As I waded through the knee-deep waters of the monsoon season, I couldn’t help but think of Samuel Coleridge’s timeless lines: “Water, water everywhere…!” The dirty, swirling waters seemed to mirror the turmoil that brewed within me as I hurried to meet Joana at the café.
A Conversation that Changed Everything
As I sat down across from Joana, I noticed that she seemed lost in thought. My loud greeting snapped her out of her reverie, and she turned to me with tears welling up in her eyes. Without a word, I pulled up a chair and sat beside her, waiting for her to pour out her heart.
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“Oh, Kyna, how could they say I’m not a good mother?” she sobbed. “They constantly judge me, and I’m fed up. All these years given to a family for nothing. The sacrifices I’ve made… What hurts me more is that Akash is also party to it.”
A Lesson in Emotional Resilience
As a life coach, I’ve learned that emotional resilience is key to navigating life’s challenges. I asked Joana, “What do you do if someone throws garbage in front of your house? Would you bring it inside your house?” Her response was immediate: “No, of course not.” I pressed on, “So, when someone speaks negatively about us, it’s like that garbage. Why do you keep it close to your heart?”
Joana’s tears began to subside, replaced by a faint smile. I continued, “When your mother-in-law judges you, it’s her mind, her judgment, based on her beliefs. It can be different, can’t it?” I watched as she searched for answers in her mind, expecting me to sympathize with her plight. But I had other plans.
The Power of Perspective
I asked Joana, “What do you do if you’re driving and stray dogs start barking at you? Do you stop your car and answer them back?” She shook her head, and I continued, “Our lives are like the vehicle we’re sitting in, safe as long as we don’t come down to their level and react.”
As her eyes glazed over, I knew she was struggling to connect the dots. I took a deep breath and began to retell the story of the frog, one that our management teacher, Mr. Matharu, used to share with us.
The Frog Story: A Lesson in Emotional Resilience
The story goes like this: when a frog is placed in boiling water, it jumps out immediately. But when it’s placed in cold water that’s slowly heated, it doesn’t realize the danger until it’s too late. Similarly, when we’re faced with negativity and criticism, we have a choice: we can either jump out of the boiling water, or we can let the heat consume us.
Building Emotional Resilience
As I finished the story, Joana’s eyes locked onto mine, and I could see the realization dawning on her. She began to understand that she had the power to choose how she responded to the negativity surrounding her. She didn’t have to let it consume her; she could rise above it.
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Conclusion
In that moment, Joana’s tears began to dry, replaced by a sense of determination. She knew that she couldn’t control how others behaved, but she could control how she reacted to them. As she walked out of the café, the monsoon waters still swirling around her feet, I knew that she was ready to take the first step towards emotional resilience.
About the Author
Ritu Singal is a life coach with extensive experience in conflict resolution and emotional resilience. Through her work, she empowers individuals to build emotional resilience and navigate life’s challenges with confidence and determination.
