tends to become a habitual action, causing significant disruption in daily life.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) results from someone experiencing a highly stressful or traumatic event, for example riots, genocide, fire, earthquake, floods, war, ethnic conflict, terrorism etc..

Mood Disorders

A k a affective disorders / depressive disorders. Patients have significant mood changes,  involving either mania – high energy and elation, or a down-in-the-dumps depression. Examples of mood disorders are:

Major Depression

Consistently low mood and loss of interest in favourite activities and prolonged sadness.

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar patients experience unusual changes in mood, energy and activity level. The highs bring a manic phase, while a depressive period brings the low mood.

 Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Reduced daylight triggers it during fall, winter, and early spring months. It’s common among people living in countries located far away from the equator.

Schizophrenia and related disorders

Mental health professionals are unsure of whether schizophrenia is a single disorder or a group of disorders. Typically, schizophrenia appears between 16 and 30 years, with the patient exhibiting significant thought disruption. The individual experiences  fragmented thoughts, with there being no filter to check them and finds it hard to process information efficiently.

Schizophrenia has been seen to be marked by delusions, thought disruptions, and hallucinations, social withdrawal, lack of motivation and an indifferent mood.

 Treatment Methods

Various methods are available to manage mental health problems. Of course, the treatment plan in every case has to be tailored to each individual and what works for one may not work for other one. Most often, a combination of various therapies proves to be most effective in terms of the results they give.

Types of Treatment

Psychotherapy

The talk therapy takes a psychological approach to treating such illnesses. Some such therapies include cognitive behaviour therapy, exposure therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy. Typically, psychologists and psychotherapists use psychotherapy to relieve the symptoms of patients. Psychotherapy is based on the idea of helping people understand the root causes of their problems and enabling them to develop healthy thought patterns with therapy.

Most often, people suffering from anxiety or depression are able to benefit from relaxation techniques like progressive muscular relaxation, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness.

Medication

One of the major factors behind the current revolution in mental health care has been the emergence of medicines.            

A psychiatrist may prescribe tranquilizers, antidepressants, antipsychotics and other drugs to relieve the symptoms of such diseases. Although these medicines cannot cure mental disorders, they relieve the symptoms and help the patients function effectively in daily life.

Some medicines work to boost the bodily absorption of happy hormones like serotonin in the brain. On the other hand, others can boost the overall levels of these chemicals or prevent their degradation or destruction.

Ways to Self-help

A major factor contributing to the overall healing process is the willingness and the readiness of the patient to change their lifestyle to facilitate wellness. Such a change may involve a modification in the patterns of physical activity, sleeping habits, socialization, meditation, relaxation etc.

Risk Factors in Poor Mental Health

Mental health, an important part of overall well-being, determines how effectively we work psychologically, emotionally, and socially to lead a productive and happy life, which enables us to contribute meaningfully to society.

One just needs to look at the millions of broken homes, poor productivity, loss of man-days, absenteeism, personal distress, divorces and suicides to understand how much havoc bad mental health wreaks. Thus, in the light of the role it plays in all our life, it’s vitally important to improve our psychological wellness using appropriate measures.

However, various circumstances may affect our ability to handle the curveballs of life. Some of them are

Childhood Abuse

A child witness to physical assault, sexual violence, emotional abuse or neglect in early years can develop severe mental and emotional distress later. In fact, loving relationships and good mental health in early years are the touchstones of happy, well-adjusted adult personalities. Such early abuse can worsen the risk of getting depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and personality problems in adulthood. Such children may eventually develop problems related to substance abuse, besides others.

Counsult for child counselling

The Environment

Our environment is a contributor to mental well-being as adverse circumstances can affect psychological wellness. For instance, extreme weather conditions or air pollution or natural disasters can increase the likelihood of developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Biology

Our biological makeup also affects our well-being. As said earlier, many such disorders run in families and are transmitted to the next generation e.g. autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia.

Lifestyle

Our lifestyle also affects mental health e.g. smoking, poor diet, alcoholism and drug use, and risky sexual behavior may cause psychological damage by leading to or worsening various psychological problems.

Looking after Your Mental Well-Being

Various campaigns launched on mental health awareness emphasize the preventive steps in keeping good mental health. Maintaining mental health is vital to getting the most out of life. Here are my Top Ten Tips, which won’t cost you much in money or time.

1. Embrace yourself as you are

Accepting and loving yourself i.e. self-acceptance is key to good mental health. You can’t be someone else. Remember, none is perfect and trying to improve oneself is a sensible thing to do. But alongside, love yourself, with warts and all. If you can’t love yourself, no one else will!

2. Talk out

Talk to friends and family about your feelings, which helps you stay in good mental health and deal with tough times. You may not find a solution but often, just talking about a problem makes you feel better.

3. Eat, sleep well

The brain requires many nutrients to keep itself in good shape and work the way other organs do. Taking a nutritious, balanced diet is crucial to physical and mental health. Likewise, try to have enough, quality sleep to keep good mental health.

4. Get going

Regular physical exercise boosts self-esteem and helps you focus, sleep, and feel better by releasing feel-good chemicals. It keeps the brain and other organs in good form and improves mental health.

5. Drink sensibly

Having a few drinks to alter mood or deal with a fear or loneliness is commonplace but it has temporary effects. As its effects wear off, you begin to feel worse due to the way alcohol works on the brain and the body. Look for better ways to deal with such feelings and try to develop more effective coping ways.

6. Keep in touch

Though nothing else can beat catching up with someone face to face, that may not be always possible. Give a call, drop a note, or chat online to keep the communication open. It’s better for your mental health!

7. Ask

Admit that you aren’t a superhuman nor is anyone else. It’s normal to be tired or overwhelmed sometimes when things don’t work out as per expectations. Seek help from family or friends, who may give practical help or at least patient listening. Having a support network in the family and close friends can be a great aid in recovering from a mental illness.

8. Take a break

Take a break from work. A change of scene or place works wonders for mental health. It may be a 5-minute pause from your chore, a 30-minute break or a weekend getaway. But it can also be a longer break i.e. vacation. In most cases, it is more than enough to de-stress you.

9. Enjoy hobbies

Do what you love to. Have some fun and enjoy yourself to beat stress. Do something you’re good at – music, painting, cooking, stitching, carpentry etc. to feel good about yourself and improve your self-esteem.

10. Re-calibrate

Try to change your thinking processes to make them more realistic and work on bad personal relationships contributing to poor mental health.

See how time just flies in no time! If for a company or organization, the work time lost may mean money lost but for people, personally, time lost may translate into an irreparable loss – of opportunities and potential achievements. Time isn’t just money, as a popular airlines’ tagline claims; rather, time is EVERYTHING! To know its truth, simply ask someone who has missed many golden opportunities in life and now regrets it. That opportunity may have been a missed train, which could have landed him in time for a job interview, or could have got him his desired life partner- the possibilities are endless. You may also ask a failed student about the importance of the time he idled away or ask a terminally sick patient who has just been told by the doctor that they have only a few months to live now.

All said and done, time is a unique resource which cannot be had in advance, can’t be  lent or gifted or re-claimed or transferred unlike money. To cap it, time is extremely democratic in the sense of being available to all – in the same amount, not a second more or less.

But quite often in life, you see people cribbing about a shortage of time for the many important things in life they want to do. To tell you the truth, I, too, have been a culprit here as I also used to complain about the lack of time and wished for a longer day until one day…….

You can find the rest of the story in detail in my book A Story Can Change Your Life, too. Today, I interact with clients having similar complaints of being swamped in life, of facing shortage of time, of feeling stressed out due to this shortage. It must be sounding quite familiar. We all too often wish for a longer day to pack all our tasks into it but….

Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day but despite that, many of us keep on wasting it thoughtlessly in meaningless activities. Wasting time equals wasting opportunities and once it slips off our hands, we can’t but regret as it can’t be regained. The tomorrow, the next week, the next month or the next year you have visualized to kick off a particular job/activity at an “auspicious time” may never come. Like they say, the best time to buy  a house was 20 years ago, the second best time is TODAY! The only RIGHT time is RIGHT NOW.  So, it would be unwise to postpone your work for tomorrow as what you really own is just “today”, which should translate into instant action, hard work, sweat, and effort. Obviously, it’s no use striking the iron when cold; the opportune time for doing this thing is when it’s hot.

All thanks my exposure to time management ideas, I am pretty much convinced that our day is long enough to pack all our work, leisure and other needs into it. Had we been having more hours, hypothetically, we would have slowed down accordingly as Parkinson so aptly put it

Work expands to fill the time available.

The magic lies in better time management, which is a crucial skill we all need to master in order to optimize our productivity and create a better, happier, healthier life.

What’s Time Management?

The idea of time management means that you 

• Are organized        

• Prioritize your activities    

• Fix your goals with clarity

• Have good communication skills     

• Plan your time effectively

• Delegate your tasks effectively

• Can manage stress levels well 

Benefits of Time Management

Not managing your time effectively means missed deadlines, poor work quality, greater stress, work-life imbalance and burnouts. But by practicing proper time management, you can hope to find a dramatic 

1. Enhancement in personal and professional productivity    
2. Fall in stress levels 
3. Improvement in work-life balance

Time plays a significant role in our lives. If we better understand the value of time, then it can gain experience and develop skills over time. This motivational video is for all those people who have dreams they want to pursue, time is of the essence.

Why Time Management?

1. More out of less

By controlling how you spend your time, you can achieve more work efficiency. In this manner, you can focus on more important tasks to achieve more work efficiency.

Think of a vehicle driven slowly by someone busy on the phone alongside. Contrast it with another one driven by someone (without any distraction) at an optimal speed to reach the destination faster. You can understand now the difference time management make to your performance.

2. Decision making

As a time management coach, I can tell you good time management can help you take better decisions as you are able to better grasp the impact of your decisions.

Someone bad at time management will feel hard pressed for time and needs to hasten to choose the easier way, as he runs the risk of losing out. Contrarily, good time managers evaluate their situation calmly and choose the best possible option.

3. Success

Good time management will let you meet your deadlines, spare time for everything  in life – work, family, friends, pleasure and yourself, too. More success, better performance, good decision-making and a focus on important tasks are its obvious results.

4. Better Quality of Life

In today’s fast, cut-throat and stressful life, we often tend to miss out on the joys of socialization, bonding, relaxation, and health by paying the price of having material accomplishments. By making time management an essential part of lifestyle, you can achieve much more by freeing up time for the things that make you truly happy. That way, we can reduce stress and get more fulfillment in life.

5. Reduced stress

Good time management can bring down reduce stress and anxiety and heighten your self-confidence as you are able to meet your deadlines easily now. With better productivity under your belt, you are on top of your game.  The reduced stress level enhances your productivity and improves sleep and work-life balance.

6. More time

You have all the time for the things that really matter to you and achieve your goals in life. You have more time for your family and friends, to deepen your bonds and follow your favourite hobbies.

7. More energy 

More energy and motivation is the additional bonus, which lets you focus on the most important tasks. More energy provides you better focus and productivity for a long time. At a personal level, it keeps my energy levels high for better productivity.

 Time Management Coaching 

So many people among us continually struggle with time management, whereas others are pros in this regard. Regardless, to master your time, you should know how to do it the right way. Time can be tricky and so, it’s important to know how to fit your work and daily activities into the time available. Come on, join me for some tried-and-tested time management coaching tips:

The key to time management is allocating the right time to the right activity for optimum time utilization by prioritizing tasks as per their importance and the estimated time needed for completion.

1. Plan

Planning is the first and the most readily proven time management technique in time management coaching. First, it helps you properly organize your work. Second, it gives you a detailed insight into all that you need to do. Therefore, if you plan your daily, weekly, or monthly tasks, accomplishing them becomes far easier.

Try to use the tools listed below to plan and organize your work:

1. Calendars, personal organizers (digital or paper) 
2. Time management apps and tools
3. To-do-lists
4. Post-it-notes, notepads, and other time managers

You may mix and match them to arrive at your own personal time management formula. 

2. 1, 2, 3, 4…..

Any time management coach will tell you time management obviously means spending more time on priorities, besides not wasting time on non-priority tasks. Ask yourself:

• What’re your goals?
• What’re the results of a particular activity? Are you moving ahead in that direction or away from it?

Make plan in advance for the week or the day so as to feel organized and focused. You may break down your tasks over days to see how much time you need for a project. Just a few minutes of planning can really transform the way you work.

Group together your tasks importance-wise by organizing them in terms of their relative importance. For instance, the tasks labeled “urgent” must be done today while those labeled “important, but not urgent” are important, but they can wait for some time. And “low-priority” tasks can be postponed till later, if need be.

Now place the tasks under each category. For example, if you need to make a report, it’s an urgent task. But if you have to begin a new  project with a 14-day deadline for completion, it can be “important, but not urgent” task. Similarly, chatting with friends is vital, but certainly not an urgent task, and thus, it needs to go to the “low-priority” group.

3. To-do lists

Personally, I find them quite useful and motivating as I get a clear idea of what’s supposed to be done on a particular day. I have discovered that the ideal time to make a to-do list is the end of the day when you clearly know from where to resume work the next day. There is software available to help you do this job.  

Time management coaches recommend having S.M.A.R.T. — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound goals to give a solid structure to your work and prepare yourself for the day. Taking a brief break for a tae/coffee, a walk or just stretching your limbs after an hour or so boosts your productivity. Try it out. It works! 

4. Decision-making

You cannot begin to work unless you have made a prior decision about how you are going to do it i.e.

1. Which task needs a high priority?
2. When does a task need to be completed?
3. What resources are available for the task?
4. Which task/s should be taken up later?

The decisions have to be taken before your work begins. It will enable you to decide clearly about your tasks for better work performance.

Grouping together similar tasks saves time. Instead of hopping from one task to another, it is much smarter to group them together. For example, you may fix a time for emails and phone calls rather than doing it anytime throughout the day. I can vouch for its extreme its efficacy as this is exactly what I do all the time. 

5. Spend mornings on MITs

Time management coaches recommend working on the most important tasks (MITs) from your to-do list to finish them first. Obviously, we have the most energy and enthusiasm in the mornings, so why not tackle the most challenging tasks at this time? Besides, once you have accomplished the most important tasks early in the day, you can remain motivated and high-spirited for the rest of the day.

Specialists in stress management counselling often advocate this idea to help their clients reduce the stress levels they face.

6. Log In, Log Out

Try to be aware of how you’re spending your time on various things. List down all your day-to-day, routine activities and the time they take. Having a clear idea of how you are spending time, you will be in a far better position to grasp where time is leaking off the tap and how you can plug the cracks and holes.  

Record your daily routine to know about time-wasters e.g. phone calls, social media, TV, gossiping etc. Time tracking and productivity apps are great tools for this purpose. By recording your daily routine for about a week, you can the time-wasters and try to cut them out.

7. Limit e-mailing time

Many time management examples focus on the apparently innocuous tasks like e-mailing. The reality is – it takes a lot of time. Checking and replying to e-mails is  burdensome. An average worker spends around 10 hours a week checking email. Think of all the tasks you could do in this much time.

Limit the time on e-mails to the minimum to keep those 10 hours for work. If you check e-mail in the morning, reply only to important ones, which warrant an immediate reply. You can leave the rest for breaks or read them at the end of the day. Ensure that you mark those unimportant messages as “spam” so that they don’t crowd your inbox.

8. Get a break

Many time management coaches and those dealing in stress management counselling advise employees that working without breaks can do more harm than good. Periodic breaks help us refresh our brain and refocus on work. Take a short walk, read a favorite book or sip a tae/coffee or watch a documentary or play an instrument during breaks.

Use these intermittent breaks to improve time management and refresh yourself for a significant productivity boost.

9. Discover your zone

Each of us is extremely focused and productive at certain times in a day i.e. we are in our ‘zone’. Find your own zone for the best time utilization to bring out the best in you.

If you feel more energetic at certain times in the day, change your schedule to accommodate it to get the most of your time. Some people may feel more energized early in the morning, while others happen to be night owls. Choose your own personal best time to reap the benefits of doing more.

10. Say No to Perfection and multi-tasking

The perfect is very often the enemy of the good. Avoid overanalyzing. Of course, it doesn’t mean being careless in your work. Put in your best but a craving for perfection can drag you down. Once you’ve finished a task by giving it your best, move on.

Most of us aren’t really good at multi-tasking, say the latest studies. Therefore, it’s better to focus on one thing at a time and excel at it. Try time boxing i.e. allocate a time-frame for each task, which significantly increases the likelihood of its completion.

11. Know about time stealers

Locate time stealers to do something about them. You may be spending an hour on emails instead of working your projects. Knowing where time goes can let you decide about delegating tasks or using software to accelerate the lower-level processes.

Similarly, you can’t do everything on your own. So, try to delegate by training someone to do simple jobs to free yourself up to work on bigger things. It’s always smart to delegate certain tasks to others and let them share the responsibility and if done properly, it can save time and effort, besides making others more responsible and confident. You may even outsource some secondary tasks to a freelancer.

12. Time blocking

The Tesla CEO Elon Musk’s secret to time management lies in time blocking i.e. devoting a certain number of hours to only one task, while blocking off other tasks. In his 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management, Kevin Kruse says that top performers organize their day by time blocks. It appears to be logical as you are much more likely to succeed with a well-defined action plan.

 Read: Why Do We Need to Fix Top Priorities In Life

See your task to the end. Avoid doing half work, i.e., quitting the current task to do something else e.g. writing a report and then suddenly checking email for no reason and giving replies. It’s not only bad time management but is also bad for your focus and momentum.

13. Distractions

Keeping focus on a task when you have hundreds of them isn’t easy. So, getting distracted – notifications, pop-up messages, e-mails, colleagues constantly talking to you – is oaky. Obviously, they all pull your attention away from work. While working, put your phone on the silent mode and block all notifications to save time and improve your efficiency. 

There are many  ways to be focused – put your phone away, turn off social media notifications or block distracting websites. But the best way is to focus and do what is to be done. Limit your presence on social media to a minimum as it takes lots of time and doesn’t bring much value into life.

Focus on one part of your work at a given time and say no to messages, emails or social media notifications. Hard? You may need some practice and a short wait. It works out!

14. Group together similar tasks

Various tasks require team members to spend different amounts of time and effort but because most team tasks are quite similar, putting them together is a good idea. It can enable the teams to save time on reorienting themselves for a new task, thus ensuring faster project completion. 

15. Reward yourself

Having finished the task, take a break to do something else- a cup of coffee, listen to music, or call a friend. These little rewards are a great way to motivate yourself – similar to a rabbit chasing the carrot tied to its ears. It may look a bit odd but when you think of  the satisfaction you experience after task completion, you will find it to be worth it.

So go on, take that nap, have a walk, or read a chapter your favourite book to get a productivity boost!

We all start life with a family – of blood relatives, adopted parents or foster members. Our families are always there to support us in our need and difficulties. Having said that, family life isn’t always perfect as many issues can crop up. Our family is the most immediate, powerful and constant social impact on us, which influences every aspect of our lives, from cradle to grave. Our family undergoes many changes throughout and thus, it’s normal to have occasional family problems. But it is comforting that help and support can help us overcome difficult times.

 How does family counselling help?

Family dynamics

Family dynamics can change a lot as they undergo transitions like births, deaths, marriages and divorces. Add to it that each family is unique, endowed as it is with its own belief and value systems. So, within a family, the differences of opinions about a range of issues are perfectly normal.

Many factors affect our family relationships, which, in turn, impact our lives. Our families absorb many outside stresses and strains but the pressures can sometimes spill over. Personal problems can overwhelm a family to the extent that it might appear as if there is no way forward. The changes within a family can leave it confused, angry or hurt.

The love, grudges, loyalties and betrayals of family life have lasting psychological effects. Whether we stay close or separately, our relationships with family members can shape us like no other. So much so that they define us or have an everlasting impact on what we should be.

Especially as children, we spend much time with our families, which has an undisputed impact on us in later life. We come to develop our expectations of others, communication skills, outlook on life and many other things. Therefore, given their lasting impact, the family problems need to be resolved in time to keep them from becoming major life issues.

Family Problems

A family offers support, encouragement and love but, sometimes, the relationships can be strained. Common family problems can involve infidelity, monetary disputes, addictions, mental illness, grief and illnesses. Sometimes, such issues exist between only two family members, while others can involve the entire family. Issues like grief over the demise of a loved one are visible to all; other problems may be more subtle – a child not coming out openly or an unhappily married wife.

Quite often, family problems have underlying causes, not visible – which impact the entire family. Such conflicts can be especially potent in case of children, who carry them over into later lives and future family relationships.

 Common Family Problems

As a life coach dealing with marriage counselling for couples and families, I have found the following common family problems:

1. Disruption due to separation or divorce
2. Problems with step-family or a new partner
3. Debt or other financial problems
4. Bereavement or illness causing changes in family structure
5. Adolescents’ behavioural problems
6. Children leaving home
7. Infidelity/ cheating
8. Sibling conflict/ rivalry
9. Mental illness
10. Substance abuse- Drugs and alcohol
11. Differences over parenting styles

In many cases, there may be many issues causing a family problems and it may not be possible to ‘fix’ it. However, we can adjust our attitude to what is happening and try to find solutions to make our lives easier.

 Solving Family Problems

As a life coach dealing with family problems, I always recommend a culture of openness, trust, communication and a keenness to resolve family issues that can strengthen family relationships and maintain positive family dynamics.

I would suggest all families to make a sincere attempt to

1. create a sharing environment
2. admit the problem
3. look for the basic issue, leaving aside its symptoms
4. rescue your relationships, keeping aside anger, ego and pride
5. access professional help, if you can’t resolve it yourself
6. take good care of thmselves

 Family Counselling

A family, whether of blood relatives or chosen, is often composed of the most important connections that humans have. Societies have been formed around families, and without our connections to one other and our biological instinct to protect our family, we may not have evolved. However, most families face disagreements, stress and conflict. This is where family counselling steps in.

Family counseling is an approach to help a family encourage conversation and communicate better with each other to resolve issues. Family counselling usually works best with cognitive behaviour therapy, systemic and solution-focused therapy, to take a closer look at all family members. The aim is to clarify the problems and focus on solutions, rather than delving into their origins. It can improve self-reflection for the individuals and self-awareness of the family. The goal of family counselling is helping families build stronger relationships, but it means different things to different families, as we all face unique challenges. Ultimately, the aim is to enable families to enjoy being together and to face challenges as a team.

A family counsellor maintains neutrality to have a platform free from blame. It allows the members to explore the problem and express their concerns and perspectives.

How?

The counsellor gathers the views of the family through questions about the differences they face. Thereafter, the members are invited to become observers of the questions answered by other members and of their own behaviours and assumptions. The counsellor gives the group a chance to and reflect on the situation to move towards a better way of being together.

 In such cases, an assessment may be difficult as defining the problem can mean something different to each member. One person might be blamed, who may blame someone else. The interconnected relationships within a family are central to this counselling. The logistics of getting all members to participate can pose difficulties, but it can be rewarding to establish healthier ways of living together as a family.

Counselling can help identify the events including incidents transitions or repeating patterns that have led to the family needing help. Family problems might be mapped out to show their development and allow members to gain clarity about the problems.

How to Solve Family Problems?

1. Communication

Most common arguments are engineered by poor communication. Everyone needs the chance to explain themselves. Therefore, to strengthen family relationships, open communication needs to be a top priority.

Very often, a common casualty of a disagreement is the closure of communication channels, which tends to worsen the problem.  So keep the lines of communication open. Set aside your ego as one needs a big heart to become the first one to tackle a problem. Reach out first, however hard it may seem. 

* If it doesn’t fructify, a family elder can mediate. 

* Ignoring it will worsen the problem, leading to further coldness in the relationship. Better to express yourself at a suitable time and occasion. But obviously, raking up a family problem at festive times isn’t a sensible thing to do.

* Drinking before a tough family conversation can fuel emotions, hamper your thinking and block your conversation.  Avoid.

* Many kids are reluctant to express themselves due to the fear of ridicule/ shame. Explain to them that each one is welcome to express themselves openly. 

2. Conflicts

Disagreements are part of family dynamics, especially of egalitarian families. But they can easily become arguments and conflicts, which can damage family relationships and peace. 

Arguments, by themselves, aren’t bad; they tend to promote independent thinking but the trouble with them is that they often slip out of hands. Do argue but have some rules and do not let emotions overpower you. You may hurt others unintentionally.

Solution: 

1. Define the problem clearly and avoid generalizations. For instance, if your spouse didn’t pick a glass lying on the bed today, do not say “You’ll never do that”. You know there has only been one such incident. 
2. Argue over the specific point. Avoid bringing up other past grouses, which is of  no good here. 
3. Focus on the solution instead of stretching the argument. If your spouse never presses the toothpaste tube from the bottom, it’s no fun arguing. Get two toothpastes, instead. Simple!
4. Focus on the reasons behind others’ behavior and if the disagreement becomes a fight, have a time-out and return to it whenever you are back to normal.

3. Work-Life Balance

A great way to strengthen family relationships is ensuring good work-life balance. Unhealthy work-life balance can lead to family conflicts. Amidst jobs/ businesses, achieving a work-life balance may be tricky. But this one is relatively easier to resolve with smart planning and slick execution. Create clear boundaries between work and life so that they don’t overlap, leading to conflicts.  

With healthy work-life balance, you can have better focus and give due attention to work and family.

Solution: Leave work at the workplace and focus on family when off work. Delegate tasks to avoid being overworked. 

4. Infidelity

Infidelity is emotional/physical unfaithfulness to a spouse and breaking a commitment/promise. Around 1/4th of all marriages face infidelity, a big threat to marriages and families. Prevention is the ideal solution here i.e. the partners commit to and nurture their relationship.  

Sadly, an extra-marital affair has no painless solution because to rebuild the broken trust, one needs time and a sincere commitment to change.

Solution: Working through shock, anger and grief takes time and effort. Be assertive rather than being aggressive as anger can lead to rash decisions. Practice mindfulness and self-regulation to calm yourself and think rationally.

The cheating spouse has to assume full responsibility and transparency and answer the other one’s questions. It can create an understanding of what went wrong and the required change. Though trust doesn’t come back overnight, accepting one’s responsibility is a good start.

 However, in extreme cases, separation is the only way out. The bitter pill needs to be swallowed where recovery is otherwise impossible. 

5. Money Matters 

Finances can be big stressors, especially in financial stress. Arguments about money are important issues, which need to be addressed on priority. The most common disagreement is over the way people think of money management. With one spouse being a penny-pincher and the other one a spendthrift, there can be fireworks only.

Therefore, discuss calmly how you are going to handle income, expenditure, savings, insurance and investment. The spouses need to set out the priorities of how money it is to be used. 

Solution: Run on a monthly budget. In financial difficulties, cut back on expenses and look for additional income. Financial troubles can test a relationship but with openness and sincerity, you can navigate these tough times together.

6. Distance

Physical/emotional distance can take a heavy toll and create relationship strain, especially with kids. Physical distance can be a compulsion due to one’s occupation. To compensate for physical distance, consider doing nightly video chats, online games or watching movies online together.

More dangerous than physical distance is the emotional distance despite physical proximity. It arises from mistrust or lack of communication, which leads to a lot less sharing.  

Solution: Discuss honestly and transparently. Listen to the other’s perspectives to  find a common ground. Try to accommodate the other person’s needs to save your relationship. 

7. Disagreements over parenting styles

Every parent has a unique viewpoint about parenting shaped by their own upbringing. If you disagree on parenting, talk it out and  understand their views.

Solution: You need to make compromises and adjustments. However, if one parent’s style is toxic, you need to convince them of its toxicity and make them change. 

8. Rebellious Children

Rebellious children test your limits. You can teach them the consequences of their actions by setting a positive example of how you react to your emotions. If you deal with an angry teenager, listen to their grievances and offer advice only if they ask for it.

Unravelling the knots 

Family problems are painful but you can prevent them in the initial stages. 

1. Begin the discussion 
2. Go to the root 
3. Address the problem 

Beginning the Discussion 

1. Wait until you’re and others are calm to avoid its becoming a full-blown feud. 

* When upset /emotional, wait. The emotion subsides somewhat and you’ll approach logically.

* Approaching someone while you are angry heightens a tough situation. Wait. 

2. Deal in person

* Pick up the phone or, better, meet personally instead of e-mailing. 

3. Admit faults

* Accept your faults. Look at family issues not as wrong-and-right. Instead, perceive the gray areas. 

* Apologize even if you did nothing wrong.

* Avoid blaming and use positive language.  

* Avoiding name calling. Blaming others makes them counter attack you. 

* Don’t try to “win”. Try to see two or more ways to see the issue. 

* Maintain a calm, modulated tone. Explain calmly, methodically. Cool down the argument with, “I can see your point.”

4. Forgive 

* Forgive those who have wronged you. 

* Forgiveness frees you. It’s about letting go of the past to build a healthier future.

* All humans are imperfect and need forgiveness. 

Getting to the roots 

1. Problem identification

* Identify the problem. Consider the real issue so that you can address it better. 

* Find out what they think and focus on causes, not symptoms. 

2. Ask 

* Dig out the cause by asking questions.  

* Questions soften the conversation and draw out the truth.

* Ask open-ended questions and listen to them.

3. Recognize when to discuss

* A family conflict clearly indicates relationship problems.

* Some problems are caused by differences of opinion such as on cultural values. Others can be substance abuse, mental sickness, bullying, mistrust, finances, stress, sex and jealousy.

Addressing the problem 

* Compromising implies that you evolve a mutually acceptable solution. 

* The first step is figuring out whether the problem is solvable. 

* Don’t talk when you’re distracted, on a project, or phone calls. 

Prevention is the best cure

The question of how to solve family problems becomes redundant if we know how to prevent them from happening. A sharing environment is the foundation of healthy communication. Family members should feel safe while baring feelings. A child must feel safe to share their viewpoint without any fear of judgment/punishment. Children who feel safe easily open up while struggling with a situation or making a difficult decision. This is also true of other family relationships.

Family counsellors recommend the following:

1. Listen         
2. Be willing to share your feelings. 
3. Recognize others’ experiences as valid. 
4. Admit your mistakes, encouraging others to admit theirs.
5. Create a personal example of the behavior you want to see in others. 
6. Do things together – hobbies, sports, activities – to achieve closeness, open communication and sharing.

However, if everything fails, it’s best to seek professional help.

Solving Family Problems – Some Suggestions

Environment of Sharing

An environment of sharing is the foundation to strengthen family relationships. The family members should feel safe while sharing their feelings and problems. As a parent, it means letting your child share their viewpoint without any fear of being judged or punished. A child needs to feel that they will be taken seriously to talk comfortably about mental health, identity, anxiety, or substance abuse. Such children open up easily while struggling or making a difficult decision. So is true of the relationships between siblings and a couple.

You can foster an environment of sharing with:

• Listening

Listen before reacting. Ask if your advice is welcome. And if it is not, leave it for later.

Express your feelings as sometimes, they may not be obvious. Sharing your feelings may bring up new viewpoints and perspectives.

• Being human

Admit your faults and mistakes to make others comfortable while admitting their mistakes.

• Being the Change

Be a model of healthy ways of expressing emotions and be the change you want to see in others.

• Do it together

“A family that eats together, prays together, always stays together.”

The families that spend time together develop closeness that facilitates open communication and sharing. Try to explore interests, sports or other family activities together. Such activities stimulate future conversations and closer relationships and set the stage for solving and preventing family problems.

• Acknowledge the Problem

Many a time, such problems arise from a lack of closeness while others involve something more serious like physical/ emotional abuse. Irrespective of the case, admitting that there is a problem is the first step. Sidelining the issues and pretending as if everything were fine are unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Unless such acknowledgment is there, the existing issues can worsen, trigger negative situations, and end up in lashing out, aggressive arguments, substance abuse, or violence. Acknowledging it enables positive action to fix it and may avert unhealthy coping mechanisms that create negative situations.

Read: The 7 Steps to Handle Negative People With a Smile and Positivity

Many times, people avoid discussing these problems as they believe in avoiding rather than fighting. Regardless, feeling stuck is an indication that a third party is needed to resolve the problem.

Grasp the Deeper Issue

Forget the visible, the fact is – most family problems are outwards signs of deep-rooted problems, knowing which can pave the way for greater empathy among family member.

Substance abuse

Alcohol and other substances are often used to escape from a difficult emotional situation like grief over bereavement, financial troubles, marital conflict, divorce, and the pain of illness or other problems. A therapist can help break down the deeper issues that lead to substance abuse and help recovery.

Leave behind anger and pride

Holding on to anger and pride feeds negative emotions, hampers empathy, thwarts open communication, is damaging to individual mental health and blocks the path to conflict resolution. Prioritize a happier relationship over being hurt or the fear of failure. Where a family problem exists, someone is already hurt, which makes the fear of being hurt again greater. But the potential for healing is real. Focusing on this potential and letting go of negative emotions opens the door to communication, healing and better mental health.

Get Help

Experts on marriage counselling for couples and families assert that therapy is for everyone, not reserved for the mentally sick or weak or those with emotional disorders. Being humans, we need other humans to help us work through problems and therapy provides a safe environment with a trained professional.

Therapists having expertise gained through professional training help you talk about and develop strategies to resolve difficult situations, without any risk of being judged or medicated.

Take Care of Yourself

While trying to solve family issues, taking care of yourself and maintaining good mental health is essential. Positive family dynamics start with a healthy self. Being healthy allows you to let go of negative emotions, which clears the way for open family communication to help the family focus on relationships.

Thanks to its extremely common prevalence, stress is quite a buzzword today, more so in the COVID- 19 scenario. With COVID-19 playing ducks and drakes with our lives in every way possible, the stress experienced by most of us has risen. It’s no surprise then that everyone talks of reducing stress for a more peaceful life. 

Well before we talk of the ways to mitigate it, let’s first grasp what stress is all about. In very simple terms, stress is a normal (and healthy (hold on!), to some extent) psychological and physical reaction to the demands of day to day living. Light stress is, in fact, good for you in that it  propels you towards better performance e.g. before a stage show, the little stress felt by the performer actually helps them rehearse harder and perform better. So far, so good but coping with multiple daily life challenges like long commutes, traffic jams, targets, deadlines, attending social events and managing a family can often test our coping abilities.

From a biological viewpoint, our brains are wired to protect us using an alarm system in the event of a threat. During a threat, our body receives a brain signal to secrete hormones, which ramp up our heart rate and blood pressure – the “fight-or-flight” response. It gives us the fuel to deal with the threat in hand using more oxygen, more energy and the physical and mental rush. Once the threat vanishes, our bodies should return to their normal, relaxed selves. But sadly, it isn’t so in many cases as the hassles of modern living never let some people’s alarm systems shut off. And this unhealthy mental and bodily state greatly harms our mind and body over the long term. 

Symptoms of Excessive Stress

Though stress can show up in many different ways, some of its commonest symptoms are

1. Constant worrying
2. Pains in the chest region, rapid, irregular heartbeat
3. State of nausea/dizziness
4. Long-standing diarrhea/constipation
5. Putting off/ neglecting responsibilities
6. Taking to alcohol/drugs for relaxation and unwinding
7. Over-eating/ not eating enough
8. Being overwhelmed
9. Inability to focus on tasks
10. Anxiety-ridden thoughts
11. Agitation, inability to relax
12. Irritability, “moody” disposition

 Stress Management Training

Stress management training can help us re-calibrate our alarm system to help us adapt and achieve resilience. Without such resilience, we may always be on a high alert and with time, this long-standing stress can lead to health problems. Therefore, waiting until stress actually damages your health, relationships and the quality of life isn’t a sensible thing to do. You can do a lot to drive away the pressures and lead a much more peaceful and tension-free life by practicing stress management techniques.

Experts in mental health counselling opine that among common stressors, job-related pressures, relationship issues or financial troubles are relatively easy to single out. But the seemingly small and innocuous things like waiting in a long line or rushing for a meeting can also raise the stress you feel. To boot, even apparently positive events like tying the nuptial knot or shifting to a new home can be sources of stress. In fact, any change in life – be it positive or negative- can be a potential source of stress.

It’s important to remember that stress will never vanish from our life. Thus, stress management needs to become part of our day to day living. By identifying the stressors in our life and practicing relaxation, we can certainly hope to counter its ill-effects and improve our coping mechanisms. Of course, you don’t have to deal with all by yourself as you can seek help from family and friends.

Importance of stress management training

Constantly elevated levels of stress endanger our entire physical and mental well-being. It  upsets our emotional equilibrium and physical health, interferes with our thinking and functioning and impairs our ability to enjoy life. On the face of it, it appears as if there’s nothing you can do about it. Hold on! You have a lot more control than you think.

Stress management training can help you get rid of stress and become happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal behind this a balanced life in which you have enough time for work, relationships and fun and you can build the resilience to meet challenges. But there isn’t a universal solution here and you’ll have to experiment to find what works best in your case.

Stress Management Techniques

1. Identifying stressors

In stress management counseling, I often tell my clients that training one’s mind is an important part of learning stress management, which begins with pinpointing the sources of stress. Though identifying major stressors like a job change, job loss, moving and divorce may be easy, finding the reasons behind chronic stress can be more complicated as our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors also contribute to the stress we feel.

As a case in point, you may remain worried over deadlines, but this stress may be due to procrastination, rather than due to the demands of your job. In order to find out the real sources of stress, you have to examine your habits, attitude, and excuses and ask:

1. Do you believe your stress is temporary though it has always been present?

(“My plate is full right now”)

1. Do you think stress is an integral part of your being (“My life is always crazy, “I am always awfully nervous)?
2. Do you attribute the blame for your stress to others or external events?

Until you accept the responsibility for your own role in creating / maintaining stress, it is going to be outside your control.

Writing a stress journal

Experts dealing with stress management counselling often advise that for better stress management training, we should make a stress journal to record major, regular stressors and how you handle them. Whenever you are under stress, make a note in your journal to find patterns and common themes like:

Who/ What created the stress?

How was the feeling – physically and emotionally?

What was the way you responded?

What did you do to come out of it?

2. Being Creative

Looking back, I can recall how I maintained our workforce morale during the first lockdown post-COVID-19. The first lockdown was total, strict and quite frustrating, especially for our plant workers, many of whom were stuck away from their homes. In fact, we had made arranged lodging and boarding for many of them, whose families were far away and who were suddenly stuck here. Since no physical movement was no-no, we thought up a creative solution and kept them involved over Zoom meetings every other day. We would discuss creative ideas and believe me, our collective energies and determination helped us create a biodegradable product as a result of our efforts. Not only did they get something meaningful to keep themselves busy, but it also brought about a technological breakthrough, besides reducing their stress levels.

At a personal level, my almost-doctor daughter was stuck at home, feeling bored and stressed. There were no college classes those days and the only thing there was the impending fear of another strict lockdown. Slowly, I gently veered her thoughts towards penning down her ideas, which had been cooking up in her mind for long. Not only did she get a creative outlet, but she also kept busy and brought out her first-ever published work A Million Dreams.   

So, the mantra is – try to be imaginative and creative so as to de-stress yourself!

3. 4 A’s – Avoid, Alter, Adapt and Accept

These four letters are the Bible of Stress Management Techniques. The stress we feel is simply an automatic response of our nervous system but some stressors come up predictably e.g. your commute to work, a meeting with your boss or social events. In the face of such predictable stressors, it’s advisable to change the situation or the way we react with the help of mind power training. We can practice the four A’s: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept to counter stress.

Avoid

Avoiding a stressful situation (which needs to b addressed) isn’t healthy, but you can eliminate many stressors.

1. Know your limits and say “no” to taking on more than you can handle. Distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and say “no” to taking on too much work.
2. Avoid people who stress you out. Limit the time you spend with them or avoid them altogether.
3. Take charge of your own environment. If TV news makes you anxious, stay away. If traffic snarls make you tense, take an alternative route. If a market visit looks unpleasant, go shopping online.
4. Trim down your to-do list. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you have too much on your plate, shift the tasks that are relatively unimportant to the bottom or remove them.

Alter

1. If avoiding a stressor isn’t feasible, alter it by changing the way you communicate and work.
2. Express your feelings. Should something/someone bother you, express your concerns in an assertive, open and respectful manner. If you’ve an upcoming exam and your friend just drops in for chat, tell them you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t, resentment builds up, which raises your stress level.
3. If you ask someone to change their behavior, be ready to reciprocate. If you both are willing to bend, you can find a middle ground.
4. All work and no play causes burnout. Balance work and family life, social activities and solo pursuits.

Adapt

1. If you can’t change a stressor, change yourself. Adapt to stressful situations to regain control by changing your expectations.
2. Examine a stressful situation from a positive frame of reference. Rather than fretting over an ending traffic jam, pause, listen to music, read a book or enjoy “me” time.
3. Look at the bigger picture. How important will it be in the long run? It is worth being upset over? NO, then focus your energy somewhere else.
4. Do not chase perfection as it creates avoidable stress. If you are looking for perfection in everything you or others do, you may be planning to fail. Try having reasonable standards for yourself and others and being alright with “good enough.”
5. Try practicing gratitude. When you feel overwhelmed with stress, reflect on all those things that you appreciate including your personal qualities.

Accept

Some stressors are simply unavoidable. For example, we can’t prevent a loved one’s demise, some serious illness or economic recession. We need to accept them as they are. Accepting them may be difficult, but it’s much easier than fighting something we can’t change.

1. So many things are out of our control, especially how others behave. So rather than getting stressing out over them, we need to focus on what is in our control i.e.  how we react to them.
2. Look at major challenges opportunities for growth. If you were responsible for a stressful situation, learn from your mistakes.
3. We are living in a world with imperfect people (including ourselves), who constantly make mistakes. Thus, it’s better to let go of your anger and resentment. Forgiving and forgetting is a sensible idea.
4. Give vent to your feelings to find catharsis by talking to a friend/family member.

4. Get moving

One of the most effective Stress Management Techniques, physical activity is a big stress reliever as it releases the feel-good endorphins and can also be a valuable distraction from daily worries.

Regular exercise for 30 minutes or more gives you the most benefit but it’s alright to build up your fitness level over time. Even small activities can add up to a lot over the course of a day. Get up and get going.

1. Dance to music.
2. Take your dog out for a walk.
3. Walk down or cycle to the nearby store for vegetables/ groceries.
4. Avoid the elevator. Use the stairs.
5. Park your car at a far away location and walk the rest of the way.
6. Pair up with an exercise buddy to encourage each other.
7. Play ping-pong or other activity-based video game with your children.

While any physical activity would help you burn away stress, rhythmic activities like walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, and aerobics are especially effective. Choose something enjoyable so that you stick with it.

While exercising, pay conscious attention to your bodily and emotional sensations and focus on coordinating your breathing with the bodily movements. The mindfulness element helps you break the negative cycle that comes with excessive stress.

5. Connecting and Reaching Out

Spending good face time with others who makes you feel safe and understood is a calming experience. Face-to-face interaction triggers hormones to neutralize the body’s “fight-or-flight” response, which is a natural stress reliever (and staves off depression and anxiety). So connect regularly face to face with family and friends.

The people you talk to may not “fix” a problem but they can be good listeners. Do not think of yourself as being weak or being a burden as your loved ones will feel flattered by the trust you repose in them. Nurturing a close friends network can enhance your resilience to stressors.

1. Connect with colleagues.                       B. Help out others.
2. Share lunch/ tea with a friend.                     D. Ask a loved one to check in on you regularly.
3. Accompany someone to a theatre /exhibition/concert.            
4. Call or email a forgotten friend.
5. Go for a walk with a workout buddy.   H. Schedule a weekly dinner date.
6. Meet new people by attending a class or joining a club.
7. Confide in a teacher/mentor/ elder one.

6. Having Fun and Relaxation

Take out some “me” time to reduce the stress in life. Do not get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life so much that you forget your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury and you are worth it! With regular fun time, you handle the stresses in a better way.

1. Take out leisure time, rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t let other obligations encroach on this time as you deserve a break to recharge your discharged batteries.
2. Watch the stars, play the piano or go biking- any leisure activity of your choice. Always keep your sense of humour intact, including laughing at yourself. Being able to laughing at oneself is a mark of emotional maturity. Even otherwise, laughter therapy helps you fight stress.
3. Try doing yoga, meditation, and deep breathing to trigger the relaxation response, the opposite of “the fight or flight” response. Your stress level will decline, making you calm and focused.

7. Better Time management

Poor time managers face a lot of stress. If you’re running behind schedule, being calm and focused is not possible. Many of us feel that 24 hours in a day are very less for us to complete our daily works. But, we never realize that every human of the earth has the same time and hours in a day. Some of them cover all the task they are supposed to perform the daily bases and some of them fails in doing so. If you are also struggling like many other people out there, then watch this video:

Additionally, you may be compelled to avoid all those things that drive away stress e.g. socializing and relaxing. You can do many things to find a healthier work-life balance:

1. Make reasonable commitments and avoid packing too much into a day. Often, we tend to underestimate how long things will take, which often lands us in a problem.
2. Make a priority task list and finish them in the order of importance. Tackle the high-priority things first, followed by the rest. If you have something particularly unpleasant or stressful on your list, try to finish it first so that the rest of the day feels more pleasant.
3. Split a project into small, manageable steps and focus on one step at a time. Do not tackle all in one go.
4. Of course, if other people can take care of a task, why not let them do so? Avoid micro-managing or overseeing every little step, thereby letting go of the unnecessary stress. It will also give others a chance to participate and have a sense of responsibility and achievement.

8. Balanced, healthy lifestyle

Apart from regular exercise, other lifestyle choices can also help you beat stress.

9. Have a healthy, balanced diet. A well-fed body is much better prepared to cope with stress. Be very mindful of what you eat. Begin your day with a healthy, nutritious (not heavy) breakfast and have balanced, nutritious meals through the day to keep yourself active and your mind clear.
10. Restrict your caffeine and sugar consumption. They may give you a temporary “high” but often end with a mood crash. A reduced intake of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks will make you feel more relaxed and sleep better.
11. Say no to alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. Alcohol and drugs look like easy, attractive escape routes from stress, but the relief you get is temporary. Instead, deal with the issue head on with a clear mind.
12. Sufficient, quality sleep restores your body and mind. A feeling of tiredness can worsen your stress as it can make you think irrationally.

9. Quick relief

• If your morning commute, a stressful meeting or an argument with your spouse makes you hassled, you surely need a quick stress management technique.
• The quickest route is deep breathing. You may view your favorite photo, smell a preferred scent, listen to a favorite song, play with your pet to relax and focus quickly.

This, of course, doesn’t always work for everyone. You will have to experiment and discover the unique sensory experiences that really work for you.