I, Ritu Singal, have seen it all—the dramatic changes when children become teenagers. Having brought up two daughters, I understand how the world looks at parents of teenagers who seem to be going through everything.
The Reality of Teen Years: More Than Just Rebellion
Managing a teenager is not as easy as it looks. Teenagers are often rebellious, crave space, and question everything. They are neither a kid nor an adult. This period of adolescence is marked by mood swings, confusion, and identity shifts, so it isn’t entirely their fault. We, as parents, still feel they are like our little babies, which only makes them feel worse. In truth, it creates a real disconnect that many families struggle to bridge.
Finding Potential Amidst the Chaos
While this happens, I’ve also noticed that some of the greatest minds are shaped during this period. What you say and how you handle your teenager can be the key determinant to their success later in life. My daughters, Innaya, represented the state in table tennis and other endeavors. I can proudly vouch for that. It’s been one of the best things.
In fact, she even won the best table tennis player of the year in 2019. My older daughter, Ishani, is an entrepreneur too, just like me, but of course, using her own talents. And certainly, I’ve seen the power of fostering their individual strengths.
Checkout: Overcoming Sibling Rivalry: A Guide to Rebuilding Relationships
Resilience and Inspiration: Overcoming Challenges
Despite Vikas’s (my husband’s death) 50 to 60 crore loss in Vikas’s business, which I then put back together—if you want to see how, read my book, I decided to not to cry.That journey, however, is a story for another time, a testament to resilience in itself.So thats why I am here to share my powerful and proven tips to make the best of your parenting with aa teenager
Tip 1: The Power of Feeling Special
The first tip: Make your child feel special. Never criticize them by saying things like, “Your friend is ahead of you,” or “You don’t study enough, you waste time.” Instead, make them feel valued—truly valued.Lets show you how abd why this is important
Understanding Steve’s Story: Adoption and Affirmation
Did you know Steve Jobs was adopted? His biological parents were unmarried, and his father, a Muslim, did not accept the relationship, so they gave him up for adoption.
As a child, when Steve’s friend told him, “That means your parents didn’t want you,” he was deeply hurt and cried. He went home and asked his adoptive parents about it. They reassured him, “We chose you because you are special.”
This belief shaped his entire life—he started doing everything with the mindset that he was special and had a purpose. So, when you make your child feel special, they will act accordingly. But if you keep deflating their confidence, how will they thrive? It’s a simple, yet powerful truth.
Tip 2: Channeling Energy Positively
The second lesson: Channel their energy positively. Steve Jobs’ teachers often complained about him. Instead of scolding or punishing him, his parents told the teachers, “He has a lot of energy; give him something creative to do.”
As a result, Steve was promoted two grades ahead, but his parents, understanding him well, insisted on just one. They recognized his potential and nurtured it instead of suppressing it with punishment. They recognized his unique needs.
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Tip 3: The Importance of Role Models
Third, parents should be role models. Steve’s father was a mechanic who built furniture. He paid attention to even the unseen parts, making them just as beautiful as the visible ones. Steve learned from this that quality matters everywhere, even if no one sees it.
This philosophy later influenced Apple’s product designs—everything, even the internal circuits, had to be perfect.
Checkout: Bringing Up Parents: A Modern Guide to Parenting in the Digital Age
Tip 4: Instilling Values and Purpose
So, what are we teaching our children? If we only focus on superficial success, their character will lack depth. But if we instill values, their work will reflect it. And this reflection is vital.
Tip 5: Encouraging Lifelong Learning
Fourth, Steve Jobs constantly learned from mentors. He absorbed knowledge from everyone—whether about dressing, speaking, or technology. His hunger for learning gave him momentum. That drive is something we should encourage.
Tip 6: The Power of Environment
Lastly, environment matters. Steve surrounded himself with creative people. Instead of chasing money, he focused on innovation. If children grow up in an environment filled with gossip and negativity, what will they learn? Consider the impact of the environment.
Bridging the Gap: Understanding and Praise
If parents apply these lessons, they can nurture greatness in their children. And further, I feel parents should try to bridge the generation gap and try to understand their kids better.
Rather than constantly telling them what they did wrong, praise them for what they did right. For every correction, we must give 10 praises for what they are good at. Additionally, we should also teach children how to make their own decisions and not demotivate them when they fail. Fail 99 times, and the 100th time, you will get it right.
Thomas Edison’s mom never stopped believing in him, and so he never stopped believing in himself despite the odds thrown at him—being thrown out of school, and so on. Those small acts of faith, they build mountains.
A Final Thought: Connection and Belief
Ultimately, navigating these challenging teenage years is about connection, understanding, and unwavering belief. It’s about remembering that behind the mood swings and rebellion, there’s a unique individual waiting to blossom. And as parents, we have the privilege of helping them find their way
