Let’s begin with a quick poser: What does every human look for, ultimately, in life? If your answer is one of these – money, love, good family, success, material possessions, you are absolutely in the wrong. If you ask yourself, what do all these things finally lead to? A sense of happiness in life as given these things, you can afford to lead a decent social life, while taking care of your physical-, emotional and other needs. So it all boils down to happiness that we all chase so desperately.
But interestingly, happiness is a very very subjective idea. For a car dealer, happiness consists in selling, maybe, more than 10 cars on a particular day while for a first-time car buyer, happiness equals driving his prized possession, accompanied by loved ones. Likewise, for a famished soul, getting a full meal is enough cause for happiness but for a well-fed one, much more would be required to stimulate happiness. We don’t need to define happiness as we all know what it means. Now coming to the point, are you happy? If not, what stands in your way? What are the roadblocks on the path to the ultimate human dream? Let’s talk about some of them.
Regrets in life are a big reason why many of us are unhappy.
How I wish I had worked harder in college!
How beautiful it would be to reverse my childhood!
I wish I had heeded my father’s advice!
Only if I hadn’t hooked up with her!
Alas! I should have lived my life my own way!
The list is unending and always expanding as discussed by Brownie Welsh in her slim yet beautiful book Top Five Regrets of Dying. Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s On Death and Dying brings a psychological perspective to the process of dying and talks of how unfulfilled wishes and dreams play out in the process.
Here are some major regrets in life which are a great impediment on your path to happiness. Check them out to see if you too have a regret that’s keeping back your happiness and to take some remedial steps. Well, here we go!
- Please all
That one is a sure shot formula for failure and discontentment in life, said Einstein. Many have had a shot at it and have come out wiser- it doesn’t work. Stay away from the idea of leading your life and doing all the things so as to ensure everyone is satisfied. “If, in a group discussing a topic, everyone is thinking the same thing, no one is thinking at all.” Well, it implies everyone is by default, different, and therefore, trying to please all is a chimera you must not try to chase.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that you ought to live a self-centered, selfish life based on I, Me, Myself. Rather, its true intent is that we should try to do what we like to do and what God also likes!
Life is Evolution
Do you recall the movie Dear Zindagi? Well, a psychologist in the movie explains to Alia Bhatt how choosing a partner is akin to buying a chair from a furniture store. The sensible soul tells her that before buying a chair, we try out many of them at different stores and look at their design, ergonomics, comfort and the price, of course. Only after all these things do we make a decision about a particular chair. Now, if we expend so much of our energy and time over a mere lifeless chair, by corollary, choosing a life partner deserves far more? Doesn’t it?
Just like the plants and animals on the Earth have undergone biological evolution, humans, too, constantly evolve psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. Times are gone when people would be happy with a job for life or would be content with a partner for life. It’s important to appreciate the fact that it is not really necessary that we come out right in these decisions the very first time. We are humans, with our own inadequacies and frailties and life is a journey, a process of constant hit-and-trial, wherein we are learning each single moment and trying to get better at what we do.
Therefore, have no regrets and stop cursing yourself for the wrong company you chose, for the horrible partner you landed up with or for the now-gone-bust business idea of yours. Learn from your mistakes and move on. That’s life!
Oh! For a mentor
Come on, let’s face it. Life isn’t a bed of roses. So many unchartered territories we explore constantly that we run many grave risks of all kinds. Therefore, to help us navigate the treacherous path of life, it’s better to have a mentor, whom you can connect with. A good mentor is a friend, philosopher and trouble-shooter, all rolled into one. Such a soul can offer guidance for all important life questions – related to everything under the sun- and literally save your life.
So, if you haven’t had a mentor so far, it’s not too late. Look for one so that you always have an anchor to support you in tough times.
If you are searching for the best mentor who can guide you, then you can also contact Life Coach Ritu Singal.
You are nothing but your friends
Friendship is one of the finest gifts we humans can get and give. But it’s important to choose your friends with great care as they can have a significant role in determining the trajectory of your career, family life, and life in general. I always tell my daughters to exercise extreme care while choosing their friends.
It is often said that you are the average of the sum total of the five friends surrounding you. That is, if you are surrounded by predominantly happy-go-lucky friends, you become happy-go-lucky just like them. Conversely, if you keep company with the brooding types, you are more likely to end up the serious kind.
So, try to have five friends of the type that you aspire to become. Choose with care!
Oh, only if I hadn’t chased degrees
Do you remember the insanely successful movie Three Idiots? In one of the scenes, Ranchhod Dass, the character played by Amir Khan advises his friends not to chase success but excellence. His advice holds great value for today’s youth, who are mainly driven by marks and degrees.
Ask yourself honestly- Did I ever try to enhance my skills and talents beyond the classroom? How did you utilize the forced holiday thanks to COVID? Did you learn some new technologies, new languages or new skills. Helping out at home and trying to learn cooking is fine, but what about enriching your professional skills?
If your answer is NO, it’s high time we realized that a degree doesn’t earn a fat salary package, talent does. In these technology-led times, where tomorrow happened yesterday, you will soon feel outdated and obsolescent if you fail to upgrade yourself (CONSTANTLY).
Read our blog on 8 Personality Development Skills You Must Possess
The Now, The Here
The past is done and the future is yet to come. That’s why today is called the present. A present, a gift it really is! A Stanford University research shows that a great majority of us spend considerable time in remembering the past, which wastes a great amount of psychic energy and reduces productivity.
Remember, the past cannot be undone. Living in the present moment is all what you need to learn to make the most of your life.
Do not look at having big improvements in a short time. Instead, try to have incremental, small improvements over time and you’ll see how much they finally add up to. Try to ensure that your today turns out to be better than yesterday and your tomorrow is better than today. That’s the essence of constant improvement!
Watch our video on Be the better version of yourself by Life Coach Ritu Singal
Today’s hyper-connected, liberalized world offers a plethora of choices in terms of almost everything. Carrying over this analogy to your inner mind, nature has given you a blank canvas, on which you can paint infinite things with the colours of your choice.
You have the entire universe open to you. So hold your brush and paint to make your own beautiful painting to dazzle the world. You may draw a wrong stroke here or there, spill your paint or apply a wrong colour but feel free to make as many mistakes as you want. But remember, no repetitions are allowed and each mistake should be a new one!