Marriage is a lifelong commitment to growing and loving someone together. When you love someone, you love all the versions of them,
—the person they were, the person they are, and the person they will become.
In today’s fast-paced world, where you can get a boy with the right swipe, cheating has become far too easy, and everything feels instant- instant coffee, instant home deliveries, and no need to wait for supper.
Need for validation? Just post something on Facebook, and you will receive likes in seconds. But in a rush for this instant gratification, people have forgotten that genuine relationships take time to build. Patience, forgiveness and fruit are the keys to a successful marriage, requiring both of them to work. I, Ritu Singal have often seen couples giving up on each other, without understanding marriage.
In today’s world where it’s about blaming the other person, they made me feel like this, we forget to ask the question.
How do I make the other person feel?
Do I appreciate what they have to offer?
Do I make them think nagged or do I create a safe space for them?
Am I vulnerable to them and do I make them feel valued in my life?
Understanding and practising love languages is crucial.
Examples include; physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation and gift-giving.
- What is the best way they feel loved?
- Do we have moments of playfulness, fun, and teasing with each other? What are words that offend them?
- What are actions they don’t like? What triggers them about me? What are their needs? What are words that offend them?
- What kind of conversations do they enjoy the most?
Marriage also requires clarity on values
- Do we have the same values?
- Which of our values are non-negotiable?
- What are their goals regarding family and kids?
- How do they want to bring up the kids?
- Do they let the inlaws have a say in things?
- Can they support my honour?
Are they loyal? Have any past relationships didn’t showcase their loyalty?
What are my non -non-negotiables in the person I want to marry? Eg: Physically abusive, gaslighting, narcissistic personalities. If you see any of these signs, it’s better to end a relationship beforehand itself.
Most people are afraid of getting married because of the number of divorces today. However, it is important to remember that Issues were always left under the rug. Abuse was present at that time too, whether physical, verbal, spiritual or sexual. We can’t make assumptions based on societies where divorce was almost considered a taboo.
The bright side is that today we have access to premarital counselling and the stigma of going to a counsellor has reduced. People are learning how to identify their triggers in life, clarifying what they want from life and relationships. As both partners work, the wife is no longer dependent on the husband.
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- Then I will give you the tools to deal with challenges that come in and out of marriage.be it family stressors, finances, or household responsibilities.
- Guide you through family planning and managing personal space.
- Offer one-on-one or joint sessions based on your needs and concerns.
Checkout: How Mental Coaching from Life Coach Ritu Singal can Transform Your Life
The best part of pre-marriage counselling is that you get a chance to prepare for the challenges that will be coming in your marriage. You won’t be new to it and it will flourish smoothly. In joint sessions, you can explore and challenge this in a much better way!
I , Ritu Singal have had so much fun with my clients, regarding all of these topics that it became something they loved too. There was gossip shared, fun banter made, and each one of them could respect the other person.
I may work with you one-on-one for it or with your partner depending upon your needs and concerns. Then you will be allowed to speak regarding your marriage plans, and what you aspire t
Conclusion: A great marriage is not when two perfect people come together, it’s when two imperfect people come together to enjoy their indifferences. And when I finally see my clients doing this, it gives me sheer happiness.
You don’t have the fear of marriage, you have the fear of not being able to deal with the challenges in marriage. And when you have the right counsellor, hardworking mindset and tools to help you deal with those challenges, what are the odds of having a failed marriage? To know more visit our website.
