No family is perfect. Every family has its share of problems and situations that are hard to handle. Sometimes these difficulties lead to serious consequences. Family problems have to be handled comprehensively.
No matter how many family disputes and problems families face, the bond between family members is pure and blissful. As quoted by Anthony Brandt,
“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.”
Many movies and TV serials have been made to help families understand how to adjust and learn to live and love in a family. One such movie which was recently released was, “Dil Dhadakne Do.” It perfectly depicted how families are flawed on the inside but pretend to be perfect on the outside.
People fake it to be happy and sound to the outside world, whereas they are massively troubled in their interpersonal relationships.
How Family counselling Helps?
Once there was a family of four. The parents were not happy with their marriage and would always keep on fighting. Their elder son started having some mental disturbances because of this atmosphere at home.
He would ignore and stay away from his parents because his father would always scold him if he would keep an opinion. The condition of the son started getting worse. Someone suggested they get family therapy.
However, the parents were too proud of themselves that they thought there was nothing wrong with them as a family, and they don’t need any therapy.
As days passed, the mother started noticing similar behavioural changes in her younger son as well. Now, she had no choice other than to attend a family counselling centre. The father, however, did not agree to join them in the therapy. So, the three of them started their counselling.
As they followed the counselling ways, learned, and did homework, they could feel changes in their lives. The family therapist helped them get through their past traumas using innovative approaches.
Their father soon started noticing these changes and asked to be a part of this therapy. Soon the four of them created a loving bond and a happy family.
In this way, family counselling can be extremely beneficial for any family facing troubles in maintaining healthy relationships with one another.
What can be discussed in family counselling?
Family counselling centres offer many services. Many people are unaware of how many arenas and aspects of problems can be discussed with a family therapist.
Many problems and difficulties between families, kids, brothers, and couples can be resolved using family therapy.
Some common issues that you can discuss with a family therapist are:
- Family Disputes
There isn’t a single family in this world that is perfect. Being a life coach, I witness many people facing troubles with their own families. The households you might feel are perfect, are going through a lot of family disputes. Most families only pretend to be without any issues on the outer side but are severely faulty on the inside.
Every member of a family is unique. We all are a blend of different personalities. However, being a family we have to live together and adjust to one another. When people from different generations and mindsets live together, disputes are bound to happen.
The best part is that no matter how big or small your family dispute is, a counsellor can always be of great help. The balanced approach of a therapist helps people in a family live peacefully with one another.
- Abusive Marriages
One of the most common issues discussed with family therapists is abusive marriages. I have seen many strong women in abusive marriages for numerous reasons. Everyone has their reasons for being in such a relationship. Some common reasons why people choose to stay in an abusive marriage are:
- Lack of self-confidence: Some women do not have the confidence to face the world and its challenges alone. They need someone by their side and are ready to get abused in return.
- Future of their children: One of the primary reasons why people continue to live in abusive marriages is their children. In most cases, the mother is too scared about preserving their child’s future that she is ready to face what dirt the relationship brings.
- Love: When people are in love, they are ready to face any shortcoming it brings. Many people are ready to get harassed by someone, just because they love them.
- Family pressure: I have seen that individuals are terrified of accepting a separation in light of the pressure from their families. Their folks continually encourage them to adjust regardless of whether they aren’t protected there. It is because they think nobody will be prepared to wed somebody who’s a divorced person.
- Afraid To Confess: Numerous individuals don’t have the foggiest idea, however, there are various kinds of victimizers. A few victimizers undermine their other half to not open their mouths to anybody. The dangers can likewise shift, such as hurting the children or following them. It begins affecting the person’s emotional well-being unfavourably.
- The need for finances: Not everyone is financially independent to move on from an abusive marriage. Many times, people are ready to face the harassment as they might lose a place to live and food to eat if they leave.
I remember once a young girl came to me for therapy. Although she came for mental health therapy, I discovered she was suffering from an abusive relationship. So much so that she was not even allowed to discuss it with anyone. It slowly started affecting her mental health.
The girl was unable to conceive even after five years of marriage. Her husband and in-laws used to blame and put a lot of pressure on her. The inability to be a mother and the pressure it brought in her life was too much for her to handle. Her husband would even sometimes force her to do things she wouldn’t give her consent for.
When I asked her if she had discussed it with someone, she said she wasn’t allowed to. Moreover, she said she cannot go back to her parents as they wouldn’t accept her back because she married someone of a different religion. In this way, the lack of financial independence led her to live in such a relationship.
- Property Disputes
Another common issue faced by families is property disputes. Property disputes have been the cause of family break-ups for a long time. In India, it is commonly seen that people end life-long relationships for the sake of property.
People use legal actions to resolve such conflicts and spend the rest of their lives visiting courts and attending hearings. I have seen many people where the property they fought overturned into rags, but a legal solution could not be found.
Property disputes are generally seen where one family member hoaxes to take over some land or where lands are not equally divided into siblings. For instance, the property, when divided equally among siblings, is not entertained by many. Some people wish to get the greater share, and thus, it brings differences in the families.
Many people do not acknowledge visiting a family counselling centre to resolve property disputes. However, it is an easy, quick, and effective strategy. Family counselling for property disputes can help to clear the communication barriers and grudges from people’s hearts.
- Interpersonal Conflicts
Many people think interpersonal relationships are limited to social events. It is why family members find it quite arduous to form elated bonds within their families. I have seen many kids who are not well-versed with their family members. In fact, in many situations, the soreness can also be seen between parents and children or siblings. Any type of conflict that is restricting you from forming a divine bond with a particular family member can be sorted through family counselling.
Top 8 Benefits of Family counselling
There is not one family that does not face problems. There are many cases where families end up breaking because of the problems that were never addressed. Different approaches are used to solve different problems. It is where family therapy can be of great help. A family therapist consultancy can help you deal with bigger problems.
Many people often neglect problems until they become extremely severe. Some people might even feel that there’s nothing important in getting coaching, and realize it when things get very bad.
Counsellors have and have helped many families get over past conflicts and grudges. There are many benefits you can get from a family counsellor.
These are the top 8 benefits of family counselling that you can get.
- Improves Family Bonds
One of the prime reasons people undergo family counselling is to improve their family bonds. It is commonly seen that siblings get into conflicts from time to time. At younger ages, such conflicts are not very serious, but as people get older such conflicts may get more serious. Many conflicts need to be resolved as soon as they arise, or they might result in a broken connection in the family.
I have coached many siblings who were very jealous of each other. It started from a very young age when one of them started feeling the other child is loved more by the parents. Soon this thought and insecurity started arising in life decisions and other choices. Their parents thought this anguish would end when they grew up, but it started creating a distance between the two. Parents need to validate the significance of such emotions from a young age.
A counsellor can help you remove such thoughts and feelings and turn your relationships into a strong bond. You’ll be able to express your thoughts and understand the thoughts of other family members. It strengthens the relationships and bonds between families.
- Helps In Dealing with Separations
Separation is perhaps the most arduous occasion for any family, and it will affect every member of the family. Individuals experiencing a separation can here and there struggle with relatives, and a portion of the relatives can be trapped in the middle. Some individuals have a substantial motivation to separate, (for example, betrayal) while others decide to do so because they can’t see one another and have been detached for an extensive period.
Going to a family or marriage counsellor can help in saving the family. An advisor can distinguish the reasons why you have disputes and clashes in the family and concoct an approach to manage them. It can wind up saving the marriage and making the nuclear family more grounded. On the off chance that the accomplices choose to end the marriage, a therapist will set up the individuals required to acknowledge the conditions and adjust to the new circumstance. It will make the separation simple on the individuals, particularly little youngsters.
- Enhances communication between family members
It is entirely common to discover individuals who have a diligent time attempting to open up to one another. It can some of the time make disengagement and distance between the members of the family. With a family therapist, you will have the option to interact and understand people in the family and show how being transparent is significant for family members.
Beginning a discussion can be a test for some individuals since they don’t have the foggiest idea of where to begin. A counsellor will help you in learning how to start the discussion, and the individuals can contribute and state their opinion or feel about the issue.
It will be the initial step the family takes to improve bonds inside the family. Relatives will have the option to see each other decidedly without making any contentions all the while.
- Gives you self-esteem
Self-esteem is not only required for the outside world. If people want to form elated bonds, it is necessary to have self-esteem within families. Many clients who visit me find it very hard to even socialize with their families because of confidence issues. Many times people are vulnerable to peer pressure that makes them this way. If parents lack confidence, there are many chances that the kids will also face self-esteem issues. Low self-esteem causes many problems in families. It disrupts interpersonal relationships, hinders decision making and distances you from others.
counselling can help such individuals not feel odd in families. Generally, more outspoken family members get to take all the major family decisions. Other members may disagree with the decision but will be too ashamed to share their thoughts. A life coach will go a long way in helping you restore and help self-esteem in parents, children, or siblings. It will give your family a new chance to improve and succeed in life.
- Impacts The Health of all the family members
It is significant to be calm and relaxed when it comes to family, for both your physical and psychological wellness. Harmony comes when individuals see one another and are ready to do things all together.
When you feel like there is somebody prepared to tune in to your hardships and help you in the manner they can, at that point, the family appreciates more amicability. It can here-and-there be difficult for certain individuals to comprehend their accomplices and youngsters, however, this can be fixed by having family counselling.
If any individual from the family has an issue, it is managed and will give them genuine feelings of serenity. Mental and actual well-being will be improved when every individual from the family is eager to help each other. A family coach helps in recognizing and managing the issue in advance.
- Makes families ecstatic
Innovation has had both positive and negative impacts on families. It has made it a lot simpler to achieve errands and impart, however, it has likewise given elective choices to manage problems. At the point when individuals are focused or confronting an issue, they go to electronic devices, for example, cell phones and TV. It is a disgraceful method since you are stowing away from or fleeing from your issues, and this can hurt individuals from the family.
At the point when one individual from the family is disturbed, the others won’t be cheerful, particularly if they don’t have a clue what’s up.
There is nobody who appreciates being around an individual who doesn’t open up, regardless of the amount you love them. At this point, when you discover methods of opening up and seeing one another, you will find that you are a lot more joyful around one another.
A solid family will comprehend and figure out how to adapt to the issue, and confronting them together is better than choosing to disregard it. The next time an individual has an issue, they will be far much happy with opening up.
- Improves marital life
Numerous youngsters nowadays get messages that are viral on social media or television. There is no shadow of a doubt that the media is related to divorces and family separations that have ascended in the new past.
Families that visit a family counselling centre have had the option to address family issues in the beginning phases before they become extreme. It has allowed some families to manage and have the option to improve the relationship and reconnect together.
There will consistently be issues coming up, and the significant thing is the way it is managed. It can get exceptionally sad if none of the relatives realizes how to address it.
Family coaches can help you fabricate a fruitful family and marriage where everybody is upbeat and where outside impacts are diminished.
- Parent-Child Relationship
Parent-child relationships have always been a crucial part of family counselling. Appropriate communication between a kid and parent is a significant piece of an effective family. The guardians need to feel like kids are regarding them, and the youngsters need to feel like they are being heard.
With family counselling, both the guardians and children will get an opportunity to learn legitimate ways of communicating and have the option to relate better and manage any issue proficiently.
“Being in a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life.” -Lisa Weed
There is nothing above family for anyone. Most of the time, we ignore petty issues for the sake of the family. However, sometimes such issues can turn into bigger ones. It is better to address and resolve disputes whenever and wherever they arise.
Family counselling is a proven method of overcoming almost all problems faced by individuals in a family. Now that you know how family counselling can benefit you, do not think twice before improving your family relations.