I Can’t Do This… Or Can I? A Life Coach’s Perspective

Hello, I’m Ritu Singal, and if you’re reading this, you’ve taken the most important step: showing up.

Someone brilliant once said—and it’s worth repeating—that those who start a journey, they cross the goals. The mere act of starting is a victory. The paths are waiting for the travelers. But I hear your inner voice, don’t I? It whispers, “How can I? I don’t fit into this world. I don’t have this, I don’t have that.”

Dozens of factors rush into your mind, all designed to lower your self-esteem and chip away at your self-confidence. Don’t you think so? That feeling of paralysis sets in. You have those thoughts:

* “I can’t go out. I look crazy.”
* “I feel shy while talking to people.”
* “I feel embarrassed when they stare at me while eating.”
* “I don’t know how to speak fluently in English.”
* “I am good for nothing.”

Every single day, thousands of people face these kinds of personality insecurities. They lose their confidence in such a profound way that they become scared of speaking up, going out, and simply interacting with people. I see so many individuals struggling to speak their minds and talk about their feelings. They are silently fighting a battle against their own potential.

Why We Hesitate: Unmasking the Roots of Insecurity

After years of exploring this situation with my clients, I’ve discovered a few core reasons behind this hesitation, this feeling of not being enough. It often boils down to a lack of exposure, a fear of not being able to communicate fluently and smartly, or even something as simple as feeling inadequate in social situations because they feel they lack “proper” social or dining habits.

To sum it up, they feel they don’t have the right personality to fit in.

But here is the absolute truth, my friend: Feeling these things will not make any difference. Taking action will.

The world today needs a change in perspective, and it begins with self-acceptance. You need to stop focusing on the perceived deficits and start celebrating the assets. Why feel bad for not having what you want, when you can feel genuinely happy about the things you do have? Trust me, someone else out there may be dreaming about what you already possess.

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Your Unique Skill Tree: Embrace Your Backstage Power

Every single person has their own unique set of skills. One person might be an amazing on-stage person—a performer, a presenter, a charismatic leader. Another might be a brilliant behind-the-stage person—an organizer, a strategist, a meticulous creator. And let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a backstage person.

Think about it: every incredibly successful stage performance, every powerful speech, and every flawlessly executed event is the result of a dedicated and powerful behind-the-stage organizer. They are the foundation, the backbone, the silent force that makes success possible.

So, please, stop the habit of trying to change yourself by looking at others. Choose to focus on what you have, not what others have. They might be excelling on their stage, but remember this crucial fact: You are the monarch of your own position. You have a unique kingdom of skills and experiences that no one else can claim.

You don’t need to be a clone; you need to be the best version of yourself.

Checkout: A glimpse of my book I Decided Not to Cry

The Master Key: Self-Acceptance is the Number One Rule

So, how do you finally and truly build yourself up? What is the master key to resolving your personality insecurities?

You must become fiercely confident in your ability to handle any situation. You have to adopt a mindset that says, “There is no other way—I must succeed.”

But the foundation of all of this, the most crucial element, is this: You should love yourself and accept yourself.

Accept yourself in such a complete and total way that you don’t need society to validate you. Self-acceptance is the number one rule of personality development. Period.

But the question naturally arises: How? How does this acceptance work in the real world? What if you struggle with reading books? What if the thought of changing your whole life seems too huge to tackle?

The Power of the Tiny Effort

My dear friends, the answer is simple yet profound: Little things make a difference.

Don’t wait to be ready to run a marathon; just start by tying your laces. Just start with small, consistent efforts.

It can be reading just one page of an inspirational book a day.

It can be watching one motivational or educational video a day.

It can be making a conscious effort to look someone in the eye and smile once a day.

Think of it this way: an ocean is filled by little drops. If you will start pouring drops today, then you will absolutely create your own vast, powerful ocean one day.

Take the inspiring example of Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google. He came from a small town and started filling his ocean a long, long time ago. Today, he is drifting successfully in the corner of his own created ocean by being one of the most successful entrepreneurs globally. He did not achieve this overnight; he did it one “drop” at a time—one small effort, one learning moment, one challenge overcome.

Ritu Singal’s 5-Step Skill Tree to Unshakeable Confidence

To help you get started on your journey of personal growth and self-mastery, I want you to adopt a few simple, powerful things and watch the profound change in you. This is your personal skill tree—a path to developing an unshakeable inner core.

1. Cherish Your Flaws: The Acceptance Mirror
Stop hiding the parts of yourself you think are imperfect. Your so-called flaws are simply unique characteristics. The first step to self-acceptance is looking in the mirror and saying, “I am perfectly imperfect, and I am a valuable human being.” Embrace your true self without seeking external validation. If you’re shy, acknowledge it and decide to take tiny steps to push your comfort zone, but don’t hate yourself for it.

2. The Daily Drop: Consistency Over Intensity
Stop waiting for a massive burst of motivation. Commit to the daily drop. If you want to improve your English, commit to learning five new words a day or watching one English-language short video. If you want to be better at social skills, commit to starting one conversation a day, even if it’s just with the coffee shop barista. This is how you build confidence brick by brick.

Checkout: Transform Your Life, Transform Yourself

3. Observe and Adapt: Smart Modeling, Not Copying
You don’t need to shut yourself off from the world. Instead, become an active observer. Watch how people who are eloquent or confident carry themselves. How do they speak? How do they handle a situation? You can adapt their best skills and incorporate them into your own unique personality. This is not copying; it’s smart learning to become the best version of yourself.

4. Positive Self-Talk: The Inner Cheerleader
Your inner dialogue is a crucial determinant of your confidence. Every time a negative thought surfaces—”I look crazy,” “I’m good for nothing”—you need to immediately counteract it with a positive affirmation: “I am learning,” “I am capable,” or “I am making an effort.” This rewires your brain and drastically improves your self-esteem.

5. Find Your Purpose: The King of Your Own Position
When you know what you’re working toward, your insecurities become minor obstacles, not roadblocks. What is your unique purpose? What is your passion? When you are focused on becoming the best in your field—whether it’s backstage organization, a niche craft, or a specific area of expertise—you become the undisputed king of your own position. Your value is no longer determined by how well you “fit in” but by the incredible value you bring to the table.

A Final Message: You Are Ready

You are perfect and capable to do absolutely anything you set your mind to. The world needs the special skills only you possess. You are not defined by what you lack; you are defined by your courage to begin.

The journey is waiting. The goals are waiting.

Just make the right efforts at the right time. And the right time, my friend, is now.

Are you ready to start building your ocean, one drop at a time? I know you are. Let’s begin this journey together.